"A Time for Giving"
by WebDragon

[Original Flavor?]

Ranma 1/2 = (C) of Shogakukan

                             A Time for Giving
                                        
     Ranma woke up in his futon with a sense of dread.  He
scratched his head as he stood up and looked out the window at the
snow covered garden, and the frozen pond, and the white-capped
cherry blossom tree.  The wooden floor felt cold and he constantly
kept shifting his feet to keep them warm.  On the floor beside his
futon his father snored, in panda form.  Sometimes, being a giant
panda had its advantages.  Like keeping warm, for one thing.

     He walked up and jumped on his father, burrowing his feet into
his fur.  If there was anything good about this useless father of his, it
was the fact that he could double between a rug or a punching bag as
needed, and he was a rug right now.  A black and white rug that
snored and moved.  Tiring of standing around doing nothing, Ranma
leapt off his father and made his way to the bathroom.  As he closed
the door behind him, that sense of *wrongness* settled onto him
again.  It tickled the hair on the back of his neck and sent a shiver
down his spine that was not connected with the temperature of the
hallway, which was frigid.  

     What could it possibly be?  He wondered that as he entered the
bathroom and did his morning activities.  He finished up and left the
bathroom - and he decided to go downstairs to see what Kasumi was
cooking.  Two large brown boxes sat in the living room, and green
stuff seemed to be coming out of them.  On closer inspection they
turned out to be artificial boughs of holly, with the little red berries
and everything that artificial boughs of holly should have.  Kasumi
must be housecleaning again, he thought.

     A small place had been cleared in one corner of the living room,
and a long cardboard box leaned semi-upright in that corner.  A
power cord extension lay coiled up beside small boxes that had what
seemed to be bulbs, or round fuzzy balls, in them.  Yup, she must be
housecleaning again, thought Ranma as he hugged himself for warmth
and walked over to the kitchen where someone seemed to be cooking
something.

     As he neared the kitchen he heard a loud cry issue from within
its boundaries, and a staccato chopping sound began to beat a rhythm
in the air.  He was one step from entering the kitchen when a piece
of something flew out.  Reacting quickly, Ranma caught the piece and
examined it.  It was a piece of....chopping board.  

     A...piece....of....chopping...board.  It was a few moments
before his sleep-fogged brain registered those five words and he
immediately pushed the drapes of the kitchen aside - and he beheld a
scene straight out of his nightmares.

     Akane was busily mutilating a defenceless carrot on the
chopping board with her knife, haphazardly hacking away at both
vegetable and board alike.  A bubbling sound drew his terrified gaze
to a large pot on the stove that had a piece of octopus tentacle
hanging over the edge while white bubbles frothed and churned inside
it, like something was still alive.  A microwave hummed and Ranma
was relieved to see that she didn't put unshelled eggs in the machine. 
His relief lasted until he realized that she was microwaving three
cartons of unopened milk, and he quickly pulled the plug.    

     Akane turned around and she smiled.

     "Morning, Ranma!  Come to see what delicious breakfast I'm
cooking?"  She gutted a potato with her knife and threw it into the pot
with a flick of her wrist, where all the action seemed to be coming
from.

     "Uhh...not really....", Ranma hesitated to speak his mind as
Akane could be quite ornery about comments regarding her cooking
ability.....wait.  Did that tentacle hanging over the pot twitch?  Just a
bit?  He nervously eyed the huge chopper in Akane's little hands and
he winced as she split a head of cabbage in two with it, grinning
gleefully as she took both hemispheres and tossed them into the pot.

     "Maybe you'd like to taste test the soup?  I took it straight out
of my mother's recipe book, which I followed *word for word*!"

     That didn't mean anything to Ranma, for he was sure Akane
could take the simplest recipe, follow it word for word, and still end
up transforming it into something out of a B movie.  Once she had
`followed' a recipe for miso soup, and forced a spoonful down his
throat, and the resulting concoction had him turning interesting shades
of purple and green.

     Then, not three days ago she had whipped up that toxic waste
she called `curry', no doubt referring to a little book of recipes
entitled "101 Ways to Torture Ranma" when she had cooked it.  She
had chased him around the house with a little pot of the stuff and a
big ladle for many harrowing minutes, yelling threats that ranged
from dislocating his shoulder to using the dreaded mallet if he didn't
eat it.  He was thankful for his ceiling-cling technique, which had
saved his life on many occasions, but he had been forced to crawl
around the house on the ceiling all day like a giant roach.

     "Umm...sorry, Akane.  I...gotta go train, you know? 
Uh...gotta keep in shape and all that.  Seeya!"  He did a perfect 180
and began to run away, but a hand latched onto his nightshirt collar
and dragged him back into the little shop of culinary horrors.

     "Oh no, you don't!  You're going to drink my soup and that's
that!"

     "B-but, Akane!!  I'm sure it must taste very good!  I mean,
you've put so many ingredients in it that it has gotta be good, right?" 
Ranma was trying his hardest to worm his way out of her grip. 

     "Yep!  I put vinegar, soy sauce, white wine, mayonnaise, sugar,
whole pepper corns, an octopus, carrots, some hard brown stuff that
was in with the carrots, and a head of lettuce!"  She sounded proud of
herself, and more than a little happy at Ranma's compliment, but her
grip didn't loosen at all.

     "That sounds good!  Can't wait!  Now, can I go and train?"

