Neko by Mark Doherty (mdoherty@mailbox.uq.edu.au) Chapter 8: First School Day Blues. Characters are the property of Takahashi Rumiko. I deserve to be thrown in the spring of drowned ferret for even thinking of using them. Please don't sue me, I am but a poor and penniless student. Any cameos are copyright their prospective creators. In this case, Sailor Moon was created by Takeuchi Naoko and by using these characters I deserve to have to put up with Chibi-Usa for a week(well, ok, no-one deserves that). C&C's are welcome, wanted and not wasted on me. My conventions explained: - The suffix -kun is used to denote a character's cursed male form. No suffix indicates that the person isn't in their cursed form. If someone turns up with a girl curse, they'll get the -chan suffix. Animal curses are denoted by the name of the animal as a suffix. After a couple of times, animal suffixes will probably usually be shortened to the first letter. For example, Henry-Mockingbird, or Henry-M after the first couple of times the name is used in a scene. - When taken from the perspective of people that don't know about Ukyou's real gender, Ukyou will be called he, his, etc. Most of the time, however, the story is narrator's perspective, and so she shall normally have female pronouns. - Just to be REALLY annoying, a cat curse will be denoted by a -Neko suffix. So, Ralf-Neko for example. - <> Denotes Chinese. - [] Denotes thoughts. - ** Is animal speak when used without quotes, and is sound effects within quotes. For example: *Hello.* the duck quacked. And: "*sigh*" she exhaled. - {} Are Panda signs. "Cruel, but composed and bland, Dumb, inscrutable and grand, So Tiberius might have sat, Had Tiberius been a cat." - Poor Matthias by Matthew Arnold. ********************* "Waaaaah! We're gonna be late for school! I'm gonna get detention for this!" a young blonde haired girl (with an hairstyle I'm sure not going to try and describe, although if I did, the word 'odango' or 'meatballs' would probably be involved) wailed as she and her larger companion, a girl with brown hair tied in a ponytail, ran down an anonymous street. A small black cat, who had a golden moon birthmark on its forehead, raced alongside the two girls. "Relax Usagi." the brown haired girl said. "So we're a little lost. At least we managed to trash that youma's butt. So what if we got so turned around chasing the thing that we had to ask that cute guy for directions? Any day you get to fight youma and meet a cute guy is a day that isn't totally lost." The cat decided to show a decidedly unfeline ability: speech. "Usagi, Makoto, that's enough." she said. The two girls didn't seem to be too fazed by the fact that they were running along with a talking cat. They'd fit right into Nerima. "Usagi, are you sure you're following the boy's directions properly?" Usagi sighed. "Of course I am, Luna. You can stop acting like I'm a total ditz, you know. I can follow simple directions." "Well, there's no helping it." Luna noted. "We'll have to ask someone else for directions. The ones we're following now don't seem to be getting us anywhere useful." "Hey look!" Makoto exclaimed, pointing at the only other person on the street, a young man with bluish-brown hair. His back was to them, he had turned out from a corner in front of them and he was striding away at a decent pace. "Maybe that guy can tell us how to get to our school. Come on." she said, as they all walked over to intercept the boy. The two girls and their cat approached the young man from behind. "Excuse me..." Usagi said when they got close enough to get the man's attention. Akane-kun turned as he realised that someone was talking to him. He'd been so wrapped up in thinking about how he was going to explain his lateness to his teachers that he hadn't even noticed the two girls. "Oh... hello. Can I help you?" he asked as he looked at the two girls. [Funny.] he thought. [I didn't think that any of the schools around here used those uniform colours.] Usagi tried to answer, but she was too busy drowning in Akane-kun's eyes. And her subconscious was busy hoping that this boy would swim out, rescue her from her drowning, and give her the Kiss of Life. "Uhh..." she managed as stars twinkled in her eyes. [He... he's almost as handsome as Tuxedo Kamen!] Makoto wasn't much better off, but at least she'd built up some resistance in her various quests to date cute boys. So she managed to just look flustered as she cleared her throat several times. Luna just repressed the urge to sigh, it would only draw suspicion from the boy. Then she noticed Ranma-Neko trying his best to hide in the crook of Akane-kun's arm. She suddenly felt very self-conscious as she saw the other cat look her in the eyes as he tried to bury himself deeper into Akane-kun's arm. "Excuse us..." Usagi tried again, fighting against her sudden tongue-tied state. "We're a little lost. Would you know where Juban High School is?" "Juban?" Akane-kun said, slightly confused. "I don't think I've ever heard of a school called that anywhere in Nerima." This brought the girls out of their dreamy state. "Nerima!?" Usagi howled. "How did we get to Nerima!?" Makoto growled. "I should have known that we shouldn't have trusted some strange guy for directions." she whispered to herself. "Even if that bandanna did make him look cute..." She sighed, before she said "I don't suppose you could direct us to the nearest train station, could you?" Akane-kun nodded, and gave the girls directions. Then he said "I'm sorry, but I really have to go, I'm already going to be late for school myself..." "Oh no, no, please don't let us hold you up." Usagi said dreamily. "We're grateful for your help." "Er... that's ok." Akane-kun said as he started to realise that the girls were staring at him and the probable reason for their attention. "I... uh... well, goodbye!" he rushed, before he walked away as fast as he could, still cradling Ranma-Neko in one of his arms. "What a total hunk." Makoto sighed as she and Usagi gazed lovingly at the retreating back of Akane-kun. "We don't have time for this, girls." their cat companion said. "Apparently, we're a fair way from home and you two are going to be late enough for school as it is. We have to get to the train station." Usagi lost the stars in her eyes as she looked down at the talking cat with a sly expression on her face. "Oh come on