It was late, really much later than you would expect Ranma to be up. And he wouldn't have been up, if it wasn't for Mariko. Mariko had been crying off and on all night. It had reached the point where Ranma didn't even feel like trying to go back to sleep, knowing it would be only a brief reprise until the baby cried again, bringing him back to the cradle. Instead, Ranma stayed in the room with his infant daughter, caring for her, and occasionally taking small catnaps in the corner.
At this moment, Ranma held his daughter in his arms. With a soft voice, perhaps more emotional than would be expected for a martial artist of his caliber, Ranma sang to Mariko.
"The woman rocks the cradle, And I swear she rules the home."
Ranma briefly paused, raised his daughter against his chest, and continued singing, a seeming determination entering his words.
"The woman rocks the cradle, And I swear she rules the home. Many man..."
Ranma didn't finish the song. It was a few minutes before he continued spoke again.
"I couldn't find your mommy."
Mariko couldn't respond, couldn't even understand. Ranma liked that. He wouldn't be talking if that wasn't the case.
"I looked for her. For hours. She wasn't with any of her friends. Auntie Ucchan hadn't seen her. She wasn't in the park."
"I earned her, dammit, I earned her! After what I did..." Ranma paused. Mariko was sound asleep. Ranma continued to bounce her, speaking to her in a calm voice.
"I think she's with another man. That can't be it. No, of course it is! What the hell would she be doing if it wasn't with another man!" Ranma's voice broke into what approached a yell, and the baby subsequently woke up.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Ranma continued to shake his daughter.
"Oh god. What if it's true? What do I do then?" Ranma was holding his daughter much the way one might hold a Teddy Bear. "What do I do? How can I live? How would we..." Ranma paused.
"At dinner, I asked her where she stayed last night."
"Yeah, that's right. Of course the whole family was shocked as hell, and of course Akane was flustered, but that was the point, really. I thought maybe if she was flustered, she'd answer me. You know what she did? You know what your mommy did?" Ranma was keeping his voice placid only with great determination.
"She argues. That's probably not a surprise to you. You know how angry she can get, how she loves to yell."
"So I get up, and I start to yell back. And she yells, and I yell, and we get stand up and start yelling at each other. And, you know, just out of habit, I get into Zenkutsu-dachi position. You know, it was just out of habit! I wasn't going to hit her or anything! I told her, she doesn't have to worry about that anymore..."
Ranma gradually loosened his hold upon the baby, and lifted her in front of his face. Ranma's arms were fully extended.
"What the hell am I telling you for?" There was a tone of disgust to his voice, a startling contrast to the nurturing tone he had just shown. "You're not even my baby! If you were my baby, why the hell would you have sharp teeth!" The baby started crying, screaming in frustration at being woken up, at the anger being expressed at her. Ranma noticed the baby's shrieks, but he didn't seem to care. He rose his voice, yelling right back at the baby.
"You think you can fucking yell at me? I care more about you than your slut mother, and you fucking yell at me?" The baby continued to cry. Ranma looked at her for a few seconds. And held her back to his body.
"Oh god, I'm sorry." He said. He rocked the baby against his body. "Oh god, I'm sorry. Oh god, I'm sorry. I don't mean it. I'm being stupid. I'm an idiot. Oh god, I'm sorry." Ranma eventually quieted Mariko.
"I don't mean it. Your....your mother. She sometimes gets me angry. I didn't mean it. It's my fault." The baby peacefully rested its head against Ranma's shoulder. Ranma waited a few minutes before talking.
"I'm being jealous. I'm being stupid and jealous. It wasn't Ryouga. It *can't* be Ryouga." Ranma paused, laughed smugly, and continued speaking in the same tone of voice. "It can't be Ryouga. They found his head by the bridge, but his body was never found." Ranma paused.
"Your mother's just trying to make me angry. She just wants to get in a fight, so she can bitch to Nabiki about me! She always does stuff like that. She's just trying to get me jealous! I'm not stupid!" Ranma was nearly yelling. He quieted his voice and continued.
"Let me...let me tell you a story. About how you were born."
"It might have always been like this. When you were...born, when your mother and I first...hooked up, I never would've guessed it."
"We fought. But it wasn't like now... It was more like a form of communication. We couldn't talk. We wanted to, but we couldn't. And then one day..." Ranma paused.
"One day, it was just this normal day. We had a silly little fight, over something that happened in our English class. Miss Hinako. I guess I was a little angry at Akane. It was something silly. We always argued over something silly." Ranma loosened his grip on his daughter.
"It was the same night. I went to her room. I don't know why. I usually didn't do that. I guess...I guess because I wanted to talk to her, and fight with her. And she...she came on to me. I never would have seen it coming. I didn't see it coming. And what was I supposed to do? I didn't know how to react. I was happy, I guess. I mean, it was something I had kind of dreamed of, but...it was a shock."
"It was only a few days later than Akane learned she was pregnant, and then our hand was, really, forced. Married at sixteen. Child at seventeen. I didn't see it coming. Never would have guessed it. All from a completely random fuck."
"And that's how we had you." Ranma paused and let out a weak chuckle, which he quickly stifled. "Remember that, 'cause I'll never explain it that way again." Almost as if in response, the baby giggled.
**
Hmmm...everybody else on this list has written at least eight darkfics, so I thought I'd toss another one in the bucket. I'm too happy of a person to try it again. ^_^ I don't know. This turned out OK. I think it can be improved, or I wouldn't have posted it.
I'm staying with the basic format (one scene, Ranma talking to a baby), but I'd appreciate all other C&C, and I'd also appreciate people telling me any neat ideas of things I should imply/mention. Thanks!
"That Crawling Baby Blues" is a song by the 20's blues musician Blind Lemon Jefferson. This story tries to capture some of the anxiety and self-hatred that Jefferson captured so well.
Jeff