     "But you must be *very* hungry, Ranma.  Try a bowl.  Come
on!"  She dragged a helpless Ranma to the pot and she scooped out a
bowlful of the soup.  Meanwhile Ranma squirmed desperately in
Akane's grip, but Akane took it as a sign of him being anxious to
drink her soup and she thrust a steaming bowl of....stuff into his
hands.  

     "Drink it!"  It was an encouragement.  Ranma looked dubiously
at the leaves of lettuce floating along with little bits of carrot and
chopping board in a primordial ooze of vinegar, soy sauce, white
wine and melted mayonnaise.  Did she mention putting water as one
of the ingredients for the soup?  Ranma thought back to her
words...and he shuddered in fear.  A soup *without* water?!  Just
how much vinegar did she substitute for water anyhow?!  

     "Drink it!!!"  It was a command now.  "It's just a lousy bowl of
soup!  Besides, I'm sure you'll be happy to know that Kasumi is
already at the market buying food for tonight's Christmas dinner
and...."

     Akane's words sank in.  Christmas?  It was Christmas?  His
feeling of dread came back, multiplied tenfold.  Oh no.  Oh no!!  So
that's what the boxes in the living room were for!  They were the
Christmas decorations!

     "Ranma?  What's wrong?  Why're you looking so pale all of a
sudden....?"

     "Akane...", he quickly put the bowl of soup on the kitchen
counter and he began to stride out of the kitchen, "...I gotta go
somewhere.  Right now."

     "Where?!  And you haven't finished your soup yet!"  She was
being dragged out of the kitchen by Ranma, whose face was set in a
mask of determination.  She tried to stop him with her feet but he
kept going, regardless.  "Ranma!!  Where are you going?!"

     "Somewhere as far away from here as possible, Akane."

     "Why?"  Akane let Ranma go and she looked at him as he was
bounding up the stairs with a bit of fear in her voice.  Good, thought
Ranma, Akane now knew how serious he was about getting out.   

     "Trust me, Akane.  You don't wanna know."  Ranma knew
Akane would find out pretty soon after he left but he wanted to be as
far away from the centre of conflict as he could possibly get.  Maybe
he could go over to Hiroshi's house or....wait.  That won't work. 
Alright, he might have to lose himself at the mall or somewhere. 
He'll figure it out.

     "Why don't you tell me, Ranma?"  Akane was following him up
the stairs when she suddenly remembered the food she was cooking
and she ran back to the kitchen.  Ranma wasted no time in grabbing
this window of opportunity and he burst into his room.  His father
was still sleeping but Ranma only had eyes for his clothing, his
backpack and an umbrella for it was snowing outside.  He had to get
out!

     He was dressed in mere seconds and he tore out of his room. 
Bounding down the stairs in one leap, Ranma ran for the door - and
freedom.  He felt himself turned around by a delicate hand and he
looked down to see Akane looking up at him.  

     "Ranma!  Tell me what's the matter!  Why do you have to leave
so suddenly?"

     "No time, Akane!  No time!  Gotta go *right now*!" With that
Ranma tore the door open - and he fell back as something soft with
lavender hair attached itself to him and bore him to the ground,
giving him a passionate hug and a seductive snuggle.

     "Ni hao, Ranma!!  Merry Christmas!!  Shampoo have gift for
you in Nekohanten!!  You come spend Christmas eve with Shampoo,
no?"

     He was too late.  He didn't escape in time.

                              * * *

     Akane stared in gape-mouthed astonishment as Shampoo
snuggled against Ranma's chest and purred - like a cat.  Like a cat. 
She reached for the bucket of cold water by the side of the door -
strange how many buckets they had lying around the house at
*convenient* times and places, and she emptied its contents over
them both.

     "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

     Ranma-chan took to the air, her arms and legs moving in a blur
as the cat that was Shampoo wrapped herself around Ranma-chan's
shoulders like a scarf, screaming bloody murder all the while.  Akane
watched Ranma-chan hop around in absolute terror when Shampoo-
neko licked the base of her neck ever-so-gently.  Finally tiring of
watching Ranma-chan go hysterical with fright, Akane opened the
front door and she waited until Ranma-chan ran in front of the
doorway.  Then, swinging her mallet like a golf club, she whacked
both Ranma-chan and Shampoo-neko out of the house and into the air
- whereupon they disappeared from view as they entered the mists
that hung over houses' chimneys.

     Serves him right!  Here she was, taking time out of her busy
Christmas schedule to cook him a meal, and he was about to go out
on a date with Shampoo!  Ooh, he made her so mad sometimes!  

     She stomped back to the kitchen and she finished her cooking. 
Then she laid the pot of soup on the table and she waited for the rest
of the family to wake up.  The minutes ticked past with alacrity and
still no sign of her father, Nabiki or Mr. Saotome.  The steam from
the soup began to dwindle to a thin wisp of vapor.  Akane fiddled
with the corner of a napkin and she began to calm down - and she
thought about how much more wonderful it would be if Ranma were
only more considerate of her.  Which would happen in a million
years, an inner voice told her.  Akane sighed and she folded her legs
beneath her.  Might as well taste test the soup myself, she thought. 
She scooped a small amount and she put it into a bowl.  Then she
sipped at it carefully.  
     
     Words were not enough to describe the way the bitter soup
seemed to crawl down her throat and burn her mouth and the insides
of her nostrils with its acidic touch, and she ran for the bathroom,
whereupon she spat out her mouthful and began to flush her mouth
with cold water.  What had she done wrong this time?!  