Luna. Don't think that just because I was busy uh... asking directions (yeah, that's it!) that I didn't see you checking out that guy's cat." Makoto chuckled as Luna blushed, an interesting sight on a cat. "I don't know what you mean." Luna humphed indignantly. The two girls laughed as they all started to walk off in search of the local train station. "You know..." Makoto said slowly, with careful consideration on her face. "That guy reminded me of my..." Thankfully her voice grew too faint to hear anymore as she and her two companions ambled into the distance. There was, after all, such a thing as an overused joke. ********************* "...and I turn back with hot water." "That's quite a story." Tofu said calmly as he handed a kettle to Akane-kun. Akane-kun grimaced. After arriving at Tofu's clinic, he'd decided to tell the Doctor about the curse, just in case the Doctor knew anything about a possible cure. Right now, they were in the small office at the back of the clinic. He poured the water over himself, leaving enough to turn Ranma back. "My, your life has become interesting, hasn't it?" Tofu said as he looked at the now-girl. "I could have lived with boring, Sensei." Akane replied as she looked around for Ranma-Neko. "Where's he gone this time?" "You mean your pet cat?" Tofu asked. "I think I saw it jump out the window. I'm sure he hasn't gone far." "He's gone?" Akane asked quietly. Tofu nodded. Akane sighed, and buried her head in her hands. "Not again." she despaired. ********************* It had happened again. Worse yet, this time it had happened in front of her. He had woken, naked, in a small clinic, right in front of Akane, who had been blushing redder than his Chinese shirt. What was it about the Darkness, the horrible weakness that his father had given him, that caused him such embarrassment? Couldn't it leave him in peace, or at least leave him with some dignity? There was something wrong with him, Ranma knew that for a fact. Whatever his father had done, whatever had happened to him, it was worrying him. Bad enough that the black shroud of unconsciousness took him whenever water splashed on him, but WHAT the HELL happened to his clothes!? [If you were a cat, you wouldn't wear clothes.] a treacherous and dark voice whispered through his mind. [And you'd be naked when you turned back, right?] He clenched his fists as he savagely squashed the snide, whispering voice in his head. "That's stupid." he whispered/growled. "I am not a cat. Not a cat." "Did you say something?" Akane asked, before she realised she 'wasn't talking to him' because of the clinic incident. "I... uh... was wondering how long you've known that doctor guy." Ranma improvised. "Oh, Tofu-sensei has been our family doctor for years." Akane stumbled slightly as she realised something. There was something missing when she thought about the doctor. She thought back to when she had been talking to Tofu. Wait... that was it. Her heart hadn't beat any faster, she hadn't been nervous at all, Tofu's understanding smile hadn't sent shivers down her spine... She'd had the biggest crush for Dr Tofu for so long. Once or twice she'd even gone to him with injuries too minor to be truly worth it, just to be in his soothing presence, to feel that calm, caring aura. She'd been in love. But what had happened? Akane searched within herself for her former feelings, and found them to be... gone. She still liked the doctor, she looked up to him, but her love, her crush was just... gone. Why? Where had those feelings gone? "So... uh..." Ranma said hesitantly as they raced along. "What was it you wanted to talk about before... you know..." "Don't have time for that now." Akane responded tersely, shoving her private thoughts aside. They could wait for a better time to examine. "If we really rush, we might still make it." [No thanks to you.] Ranma nodded as the two teenagers picked up their speed so that they basically blurred down the street. ********************* "Well, that was pretty easy." Ukyou noted as she followed Nabiki out of the administration office. "Oh, you'll find that registering at Furinkan is easier than most places." Nabiki replied as they walked down a hall. "A lot of parents don't like sending their kids here for some reason, so the school admin make it real easy to get in without the usual documentation delays. I've heard that the parents are afraid of the Principal." "Why? What's he like?" Ukyou asked. "I don't know. He hasn't been around for three or four years, so he was before my time." Nabiki admitted. "Must have been a real terror, to have people worried even after not being here for so long." Ukyou shrugged in response. "So, are we going to my home room?" Nabiki didn't answer. She had her head cocked slightly, as if she was listening for something. "No, it couldn't be." she said, shaking her head. Ukyou blinked. "Couldn't be what?" she asked, before she was waved back into silence by the Tendo girl. She tried listening herself, but all she could hear was the vague catches of some sort of inspiration speech outside. That was probably a sports team practising before school. Nabiki walked into the nearest room, and she headed for the windows. Ukyou followed, and looked down into the schoolyard. "Is there some sort of sports carnival on today?" she asked as she stared at a menagerie of boys, each dressed in varying sports uniforms, from basketball to soccer to sumo, there were even a couple of guys dressed in tacky golfing clothes, complete with putters in their hands. At the centre of the crowd was a man dressed in a kendo clothes. Nabiki chuckled, before she started to laugh. Ukyou eyed the other girl nervously. There was something about seeing Nabiki laugh that made her worry, and she shook her head as she realised that she had instinctively covered her wallet pocket with both of her hands. "Oh, happy days!" Nabiki chortled to herself. "I will be able to afford that new blouse after all... Mr Mealticket is finally back." "Perhaps I should go find my home room myself..." Ukyou said, eyeing the exit nervously, animal instincts of preservation telling her that she was near a predator. Nabiki stopped chortling as she turned to face the chef. "Why don't you go wait for Akane down at the entrance?" she suggested. "I'm sure she'd like to see that you made it okay." Ukyou thought about it. "Sure, that sounds like