     She still had a bit of aftertaste in her mouth when she reread the
recipe from her mother's cookbook.  Let's see, she thought.  Soy
sauce, carrots, potatoes....wait a minute.  Where did it say for her to
put white wine or vinegar in it?  She could have sworn it did.  And
where did that reference to `whole octopus' and `mayonnaise' go?! 
Did she or didn't she use water as one of her ingredients?!!

                              * * *

     Ranma-chan staggered through the streets of Nerima, using a
stick for support as she sloshed her way through brown slush on her
way back to the Tendo Dojo.  She just *knew* it was going to
happen!  Either Shampoo, Ukyo or Kodachi, or all of them, would
show up at the Tendo doorstep to wish him a merry Christmas in an
*intimate* way - thereby drawing the wrath of Akane on his head.  If
it wasn't the girls who chase after him day and night, it would be
Ryoga, seeking revenge for the smallest thing.  And if it wasn't
Ryoga, it would be Mousse or Kuno - with pretty much the same
intentions for him in mind.  Ranma-chan shuddered to think of all six
martial artists converging on the Tendo Dojo at once.....

     She opened the door and she saw Ukyo sitting by the living
room table and sipping at a cup of hot tea.  An okonomiyaki takeout
box sat on the table.  She was about to greet Ukyo when she heard
the sounds of furious cooking coming from the kitchen.  Akane was
cooking again.  If she accepted the okonomiyaki from
Ukyo...then....Akane....

     "Ran-chan!!  You're back at last!  Here, try this new
okonomiyaki recipe I made for Christmas!"  She smiled and held the
takeout box to Ranma-chan, who nervously looked back and forth
between it and the kitchen.  

     "Ucchan....not right now....!" pleaded Ranma-chan as she sat
down at the table and took a deep breath.  Bad mistake, since she was
VERY hungry and the okonomiyaki sure smelt nice....

     "Alright, Ran-chan.  I'll give this with you, and I gotta go back
to the Ucchan because it's gonna be *real* busy pretty soon, but I
plan to close at about eight tonight."  

     "That sounds nice, Ucchan."  There was a pause.

     "Ran-chan?"  Ukyo voice was faint and uncertain.

     "Yeah?"

     "Will you.....will you spend Christmas eve...with me?  I've got
a present waiting for you in the Ucchan....and I really want you to
have it."  She sounded hopeful and embarrassed at once.

     Ranma-chan took the tea kettle on the table and poured the hot
water over herself.  Ranma felt his heart pounding, not out of
excitement but because he was afraid.  He wasn't planning on
spending Christmas eve with Ukyo, and he did not intend to.  One
could only be at one place at a time, and he wanted to be *right
here*.  He looked up and saw Ukyo with both hands clasped together
tightly, so tight that the tip of her fingers made white circles on the
back of her hands, and she seemed to be hanging on what he was
going to say.  

     He had to say something, and fast, but he didn't want to make
any promises that he didn't intend to keep.  He did not want to hurt
Ukyo by tricking her or making false promises.  If he promised
something to Ukyo, he will give it, and that was keeping him from
uttering a single word in haste. 

     Ranma fidgeted and looked away from Ukyo, not daring to look
in her eyes.  He wanted Ukyo to get impatient, or angry, so he could
have a reason to get up and leave without making any promises, but
she didn't lose her cool.  Neither moved for long minutes - until
Akane stormed out of the kitchen with a plateful of fried stuff.

     "At last!  I finally got it right!  Dad!!  Nabi....oh!  Ukyo! 
When did you get here?"

     Ukyo lost her cool and her face scrunched up in anger.  She
slowly stood up with the okonomiyaki takeout box in hand, and she
walked over to Ranma, who waited for the huge spatula to come out
and whack him.  It never came, but the takeout box did.  She gave it
to Ranma.

     "Here, Ran-chan.  Compliments of the Ucchan.  I'll...I'll
*hope* to see you in the *Ucchan* at eight o'clock, if you decide to
come that is.  If not, then I'll....see you later."  Her eyes darted to
Akane for a split second - then she patted Ranma's shoulder and she
left with a fling of her long brown hair.

     Ranma looked down at the okonomiyaki takeout box in his
hands, the damning piece of evidence as it were.  At least it seemed
that way to Akane, who stood before the table with the plate of fried
stuff in her hands, her eyes narrowed so that her eyebrows made a
small `v'.

     "I...guess you're not hungry, Ranma.  I hope you enjoy your
okonomiyaki."

     "Akane!  She just gave it to me!  I never asked for it...!"

     "But you're still going to eat it, right?"  

     Before Ranma could reply to that, a section of the living room
floor exploded upwards and Ryoga climbed out of the wreckage of
wood pieces.  Ranma clutched his head in despair.  First Shampoo,
then Ukyo, and now Ryoga.  Come one, come all.

     "N-now where am I?!", he cried in despair.  He looked around
in desperation and he noticed Akane and Ranma.  "Huh?  I...I must
be dreaming!  This can't be the Tendo Dojo!  Last time I checked I
was in the deepest, darkest wilds of Japan...."  He trailed off as he
slumped on the living room floor, unconscious.

     "R-Ryoga?"  Akane laid the plate on the table and she made her
way over to Ryoga.  "Ryoga?!"  He stirred a little.

     "I...I must be luckier than I thought.  Dying of starvation....and
I still manage to hear your voice, Akane.  Now...I can die a happy
man...."

     Ranma snorted and Akane cast him a look that said `be quiet,
baka'.

     "Ryoga!!  This is not a dream!  I'm right here!"  Akane shook
Ryoga's shoulder and he opened his eyes.  He slowly sat up.