a good idea. Are you coming too?" Nabiki shook her head. "Oh no. I have a few bets to take... *ahem* I _mean_, I have a few friends I want to talk to. You go on ahead, you don't need me to babysit you." Ukyou nodded slowly, her danger instincts buzzing at the almost sharklike grin that had taken over most of Nabiki's face. ********************* Ranma tried to spark a conversation again as he and Akane ran towards school. "I guess Kasumi was wrong about you and boys. Ya seemed to get on alright with that doc guy, and... uh... Ukyou." [I guess she counts. Sort of.] "What do you mean?" Akane asked, tightlipped, trying to pour as much speed as possible out of her body. "Kasumi was trying to describe you while you were setting up the tent with Ukyou last night." Ranma said. He grinned, as he added "I've never seen someone use phrases like 'violent maniac' and 'hates boys' in an attempt to make me like a girl before." "Violent maniac?" Akane growled. "Hates boys?" she added, puzzled, as they approached Furinkan's gates. "Why would Kasumi think I... hate... boys..." she trailed off as she saw a large collective of school boys, all dressed in one sports uniform or another, all racing towards her. "Oh..." she said weakly. "That's right. Now I remember why Kasumi thought I hated boys." Ranma's eyes bugged as he saw the approaching horde. "What the hell!?" he gasped. Akane groaned. "I can't believe it. They can't still be on this kick, I haven't even been here for three months!" ********************* Ukyou leant against the entrance gate of Furinkan. Occasionally, she'd turn her head around to look out at the street. [Where are they?] she thought for the fifth time in as many minutes. [If they don't hurry, they'll be late.] Ukyou sighed, returning her gaze to the crowd of boys. She didn't have a clue what was going on with that lot, they sure weren't doing anything 'sporty', they were just standing there, looking out to the street. It was starting to make her think she should move, since she felt like they were staring at her. She scowled slightly at them, hoping that they'd look somewhere else. Instead, they pointed, gave a collective shout made incoherent by their numbers, and then they surged forward, breaking into a run. Ukyou eeped, she hadn't expected such a negative response to one little scowl. As the crowd bore down on her, she narrowed her eyes. "Fine." She drew her combat spatula, and held it aloft. "For the honour of the Kuonji School of Okonomiyaki Martial Arts, I will not falter! I'll take you all on!" she cried as she swung her weapon at the first boy to come within her range. "What?" the leader of the left flank, a kendoist by his clothes, said in confusion as he took his eyes off Akane to look at this sudden threat. With an ear-splitting *clang*, he was taken out of the fight slightly earlier than he'd expected. "Aaahhh!!!" one of the nearby boys cried. "Treachery!" He said no more, as he was hit over the head with Ukyou's battle spatula. Another boy took up the cry. "This guy must be after Akane for himself, and he's taking us out first! We gotta defend ourselves!" Several of the other nearby boys slowed their charge to face this threat from their flank, but the majority surged past to take on their true target. ********************* Ranma slowly grinned as most of the boys approached(except for a small crowd on one side of the gates, which seemed to have had their momentum cancelled by something). A fight. A big fight. This was just what he needed, after the extreme embarrassment of that episode at the clinic. "Ranma! Stay out of..." Akane trailed off as Ranma ploughed into the boys that had been coming up on her right flank. She growled, before she started to defend herself, throwing one boy here, using another boy as a shield there, and, when she thought none of the onlookers at the school's windows were looking, even a couple of the dirtier tricks she'd started using over in China. "Hey, Akane! Don't tell me they're after you guys too!" Ukyou cried as she waded through the intervening boys, using her spatula like a scythe. "Are you two okay?" "I'm fine Ukyou. So's 'Ranbo' over there." Akane shouted out as she elbowed a soccer player who had been trying to sneak up from behind, before she pointed at Ranma, who was toying with four members of the archery club. "I don't need help for these guys." "What? They attacked me!" Ukyou protested, absently spatulaing an hapless fencer who had been trying to sneak by the chef to get at Akane. "I'm just defending myself." "Trust me Ukyou, they're after me." Akane said, whittling down the quickly dwindling number of boys with a lightning elbow strike and hammer blow to two sportsfishermen. "They used to do it when I was last here." "Oh." Ukyou said, tripping a charging sumo wrestler with her battle spatula. "I guess they were running more towards you guys than me. Just chose a bad place to lean, I guess." She looked down at the boxer she had been standing on. "Sorry, case of mistaken circumstances." "That's okay." the boxer wheezed. "Could you please get off my kidneys? Thank you." ********************* "Well, would you look at that." one of the girls near Nabiki said as the collective students looked at the fight. "Akane goes on and on about how she hates boys, then she skips school forever and now here she is being defended by not one but two cute guys." "Greedy of her." another girl noted. "Who are those two?" the first girl wondered as they watched the school boys get trounced by the three martial artists. "They're not from around here, that's for sure. I mean, look at them. They're not even in uniform." There was a momentary pause in the conversation, out of respect for the ear- shattering *CLANG* of a gigantic spatula hitting a boy dressed in a golfing outfit, before a third girl spoke. "Look at all that hair. A pigtail and a ponytail. You don't see that too often in guys." "I'd sure like to know who they are." the first girl asserted. "Any guys who can get that close to Akane without personal injuries have to be something out of the ordinary." Nabiki smiled. Paydirt. In her books, if knowledge was power, then information had to be money. She knew that if she sent Ukyou off, chances were he'd get involved in the fight, and she'd read the same sort of character in Ranma. A little bit of showing off by the two could make them as big a ticket as Akane was for that all-too-short a time, months ago, when she'd been the only one fighting the crowd. "Well then, perhaps you'd be interested in what I know..." Nabiki purred. "And I'm sure I could acquire some photos for those interested. For research purposes alone, of course..." ********************* Kunou fumed slightly as the last of the school boys fell before the three martial artists. He was not annoyed because the boys had lost, far from it, since he had fully expected them to lose. No, he was angry for a far more important reason. These two... curs... had interfered with his challenge, had used the dirty tactics of setting up an ambush while using sweet Akane as a lowly decoy. It was unacceptable, such behaviour could not be left unpunished. The only question was, which one to punish first? While his skills in the blade were undoubtably paramount, etiquette and form dictated that he take them on one at a time. But how to choose which to chastise first? Kunou mulled it over for a few seconds, before Fate decided to choose for him. "Yo." Ranma said as he walked up to the kendoist. "You with those jerks?" Kunou narrowed his eyes. Well, that made things easier. The man was obviously little more than a peasant, but there were some forms one had to follow. "And what is your name?" Kunou asked. Before Ranma had opened his mouth to reply, Kunou continued. "But wait! 'Tis it not custom for me to give my name first? Very well..." ********************* "...like the mighty mountain lion, so is the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, Kunou Tatewaki!" With a thunderous boom that made the kendoist start and look at the sky nervously, Kunou finished his opening challenge speech to the first of the two impertinent wretches who thought to dare trouble the beauteous Akane with their miserable presence. [Ha!] he thought as he posed mightily. [I shall allow a moment for the fear to settle before I dispatch this lowly peasant.] His opponent, Ranma, blinked a couple of times as his eyes de-glazed from Kunou's lengthy narrative. "You sure you're not like the mighty drill?" Ranma asked. "You sure do a good enough job of boring to be one." "Such insolence. Such laughable bravado." Kunou replied as he pointed his boken at Ranma. In the background, the eyes of the crowd of students that had gathered once Kunou challenged Ranma lit up. Finally, some action. "Heh. I'm ready for ya." Ranma smiled as he shifted into a fighting stance, as Kunou did the same. Then the sky rumbled as dark clouds began to move in on the school. Both of the boys eyed the darkening skies with a small amount of trepidation, before Kunou turned back to his opponent. As Ranma took his eyes off the sky, the kendoist hesitated, started to say something, before he hesitated again. Finally, he spoke. "I... suggest a temporary truce." Kunou ground out the words. "'Tis unfair to the fine student body to deprive them of precious study time, and even at my incredible pace, we would delay the spectators from their scholarly pursuits. I propose we postpone this matter until a sunnier... I mean, until a better time." The crowd started to murmur. Kunou was backing down from a fight? Ranma took another quick look at the sky, before he looked around to see how far he was from cover. After noticing that Akane and Ukyou had already headed for shelter, he nodded slowly. "Yeah, sure. I can whip your butt later as easy as now." "'Whip my butt'!?" Kunou mimicked incredulously. "Such vulgar rantings from an overconfident buffoon! You have won a reprieve for the moment, for Kunou Tatewaki is nothing if not generous. But mark me well, this is not at an end. Indeed, for am I not the..." he trailed off as he realised that not only had everyone else already gone inside, but that the rain was only seconds away. "Time to move with the calm and dignified gait of a noble samurai." Kunou decided, as he scuttled inside, narrowly avoiding getting hit by the spray of the rainshower. ********************* Ukyou and Akane stared at Ranma, fascinated by the way he was holding a bucket of water in each hand. Well, to be more exact, each forefinger. He was supporting the buckets with one finger from each hand, simply because doing it that way meant he had an extra inch or so between the rest of his body and the cold water in the buckets. All three teenagers had been given bucket duty outside their classroom as punishment for being late. "You know, you're going to strain something if you keep doing that." Ukyou noted as she slightly shifted the weight on one of her own buckets. "Afraid of cold water. Unbelievable." Akane muttered. She was not in a good mood, today was turning into a real horror. The way things were going, she wouldn't be surprised if THAT GIRL turned up. That'd just put a final nail in the coffin of what was shaping up to be her third worst day ever, after the day of Jusenkyo, and the day at the Amazon village. Oh wait, and that day outside of that town, Qi'jiang. And that day that bandits attacked. That day when they'd wandered onto a Chinese test site for mines hadn't been fun either. Let's not even think about that day that she and Ukyou had been attacked by a gang of ninja who had based all of their attack moves off of interpretational dance steps. "I am not afraid!" Ranma protested, causing his buckets to slosh. He spent the next few seconds frantically making sure that none of the water got anywhere near him. Akane screwed her eyes as she quickly ran through every miserable day she'd ever had, slightly disturbed at how many of them were over in China. After a quick calculation, she relaxed. Yes, all it would take is one more miserable turn of events, and this would be the third worst day of her life. She wasn't, by nature, a pessimistic girl, but experience had taught her that getting her hopes up about the rest of the day wouldn't be a good idea. "So who was that guy who threatened us after we beat all those boys?" Ukyou asked as she idly wondered what Ranma went through whenever he wanted a drink. For that matter, why didn't he carry an umbrella if he had all this fear? [Must be that stupid macho thing with denying he even has a problem.] she thought idly. "Yeah, and what's with the mass attack thing?" Ranma added, his buckets under control again. "That the way the greet new students 'round here?" "Kunou." Akane replied. "Kunou