     "A-Akane?!  Then this really is the Tendo Dojo?!  I've made it! 
I've made it!!  A-Akane...before I faint again...could I trouble you
for a bit of food?  I've been travelling for days...no, weeks!  And my
food had run out five days ago and now I think I'm dying of
starvation...."

     "No problem, Ryoga!  Try some of my fried shrimp!"  She
grabbed the plate on the table and gave it to Ryoga.  So that's what
the fried stuff was.  It was shrimp, Akane style..... - Ranma sat up in
shock and he reached out to Ryoga, to warn him.  Too late, Ryoga
had already devoured five shrimp pieces and he was already reaching
for a sixth when his body caught up to his mind.  He looked at the
plate of fried shrimp in horror, and his eyes began to bulge
dangerously.  Ranma watched Ryoga struggle to retain control, so he
might not throw up or faint, then a surge of willpower and Ryoga
swallowed his food and panted for air.  Akane watched anxiously.

     "I...I guess I put too much vinegar on them.  I'm sorry,
Ryoga."

     "No...!  It was....ex-excellent!  Never have I tasted anything so
delicious in my whole entire life, Akane!!"  Then, to stave off further
offers of her fried shrimp, Ryoga dug into his pack and pulled out a
little bag of gifts, over which Akane squealed in delight.

     Ranma growled slightly under his breath.  Ryoga had the money
to buy so many gifts for Akane, while *he* had not a single penny to
his name.  In fact, he owed Nabiki five thousand yen, which she said
he had to pay off by Christmas or she would make him turn female
and pose for semi-nude pics.  That uneasy feeling sunk its claws into
him again and he looked about uneasily.  Today *was*
Christmas...so......  

     He heard a door open on the second floor, and the tap-tap of
mink slippers sounded to him like the ticking of a great, big
doomsday clock.  Nabiki.  It had to be Nabiki.  She would be coming
down pretty soon.  Ranma got up to leave again, and he managed to
sneak to the front door without Akane or Ryoga noticing.  He opened
the door.

     And the sounds of merry laughter echoed through the
neighbourhood and into the Tendo household.  Well, not exactly
merry laughter - more like *maniacal* laughter.  It was a spine-
chilling blend of an arrogant male voice and a psychotic female voice,
and it made Ranma's pigtail stand on end.  Kodachi and Kuno!  They
had just been outside the door and were about to knock when Ranma
opened it.  Come one, come all indeed!

     "Ranma darling!!  A merry Christmas to you!!  Where are you
going?" said Kodachi in greeting.  Her right hand clutched a tape
recorder and a tape, while her left hand held a fur-trimmed bag on
her back.

     "I'm...uh....."

     "Truly it is the cretinous wretch, Ranma Saotome, who is
nothing in the glorious might of the great Tatewaki Kuno.  Where,
Ranma Saotome?  Where has thou hidst the pigtailed goddess?! 
Surely she must be delighted that the one love in her life has come to
greet her a merry Christmas, for I bear her gifts from lands afar!"

     "Kuno..!  If you've nothing better to do than to give me this
speech, then would you get outta my way?!  I'm trying to get
through, here!"  Ranma began to push Kuno aside but he didn't
budge.

     "Lecherous fiend!!  You hold the goddess in pigtails in
captivity, taking photos of her and selling them through Nabiki
Tendo!!  You, who hold her freedom in your hand, make a profit off
her body, and no doubt you take her body when you feel like it, and
you *dare* to imply that I'm insulting you?!  Insults become
compliments to one of your ilk and Tatewaki Kuno is insulted that
you take his insults to be insults, when they were meant to be
compliments!"

     "Looks like you just tripped yourself up in your words, Kuno
baby."  It was Nabiki and she was standing just behind Ranma with a
flask of cold water in her hand and a camera in the other.  Akane and
Ryoga were just coming to join Nabiki at the door when Kodachi held
up the tape recorder and inserted the tape.  Ranma had a bad feeling
about the way Kodachi smiled as she put a finger on the play button.
     
     "Ranma darling....come spend Christmas eve with me!  The
Kuno estate is overflowing with wealth and we can have such a
*good* time together!  Besides, I have a gift for you already!"

     "What makes you think I'm gonna spend Christmas eve with
you?!" said Ranma angrily, but he still eyed the tape recorder
fearfully.  What was on that tape that could make Kodachi smile so? 
Kodachi did not miss that and she beckoned him with one finger, like
she already owned him body and soul.  

     "Why don't you and I go somewhere...private?  I'm sure you
want to hear what's on this tape.....or do you prefer that I play it in
the presence of others?" she said with a smirk.  Ranma was on the
way out already, his heart racing as he wondered about the contents
of that tape.

     "Ranma!!  Where do you think you're going?!" cried Akane as
Ranma turned his back and began to leave the Tendo household with
Kodachi.  Akane began to reach out to Ranma, to pull him back.

     "Oh, Akane Tendo!!  How thy beauty shines ever brighter with
the fair glow of the morning sun upon thy face!  I bear thee gifts
from lands afar!!  Come to me, my love!!" Having cried his battle
cry, Kuno threw himself on Akane and hugged her tight.

     Ranma neither heard nor saw Kuno hugging Akane, but he
heard a loud explosion and he witnessed the `Blue Thunder' flying the
friendly skies over the rooftops of houses, taking the same route as he
and Shampoo-neko had this morning.  With a leap he soared upwards
and landed on the Tendo roof with Kodachi.

     "Alright, Kodachi.  If this is one of your blackmail things
then....", threatened Ranma.  Kodachi giggled insanely and she held
the tape recorder up.

     "Blackmail?  Moi?" With that, Kodachi pressed the button on
the tape recorder.

     <Oh, Ranma darling!  Take me now!>  That was Kodachi and
Ranma feared what was yet to come....

     <Kodachi darling!!  Yes I will!>  Ranma's jaw hung open. 
That sounded *exactly* like him!  That was his voice with all the
tones and everything!  

     <Let us do it now, Ranma darling!!  Let us.....do it!> 
Kodachi s smirk grew wider.

     <Kodachi darling!!  We are forever bound together with the
bonds of love and with this act of love, our ties are ever
strengthened!!> 

     *Wait* a minute.  He didn't ever speak like that!  

     Kodachi saw the look on his face. "The wonders of technology
never cease to amaze me, Ranma sweetums.  Vary the pitch and tone
of any voice....and voila!  Instant Ranma!"

     Moving faster than Kodachi could see, Ranma grabbed the tape
and recorder and he crushed it in his hands.  Then he tossed the metal
ball into the air and he unleashed a Mouko Takabisha at it.  Blue
bolts of energy coalesced in his hands and shot out, twirling together
into a blast that burned the air and completely vaporized the metal
ball that had been the tape recorder and tape.  His hands still
smoking, Ranma turned back to Kodachi.

     "Ranma darling!!  You should have learnt by now that I have
oodles upon oodles of tapes in reserve!!" Kodachi began to laugh
maniacally as she opened the bag on her back and presented it to
Ranma.  It was full of tapes.  Her peals of demented laughter rang
through the snow covered neighbourhood like bells as Ranma grabbed
the bag and stared into it with horror.  A contained Mouko Takabisha
fused all the tapes into a shapeless mass in the bag and he tossed it
over his shoulder to the ground.  

     "Kodachi!!  Give me all the tapes!!" Ranma knew there was
little chance in Kodachi actually obeying him but he had to try
anyway.

     *WHACK*

     "What was that sound?" Ranma looked about nervously. 
Whatever it was, it was loud and it had sounded like two rocks being
slammed together.

     "Sounds like a heavy bag hitting somebody's head," commented
Kodachi as she looked over the edge of the house.

     "What makes you say that?" asked Ranma.  Kodachi pointed
over the edge of the roof and Ranma followed her finger.  Ryoga lay
sprawled out on the ground, his eyes crossed and Ranma's missile
weapon by the side of his bruised head.  Akane crouched over him in
concern, feeling his head and calling his name.
     
     "Uh-oh", Ranma said intelligently when Akane turned her gaze
up to the roof, and it came to rest on him.

     "Ranma!!!  Just wait till I get you!!"  Akane leapt as high as she
could but her fingers barely brushed the edge of the roof.  Akane was
hopping mad, literally and figuratively!

     "Akane..!  It-it's not my fault!"  Ranma held his hands out in a
plea of innocence but Akane wouldn't hear any of it.  Ryoga regained
consciousness and he sat up looking about - then he looked up at
Ranma, then down at the bag that had hit him, and he shot to his feet
in anger.

     "Ranma!!!  Just wait till I get you!!  I'm gonna give it to you so
bad....!"  Ryoga bunched his legs up and took to the air in a leap
kick at Ranma, who barely dodged it with a swirl of his pigtail.  

     "Look, Ryoga!  I'm sorry already!  None of this would have
happened if Kodachi didn't......."

     "Save your breath for the fight, Ranma!!"  Ryoga lashed out
with a kick and Ranma dodged it again.  That was close.  Just an
inch closer and he would have been sent flying off the roof.  Then he
felt himself being grabbed from behind.

     "Ranma sweetums!!  You WILL come over to the Kuno estate
for Christmas eve, won't you?"  Kodachi was clinging to Ranma's
back and hampering his movements.  Ryoga punched at him and
Ranma blocked the strike.  

     "Wretched Ranma Saotome!!  Feel the wrath of the Blue
Thunder of Furinkan High!!  Thou hast poisoned the mind of Akane
against me, and pay dearly you must!!"  Kuno had joined in the fray
with his bokken.

     "Ranma!!"  It was Akane.  She had gotten a ladder and thereby
gained access to the roof.  Now she was eyeing Ranma and Kodachi
dangerously, shinai in hand.  "Are you two *close* enough yet?!" 

     "Who?!  You mean Kodachi?!  SHE jumped ME!!"  Ranma
twirled and just missed being whacked by Kuno's bokken, then he
doubled up under Ryoga's knee attack, which he replied to with a
punch to Ryoga's gut.  

     "Damn you, Ranma!!  Stand still!"

     "Ranma Saotome, you scurrilous fiend!!  Taste the wrath of my
avenging bokken!!"
     
     "Ranma darling, I'm so glad you agreed to spend Christmas eve
with me!!  We'll listen to this tape over and over!!"  Kodachi held up
a tape and Ranma tried to snatch it with his teeth, but he failed. 
Akane's face went stormy.

     "Christmas eve!?  Tape?!  Ranma.....!!!"

     "Akane.....!"  Ranma pleaded as he broke Kuno's bokken with
his Kachuu Tenshin fist and elbowed Ryoga in the ribs.  Ryoga
retaliated with an elbow strike to Ranma's head, which he took in
stride.  Kuno pulled out another bokken.