to both of your questions. He's the kendo captain of this school, he's responsible for the boys attacking, and they were after me, not you two." "Doesn't like you much does he?" Ranma suggested. "I wish." Akane muttered. "Girls he doesn't like he leaves alone. No, the problem is that he does like me. About two weeks before I snuck... before I left home to go to China, he made this stupid speech to all the school boys, saying that if they wanted to date me, they had to defeat me in combat first. That fiasco outside was the result." "And you agreed to this?" Ukyou asked, blinking. "No! Of course I didn't. But that didn't matter to them, they attacked anyway. I still can't believe that they're still ready to do that after three months." "I guess it shows devotion to their cause, at least." Ranma replied. Akane snorted. ********************* In one of the classrooms further down the hall, Nabiki looked over at Kunou, a predatory grin on her face. When Akane had left, Nabiki had never seriously expected Kunou to follow. It had meant for a certain... downturn in her profits. Now that he was back, she had to make up for lost time. "So, Kunou-chan, did you bring me a souvenir from your trip?" Nabiki asked. "I had no time for purchasing trinkets like some half-wit tourist." Kunou replied. "And even if I had availed myself of the merchandise I passed during my trek, why would I have bought anything for you?" "So, gone for three months, eh Kunou-chan?" Nabiki continued, not at all worried by his response. "Did you ever find Akane?" Kunou shook his head and sighed. "Regrettably, no. I came so close sometimes to finding her, but always the trail would grow cold. It was a sore test of my courage and willpower, to face some of the horrors on that journey (my sister, for example), when my goal was ever elusive. If only fair Akane had known I followed! Then, she would have gladly come to my waiting embrace, safe in the knowledge that I could protect her." "Sure, whatever." Nabiki rolled her eyes while Kunou wasn't looking. [Nice to see he hasn't changed.] "But enough of this idle banter." Kunou said. "I have need of information, Tendo Nabiki, and I am sure that you would still be the one to supply it to me. Tell me, who were those two men that dared to flout my challenge with regards to Akane?" Nabiki looked back at Kunou, her face blank, her lips unmoving. After a few moments of this, Kunou sighed and pulled some money out. "I see that a quarter of a year has done nothing to quell your regrettable mercenary streak." "Nice to have you back too, Kunou-chan." Nabiki replied as she counted the yen. "Now then, how can I sum this up as quickly as possible... I know. The brunette, Kuonji Ukyou, is the man who has been living with Akane for the last three months..." "WHAT!?!?!" Kunou choked. "...and the pigtailed guy, Saotome Ranma, is the man that Akane ran off to see in the first place..." "Aaaarrrhhhh!?!?!?" Kunou gargled, as he turned white. "...since he's her fiance." Nabiki finished in a slightly bored tone, as if Kunou's reactions had never happened. "Wheeeeezzzzee..." Kunou managed, clutching at his heart. "You okay, Kunou-chan?" Nabiki asked. "I shall recover in a moment..." Kunou gasped. "And then the vengeance of heaven, and my blade, shall strike those two villains down." Nabiki cocked her head. "I suppose now's not a good time to mention that when you ran out after Akane all that time ago, you forgot to pay for that last batch of photos. There's a small amount of interest due..." "Really? How much?" Kunou asked as he started to regain his normal colour. "Never let it be said that Tatewaki Kunou did not pay his debts." Nabiki looked at the kendoist for a moment, before she shook her head "I'd better wait until I'm sure you're okay before I tell you. Best to be at full strength." "Oh." Kunou said, paling slightly again. "I see. In that case, tell me later. For now, I WILL NOT STAND FOR SUCH FAMILIARITY WITH AKANE!!!" "Kunou, go stand in the hall." the teacher said. ********************* "So then while Ukyou distracted the demoness with his Dance of the Thousand Okonomiyaki, I rushed in, took the Jewel of Zir'Kon, and we escaped into the night. We took the Jewel back to the villagers, and in gratitude they gave us the rare and mystical Quenlong Potato." Akane finished up. To pass the time on their punishment, they'd been swapping stories of some of their encounters in China, keeping their voices low so that the teacher wouldn't bust them. "The Potato made for a great soup." Ukyou added. "I still say you should have let me cook it. It was my turn." Akane said, slightly indignant from the memory. "No it wasn't." Ukyou returned. "It was your turn the time before that, with the Radish of the Warlord Sekth." She kept her face carefully blank as she shuddered slightly at the memory of that particular meal. "Oh yeah." Akane said, blushing slightly. "Sorry, I got those two mixed up." Ranma looked on at the two girls. Jeez, and he'd thought that some of the things he'd gone through on his trips had been stupid. And he was engaged to both of these girls? At least Akane had finally calmed down enough to talk to him civilly. Actually, when she wasn't angry at him, she was really quite cu... [Water coming.] the large part of his danger sense that his hydrophobia had taken over warned. Ranma leapt out of the way of a bucket's worth of water. Akane and Ukyou weren't as prepared. The water hit them, activating their curses. For Ukyou-kun, that was no problem, except that breathing was a little harder, thanks to the now tighter chest bandages that he used to hide his breasts when he was female. For Akane-kun, however, that meant... "That does it." Akane-kun decided as he looked down at his dress, which was straining at the shoulders to hold his body. "I am not wearing a dress to school ever again." "Never!" Kunou's voice cried out. The three martial artists turned to see him standing, empty bucket in hand. His eyes never wavered from Ranma, perhaps he had not even seen Ukyou and Akane change. "Never shall I allow you to be Akane's fiance!" Akane-kun's eyes widened as he heard a rumbling from the surrounding rooms. Within a second or two, from the sounds of it, there'd be several people out here. He'd never live down being caught like this, a male in a girl's dress. It was almost ironic, he was about to be labelled a pervert thanks to the too-loud voice of the man he considered to be the biggest pervert he'd ever met... Ukyou-kun's eyes widened as he heard the rumbling, and saw Akane-kun's expression. If there was anyone who understood the horror of malicious school gossip, it was Ukyou. After all, it had been the catalyst for her disguising herself as a boy all those years ago. Ranma could deal with the distraction of Kunou. Their two minds ran through their possible options in the briefest of moments that they had left before discovery. Akane-kun flung his head around, looking for escape routes, realising that he'd never make it out of the hall without being seen. Ukyou-kun ran through his options, before he realised that there was only one thing that could buy Akane a way out. He reached into his clothes, brought out a flour bag that couldn't possibly have been concealed in those tight clothes, and ripped it open to the cry of "Flour bomb!" The inner windows that surrounded the hall were flung open by various students to the cries of 'You got engaged Akane!?', 'Akane, how could you?', and 'Hey, that still means that the guy with the spatula is free!', before the choking cloud of white flour billowed in through the now open windows. The boys and girls at the open windows stumbled back, coughing, to get away from the stuff. After a few seconds, the flour cloud dissipated, and the now more cautious students crept back to the hall windows. There, they saw Kunou and Ranma recovering from the choking effects of the cloud. Akane and Ukyou were nowhere to be seen. "*cough* Never shall I allow *cough**cough* such a travesty." Kunou gasped, coughing again from the flour he'd inhaled. He took a swipe at Ranma with his boken, which barely missed. Ranma sneezed from flour irritation, before he said "Jerk, I don't need *cough* your crap today." He dodged another of Kunou's swipes, before he continued. "But if you want to fight, let's take it outside." With that, he ran down the hall. Kunou chased after, with a crowd of students following him. "You cannot escape that easily, Saotome! My love for Akane burns bright, and I shall not have its warming flame blocked by one such as you, especially not after the horrors I faced in her name over the last few months!" Ranma's response was to turn his head back to Kunou and stick his tongue out, before he turned his head forward again so that he could jump out of the open window he had just reached. "It takes more than a leap to impress the Blue Thunder!" Kunou scoffed as he jumped out after Ranma. "I follow!!!" he cried, before he looked down. Then he started screaming. "What are you screaming abou-" Ranma looked down. Beneath him was a swimming pool. There seemed to be a lot of water in it. "Aaahhhh! No! No! No! No! No! N..." With a splash, Ranma hit the water. A second later, Kunou landed with an impressive kersplash. Back at the window, several students were huddled around the ledge, looking down at the rippling waters of the pool. Once of the girls in the back, who couldn't see through the small crowd, gave up on trying to peer over shoulders, and asked "Can you see anything?" to a boy who had managed to get prime position in front of the window's edge. "No, the water's all murky. Wait... wait a minute. Yes, I can see something coming up now." The boy stared for another couple of seconds, before he muttered "That doesn't make sense." "What?" "Their clothes just floated to the top of the pool, but Kunou and the new boy aren't in them." There was a slight pause, as everyone stared at the floating pants and shirt of Ranma, and the Kunou's clothes. The owners of the clothes were nowhere to be seen. "I don't understand. What happened to Kunou and the other guy?" another girl said as she stared down at the floating clothes. She blinked when she thought she saw a dark blur flash out from underneath the clothes. She blinked again, and the blur was gone, so she dismissed it as her imagination. "You don't think they're running around naked do you?" one of the girls asked, eliciting giggles from her friends. There was another silent moment as everyone looked at the floating clothes, trying to work out what had happened. "OH MY GOD!" one of the students exclaimed, horrified realisation spreading across his face. "It's so _obvious_!" The other students turned to look with interest at the boy. Below, in the pool, another dark blur swam from underneath the floating clothes towards the pool's edge, but no-one was looking to see it. "Don't you see?" the boy who had piped up continued once he saw that he had everyone's attention. "It's so obvious, any fool could see it. There can be only one reason that Kunou and the new kid disappeared when they hit the water." The boy paused dramatically, before he conspiratorially whispered "The pool must be full of acid!!!" The other students gasped, several of them paling at the thought. "No, no. Think about." the boy said, raising his voice to override the din. "How else could nothing but the clothes of two people disappear like that? The only answer has to be acid, some sort of horrible flesh eating acid that leaves clothes alone." There was a short pause as everyone mulled over this. Then, one of the girls sighed. "I knew that one day those pranks that the Chemistry Club pulls would get out of hand." The others nodded in knowing agreement. ********************* "So Ranma acts like a cat when he's in that form?" Ukyou asked, wringing out her wet and(thanks to the flour) sticky hair. She was helping Akane to look for Ranma in the bushes surrounding the pool. After they'd used Ukyou's 'smoke'screen to rabbit, they had rushed to the showers located in the changerooms. After changing back, they had emerged to find the clothes floating in the pool. It hadn't taken much deduction to figure out what Ranma's clothes meant, but Kunou's were a mystery. What had happened to the kendo captain? "He acts like he's trying to give me a migraine." Akane muttered as she absently tried to brush the excess flour off her dress. That task wasn't made any easier by the fact that all the water she'd been around to change and change back had turned the flour into a sticky, doughy mess. "But yes, he acts like a cat. It looks like Mr Saotome was telling the truth about that. It was ridiculous, I turn him back at the clinic; there he was, no clothes on, and he still