     "Ranma!!"  Gee, was he ever popular or what?  He recognized
that voice as Shampoo's as she crash landed her bike near Ranma.  It
was inevitable.  The commotion on the roof was sure to attract any
stray, or missing martial artists.....and speaking of which....Ranma
looked up to see Mousse riding a flying bicycle aimed for his head. 
He quickly twisted out of the way, but he bumped into Shampoo -
who immediately latched onto him like a cling-on.

     "Ranma Saotome, how dare you entice my bride-to-be away
with your foul tricks!  I bring you the gift of death you so rightly
deserve!!"  

     "I'm not Ranma Saotome, you bespectacled cretin!!"  That was
Kuno.

     "Ranma!!  How dare you ignore me in a fight!!"  That was
Ryoga.

     "Ranma Saotome!  Get your butt in my room where I can take
photos in *repayment* for the *money* you *owe* me!!  Consider it
a gift from me that I had postponed collecting from you until today!" 
That was Nabiki, calling from the ground.  He glanced down and he
saw that she was holding a *really* skimpy two-piece bikini in one
hand, along with a bottle of water.

     "Ranma sweetums!!" 

     "Ranma!  Wo de airen!!"  

     "Ranma no baka!!!!"  Three guesses for who THAT could be!

     Ranma felt like he was in the centre of a madhouse where
everyone was chanting his name over and over, like a litany or a
prayer.  Everyone clawed at him, and everybody sought to pull him
down into the depths of their madness.  Everywhere he turned, he
either encountered a fist, or the tip of a bokken, or a tape held out in
front of him like a carrot is held out to a horse, or an amorous
Amazon, or a slew of sharp cutlery with lengths of rope attached to
their ends, or the sight of Nabiki holding up the bikini and calling
loudly to him.

     Yet, none of these sights could compare to that of Akane
advancing on him with the shinai in her hands and fury in her eyes. 
No, Akane!!  Not you too!!  Ranma did not want to see Akane
joining in the feeding frenzy that was taking place on the rooftop!

     With a cry that halted everyone in their tracks and stunned
passersby with its primal intensity and sheer frustration, frustration
born out of not being able to do anything to help his situation, Ranma
tore Kodachi off his back and bounded away on the rooftops of
houses, disappearing into the white mist and the growing snowstorm.  

                                   * * *

     "Ranma!!"  It was said at the same time with such precision that
it sounded like one huge voice.  Everyone on the roof took off in
Ranma's general direction, on foot or on bicycles.  Everyone except
Akane, who stood stock still - and remembered the look Ranma had
cast her before uttering his cry to the heavens and taking off.  And
she thought long, and hard about it and its meaning.

     It had been so...so...helpless and unhappy.  Almost as if
everything that was happening to him was because of others, and not
by his design.  Helpless to prevent the events of the day from
happening, and unhappy that he had to endure it all.  <So that's why
he wanted to get out of the house!>, she thought to herself.  It
hadn't been a date with Shampoo at all, or because of her cooking, or
because he had wanted to spend Christmas eve with the other girls. 
It suddenly struck her how uncaring she had been, how unwilling to
listen to Ranma's protests.  She had read in his eyes that he would
rather take all the punishment Ryoga, Kuno, Mousse, Shampoo,
Kodachi and Nabiki can dish out rather than accept a whack from her
shinai.  She dropped the weapon, where it rolled down the roof and
over the edge, striking the ground with a sharp crack.  And she had
been so close to joining in the fight, too.  Her jealousy, and anger,
sometimes took precedence over her logic.

     A small, rectangular object lay near Akane's feet and she picked
it up.  It was a tape.  Kodachi had been harping on and on about the
tape....and Akane wondered what could possibly be on it to have
made Ranma so scared and Kodachi so triumphant.  She stuffed it
into her pocket.  She could listen to it later, if she wanted to.

     She descended on the ladder and she put it away.  She left the
shinai where it was, letting it get covered up by the snow.  Akane
didn't care.

     She checked with Nabiki and found out that the adults of the
household were out somewhere, but Kasumi had set the tree and the
decorations up while the fight on the roof had been taking place.  Her
dad, Mr. Saotome, Kasumi and Mrs. Saotome.  Akane wondered how
people would take to seeing a giant panda following her dad, Kasumi
and Mrs. Saotome around......

     The hours passed swiftly, and the snowstorm grew heavier.  It
was already seven thirty before she knew it and it was pitch dark
outside, but the white of the blowing snow made for a stark contrast
against the black background of night.  She sat and watched TV with
Nabiki in silence, her eyes on the screen but her mind on the pigtailed
form that had disappeared, like a wraith, over the rooftops with five
martial artists in hot pursuit.  The phone rang and Akane picked it
up.

     "Hello, Tendo residence."  

     "H-hello, Akane?"  It was Ukyo, and she sounded half hopeful
and half tired.

     "Ukyo.  How can I help you?"  Why was Ukyo calling?  And at
this time?  Could it be about what she had said to him earlier today?

     "I-is Ranma there?"  

     "No, he's not.  He ran off since this morning and I don't know
where he is, or when he will be back."  She just *knew* it.  Ukyo
WAS calling about that conversation she had with Ranma.

     "I see."  There was a long pause.  "A-Akane?"

     "Yeah?"

     "I was...wondering.  If Ranma doesn't come back....then would
you like to come over and spend Christmas eve with me?  It gets
kinda lonely around here after I close....and I wouln't mind having
you over.  If that's ok with you."

     What?  Ukyo was asking her to come over and keep her
company during Christmas Eve?  Akane suddenly felt ashamed about
her thoughts about Ukyo.

     "I...I wouldn't mind, Ukyo.  I'll wait until nine, then if he
doesn't come back by then, I'll come over."

     "Thanks, Akane.  Look, I have to go.  I have a whole line of
hungry customers to feed and I have to hustle up the okonomiyaki
double time, or else.  Well, sorry to bother you, Akane."  Ukyo hung
up.  Akane hung up too.  She couldn't help but feel a little sorry for
Ukyo.  She would be working until eight o'clock, all alone in the
Ucchan, then she has to clean up after.  Then she might be too tired
to go anywhere but to her room to sleep.  In short, her whole night
was shot.  

     Nabiki got up in a short while after the phone call and she
stretched her body.

     "Akane, are you gonna go to bed?" asked Nabiki.

     "No.  I'm...I'll be here, watching TV."

     "Alright, suits me.  When Ranma comes back, tell him that he
owes me an extra two thousand yen for all this trouble.  Night." 
Nabiki turned on her heel and went to her room.

     Akane turned back to the TV, her mind awhirl.  The howl of
the wind penetrated the monotone of the program and it reminded her
how cold and chilling it was outside, and she found herself wondering
if Ranma had a jacket on.  Last time she looked, he didn't.  She
wondered where in Nerima he could be, and she wished for his
safety.  The house settled with a frightening creak that made her jump
in fright and reach for the shinai - but her hand encountered empty
space.  Then she remembered that she had left the weapon outside.

     She turned the TV off and she checked the clock.  It was now
five to eight.  Her eyes wandered all over the living room, looking
for something to do to keep her from falling asleep - for she did not
want to fall asleep now.  

     Not when her heart was in turmoil and guilt shredding at her
soul mercilessly.  She pulled out the tape from her pocket and she
wondered if she should listen to it.  Whatever it was, it had to be
something important.  She held it for a moment longer, then she laid
it beside her.  

     The okonomiyaki takeout box was still there; no doubt the food
was cold and hard by now.  Akane wondered about Ukyo's parting
words this morning, and she glanced at her watch.  It was eight
o'clock.  The Ucchan would be closed by now.  Ukyo would be
starting to close the Ucchan up now.

     <Ranma...come back....>, she thought as she rested her head
on her hands, to wait for Ranma's return.
                                   - - -
     Akane woke up from her dozing state with a start.  It was the
back door.  It had just been opened ever so softly, but Akane could
still hear the sound of the coasters moving in their metal ruts.  The
door closed slowly, and as quietly as possible.  

     Her heart pounding in fear, since nobody used the back door to
gain entrance to the house as there was no mat to put the
snowcovered shoes on, Akane grabbed the table and hefted it over her
head.  Where was Ranma when she needed him?!  Then she tip-toed
over to the kitchen opening and she held her weapon aloft, ready to
strike.  No thief was going to steal from the Tendos and live to talk
about it!!  A shape emerged from the kitchen, creeping stealthily.

     With a cry, Akane brought the table crashing towards the
intruder, fully expecting to feel the table smashing the thief to the
ground.  The dark shape dodged out of the way of the table and leapt
straight up, to cling on the ceiling.

     "Akane!!  It's me!!  Ranma!!"

     "R-Ranma?!"  Akane lowered the table to the floor and she
flicked the light switch.  Ranma was looking down at Akane in fear,
his pigtail pointing at her in accusation.

     "S-sorry to scare you like that, but....I didn't want to be seen
coming in."  Ranma had many bruises to his face, and he looked
haggard, but he was otherwise none the worse for wear.

     "T-that's alright, Ranma.  Come on down." 

                                   * * *

     Ranma detached himself from the ceiling and landed on his feet
on the floor.  Akane seemed rather meek now, not at all like the
angry girl who had sent him flying this morning and nearly attacked
him with the shinai.  He took no chances, however.  

     "Well...um...goodnight, Akane."  He turned his back on her
and began to return to his room.  Though he was glad that she had
calmed down, he wished that she might at least see *his* position for
once and come to understand what he went through most of the time. 
It's not his fault that the girls fight over him tooth and claw, not
intentionally anyways, and sometimes he wished that he had never
heard of Ryoga, Kuno or Mousse.  

     There were some days, and some instances, when he wanted to
forget about the Tendo Dojo and the craziness it seemed to attract,
but something kept pulling him back.  Something, or someone, was
the anchor force that prevented him from remaining in despair for too
long.  Akane.

     Even accounting for her violent outbursts of temper, he had to
admit to himself that the incidences of her helping him do things he
would otherwise not be able to accomplish outweighed her bad points. 
True, she was stubborn, and temperamental, and jealous...but she
was....was....Ranma looked at Akane from the corner of his
eyes...she was indifferent to his plight.  Though he had been put
through eleven different kinds of hell today, she didn't seem to worry
about his bruises and scratches like she usually did.  In fact, she
seemed to be focusing all of her attention on her hands, which were
twirling a small, rectangular and flat object......

     Ranma's eyes widened momentarily, and his heart pulsed faster. 
The tape.  It was the tape that Kodachi had taunted him with.  Had
she listened to it?  Ranma reasoned that she must have - what else
could account for her carefully neutral mask?  It probably hid a
volcano's worth of anger beneath the calm surface, ready to erupt all
over him.  

     "Ranma?"  

     Ranma cringed.  This was it.

     "What's on this tape?"