thinks he doesn't turn into a cat! What does he think happens, that he just falls unconscious and that whoever's around takes his clothes off for kicks?" "No clothes on?" Ukyou asked, blinking, as she latched onto one piece of Akane's tirade. "You mean you saw..." "I forgot he wouldn't have clothes when he turned back, okay!?" Akane said, blushing. "It was all his fault anyway, if he hadn't made me chase after him, I mightn't have been so distracted and I would have remembered about the clothes." Ukyou blinked, opened her mouth, and then she reconsidered what she was about to say, so she shut her mouth, shrugged, and went back to searching the bushes. "If we're lucky, we can find Ranma and change him back before anyone's the wiser." Akane said as she rustled peeked through some undergrowth. "I guess he wouldn't want the entire school thinking of him as a freak anyway, so he'd thank us for keeping his secret..." "If only he believed there was a secret to be kept." Ukyou finished. "You know, it can't be good for him, denying something like this." Akane was about to reply when she saw one of the bushes close to her shake slightly. She narrowed her eyes as she snuck over to the bushes. As she got closer, the rustling became more pronounced, as if whatever was making the bushes move was trying to get away or something. "Oh no you don't!" Akane shouted as she lunged into the bushes. "I'm not going through your little games a third time in one day... eh?" She blinked as she got a good grip on the creature that had caused the rustling. It sure wasn't a cat, whatever it was. "Did you get him?" Ukyou asked, sticking her head up from the bush she had been searching. "I don't think so." Akane said hesitantly. "Let's see." She pulled the struggling creature out. It was a little black piglet. As soon as it saw Akane, it ceased its struggles and turned its face away from her, as if it was ashamed or something. "Oh! Kawaii!" Ukyou cooed, before she realised that that sort of thing violated her guy act. She coughed, before she gruffly said "I mean, that's not a bad looking pig. For a... um... pig, that is." "I wonder if you're somebody's pet." Akane mused as she looked at the piglet. "Oh well, I guess I can ask around. But until I find your owner, I'll have to call you something." Akane took on a thoughtful expression as she looked at the animal in her arms. The pig looked so blissful at being in her embrace that for a moment she was tempted to call it 'Nirvana'. But then, a far more appropriate name surfaced in her mind. "How about..." she said slowly, drawing out the words, "...P-chan?" ********************* Somewhere else, on a desolate plain, Ryouga looked up from the large, crinkled map he was holding. After a few seconds of looking around, puzzled, he shook his head and looked back at the map. ********************* Ranma-Neko peeked out from the bush he had been hiding in. He stared at the two not-cats that he felt he could trust. Why weren't they chasing after him anymore? Didn't they want to play with such delightful scamperings, like earlier that day, with the bluefur fun one? Didn't they want to play the hunt, to chase him until he deigned to be caught? He padded out of the bush, and stalked over to the two. What was that creature that the bluefur one was holding? Was it a food animal that she had hunted down? Wait... no. Bluefur was not acting like the creature was a catch from a hunt. She was treating it like... He yrowled softly, his tail swishing as he thought about it. He felt himself be picked up by the brownfur friend one, but his attention never wavered from the... thing, the animal that had intruded on his fun. ********************* Akane looked up from her examination of the little piglet to see Ukyou pick up Ranma-Neko. She shook her head "How... how did you get him to be picked up so easily? It took me forever to chase him down a couple of times this morning!" Ukyou shrugged as she looked down at the cat in her arms. "He must just be... not in the mood to run." she guessed. Akane stared hard at the cat for a few seconds, before the piglet in her arms bweed. She looked down at the animal, and said "Now who owns you, hmm? I'd better ask around, see if you're someone's pet." She looked up at Ukyou and added "Could you turn Ranma back? Better if you do it anyway, since you're a guy too." "But..." Ukyou started, before she sighed. "Sure, no problem. No reason for me to be embarrassed over seeing him change, right?" She chuckled weakly. ********************* Ukyou looked around the small room that was used to store sports equipment. Good, definitely no witnesses. She looked down at the cat she held in one hand, to the kettle she held in the other. Over her kettle arm, Ranma's clothes were draped. "Of all the situations that pretending to be a guy would get me, this one never came to mind." she said, before she set the cat down. As the feline looked at her cautiously, she shut her eyes, and poured some of the hot water from the kettle. "Ranma? You okay?" she asked. After a few seconds of silence, she cautiously opened one eye. Ranma-Neko looked at her from his new position. He had completely avoided getting hit by the water. Ukyou sighed, closed her eyes, and poured some more water over the cat's new position. "Ranma?" she asked. No response. She opened her eyes, to see that the cat had moved again, and he was starting to look at her with caution in his eyes. "Don't like hot water anymore than you do cold hey?" she asked. "Well, sorry, but..." She rested her free hand on the cat, making sure that he couldn't move, "we need to get you back to yourself." She poured the water as she closed her eyes, wincing at the slightly too-hot water that splashed on her skin. She snatched her hand away as she felt the creature she was holding down transform. "I'll kill it!" Ranma hissed after a few seconds of getting his bearings. He clenched his fists. "Kill what?" Ukyou asked, opening her eyes to look at Ranma. When she saw that he hadn't dressed yet, she quickly spun about so that she was facing a wall instead. "I... I don't know." Ranma said, letting his hands open. He looked around, confused, before he looked down. "Aw man, twice in one day? It has been one day, right?" Ukyou nodded, never letting her eyes leave the wall. "Ranc... Ranma, what do you believe happens to you when you get wet?" she asked hesitantly. Ranma slowly put his clothes on as he tried to explain "I don't know... I mean, there's just a blankness when I try to think about what's happened to me when I'm out. I just know that I don't turn into a cat." "So why do you wake in places besides where you got splashed?" Ukyou asked. "I don't know." Ranma replied. "Maybe someone carries me." "And why do you never have your clothes on when you wake?" "Er... maybe Pop likes to embarrass me because he thinks that my fainting is a weakness?" Ranma tried. "I mean, that's why he's tried to make up this stupid cat curse thing, he just wants to have a fanciful excuse he can believe in for why his son isn't everything he hoped for." "Do you think that Akane would do that to you, when it happened to you this morning?" Ukyou asked. "What, you think that she wants out of this engagement so bad that she'd do that to you? To anyone?" "I don't know, I guess not." Ranma said weakly. "And why," Ukyou turned back to face him, looking him straight in the eyes, "can't you believe that you have a cat curse? Your father turns into a panda, Akane and I turn into men! And we're not the only ones!" She muttered something under her breath about 'Like that damn Chinese bitch', before she added "What's so hard to take about being a cat?" "What's so hard!?" Ranma waved his hands in disbelief. "Have you ever been thrown into a pit of starved animals when you were only ten years old!? Have you ever gone through a ripping, tearing, howling hell like that?" "No." Ukyou admitted. "Have you been laughed at because of something that happened to you? Laughed at so bad it hurts?" [Yes.] Ukyou thought, but said nothing. "Well I've had people laugh at me because of my thing with ca... cats. And then, to have your father, your own father tell you that you change into a cat, just so he can get over his feelings of inadequacy? Have you had that happen to you? _I_ am all human. Nothing else. Whatever happened over in China, it had NOTHING to do with some stupid curse, Pop was the one to get that, okay!?" Ranma blinked, before he calmed himself. "Look, I didn't mean to shout at ya like that, but I'm sick of people thinking that I should believe my Pop about this. There is no proof, there will NEVER be any proof that I turn into a cat, and I wouldn't believe it anyway, since I know what I am. I am a man, and I am late for class. Excuse me." He turned, and walked away. "You're living a lie." Ukyou whispered as she watched him stalk out of the room. "And you don't even know it, do you? You're going to lose yourself if you don't do something soon. And I... yes. Damn revenge. I guess you need a friend right now. And if it turns into more than that... then that's okay too." ********************* "Hiya Teach." Ranma said as he walked into his classroom. "Sorry about being late." He walked over and sat in a spare desk on one side of Akane. "Aren't you dead?" one of the boys blurted out, before he turned to the boy who had given the theory on what had happened to Ranma and Kunou. "Acid, huh?" The other boy shrugged, embarrassed, as Ukyou walked in and sat down on the other side of Akane, who was doing her best to hide P-chan from the teacher's roving eye. ********************* P-chan snarled as he looked at Ranma. The piglet was being carried by Akane as she, Ukyou, and Ranma made their way home. "Wow, he really doesn't like you, does he?" Ukyou asked, looking between the pig and Ranma. The piglet's response was to look at Ukyou, and snarl again. "You either, Ukyou." Akane said. "I guess you two just don't have the right touch with animals." "'S fine by me if the little fleabag doesn't like me." Ranma said, looking darkly at the pig. He shook his head slightly, wondering why exactly he didn't like the pig. There was something... no, the thoughts eluded him, he just didn't know why. "So no-one claimed him as a pet then?" Ukyou asked, making sure to keep her distance from the swine. The last time she'd got near the ungrateful little beast she had been bitten by the pig. The same thing had happened to Ranma when he'd tried to be semi-polite about Akane's pet by trying to pet it. Funnily enough, the small animal had not reacted like that to anyone else when Akane had been showing him around at lunch in an attempt to find out whose pet he was. "That's right." Akane answered. "I guess unless someone owns up to him, I'll keep him." The pig bweed as he snuggled up against her. "See, he's fine with me. Maybe he'll get used to you guys sooner or later." Akane looked down at her new pet. Nothing else bad had happened to her all day, and she'd even picked up a kawaii little pet. Today wasn't going to be as horrible as she'd thought after all. [I must have used up all my bad luck.] she thought as she looked down at P-chan. [Surely nothing else will go wrong for a while...] ********************* "At last!" Ryouga cried as he arrived at the outskirts of the city. "At last I made it! There's no hiding from me now, Ranma! Wherever it is you're holed up, I'll find you! Even if it takes searching the whole of Nerima! Wahahahahahahaha!!!" "Um... excuse me." a nearby street vendor said nervously. Ryouga cut his laughter off, looking embarrassed when he realised that he was being watched. "Yes, what is it?" "Did you say Nerima?" the vendor asked hesitantly. Ryouga nodded. "It's just that Nerima is in Tokyo." the vendor said. "Yes, I know that." Ryouga said impatiently. "What's your point?" "This is Hokkaido." the vendor replied. Ryouga blinked. He blinked again. Then he screamed in frustration. ***************************************************************************** ***************************************************************************** Ahhh.... and the cameos have started. What did you expect? I like throwing an occasional cameo in. Thought I'd start out easy this time, ease you all into the cameo bits. Don't worry though, the cameos won't happen all that often, just when I think I can milk a scene out of it... ^_^ (Oh, and any suggestions that I have Ranma and Luna as a couple will be treated with accordingly. {Where did I put that rusty, blunt knife?} :P ) Well, I guess it's time to get that Kodachi sidestory done. Till next time. ************ Mark Doherty - mdoherty@mailbox.uq.edu.au My fanfics and the Weekly FFML Synopses Lists are at: http://www.uq.edu.au/~zzhdoher "Kawaii must die."