     Ranma blinked.  She...she didn't know?  Didn't she listen to it? 
He looked at her face, and it was serious.  She wasn't lying.  Ranma
swallowed and he prepared to tell the truth.  If she wasn't lying to
him, and he was very sure she was telling the truth, then he couldn't
betray her trust in him by fabricating a lie about the tape's contents. 
He took a deep breath, then he plunged in.

     "It..it's a `love conversation' between a computer generated
voice that sounds like me, and Kodachi.  I...I didn't want you to hear
it...cuz I was afraid you would...you know...."

     "Know what?"

     "Afraid that you would take it at face value.  Kodachi made it,
not me."

     "You're sure?  You're not pulling my leg, are you?"

     "Akane, I'm....hurt."  He did feel some pang in his heart when
Akane said that, almost like she still didn't trust him even after he
revealed what was on the tape.

     "I'm sorry, Ranma.  That wasn't quite...fair of me.  I...want
you to know that...I didn't even play the tape.  It's not that I wasn't
afraid to, it's just that I wanted to hear...your side of the story before
I..."

     "Play it?  G-go ahead, Akane.  What's it matter anyway? 
You're still gonna get mad no matter what."  His last sentence was an
accusation and he saw Akane wince a bit. 

     "IDIOT!  I was gonna destroy it, not play it!  Here!!"  Akane
threw it on the ground and she stamped a foot on it, grinding it to
little bits of plastic and ruined tape material.  

     Ranma stared in silence, his mind only just catching up to what
had just transpired.  Akane had destroyed the tape rather than listen
to it, even though she must be dying to hear it.  

     "W-why?  Aren't...I mean...weren't you going to play it?  To
see if I was telling the truth?"

     "I..don't need to listen to it.  I have your word for it, and I
know it's true.  I don't know why I even asked you if you were
pulling my leg - force of habit, I guess."

     "T-thanks, Akane, for believing me.  I..I really hate it when
Kodachi does that sort of thing."  Ranma lingered a moment longer,
then he began to slump off to his room.

     "Nabiki said you owe her an extra two thousand yen on top of
your current amount owing."

     "Big surprise.  She did warn me beforehand, but today was not
a good Christmas for me.  I...guess I gotta wear less, as a girl that is,
to make more money, right?"  Ranma shook his head and he began to
leave again.  

     "Ranma.  Come with me."

     "Why?"

     "Just come with me."

     Akane led Ranma to her room, and Ranma watched as Akane
pulled out her purse.  She counted out seven thousand yen and she
handed it to Ranma.  He looked at the money as one might look
at a viper.

     "M-Merry Christmas, Ranma", Akane said with a smile on her
face.

     "Akane...I appreciate the thought, really I do, but....I
don't...like charity."  

     "Who said it was charity, Ranma?  I forgot to buy a Christmas
present for you, since I've been....home...the whole day, and this IS
your Christmas present."

     "Uh.....seven thousand yen?  For a Christmas present?"

     "No, not the money.  It's...freedom.  I give you your freedom
from Nabiki in the form of seven thousand yen.  I was thinking of
getting you three or four new shirts, or something like that, but I
realized that there was something more important than new clothing. 
It's your pride, and your dignity.  You don't like posing for Nabiki,
and you *hate* seeing yourself in Kuno's `pig-tailed goddess' picture
book, and you *really hate* it when Hiroshi or Daisuke or other guys
get the wrong idea of you when they look at pics of your female
side."  She paused for a moment.  "I...I want to free you from that. 
Until you get into debt again, that is, and I won't be there to bail you
out again.  My purse only runs so deep, you know."

     Ranma regarded Akane for a long moment.  She really meant it. 
She really did.  Ranma reached out with both hands and took the
money.  He took an envelope from Akane's desk and he stuffed all
seven thousand yen inside.  He sealed it and wrote `From Ranma' on
it, then he went to Nabiki's room and pushed it under her door, as if
glad to be free of it.  Then he turned to Akane.

     "Don't get the wrong idea, Akane.  I...I know you meant well,
but I just wanted to get it over with."

     "That's alright, Ranma."

     "Thanks, Akane."

     "T-there's one more thing I want to say to you, Ranma. 
It's....just I want to say that I'm...sorry for how I was acting today. 
I didn't know why you wanted to get out, and I guess I jumped to too
many conclusions too fast, and I blew up on you.  Forgive me."

     Ranma smiled, pleasantly astonished.  "Akane....thank you.  Of
course I forgive you.  I've got one thing I wanna say to you too."

     "Go on, Ranma."  Akane waited expectantly.
     
     "I...I don't have a Christmas present for you.  I have no money
at all, and I don't want to get money off of Nabiki for a long while. 
I feel kinda bad, now."

     "That's alright too, Ranma.  I've been thinking for a long time
since you were gone.  We keep saying that...it's the thought that
counts in giving gifts, but what really counts is....wh-whether we care
for each other when we need it.  Genuine gifts are just a way of
saying that you care, but we don't really need gifts to say that we
care, right?"

     "Well....since I have no present, I guess that I have to agree
with you."  Ranma put a hand behind his head and laughed at his own
joke, and Akane joined in too.  Then the clock struck half-past eight,
the electronic rendition of Christmas bells filling the hallway with
sound.

     "O..oh.  I-it's half-past eight already", said Ranma as he eyed
the clock.  The Ucchan had closed half an hour ago.  And Ukyo was
still waiting for his answer to her request that he spend Christmas eve
with her.  Akane smiled.

     "Grab your jacket, Ranma.  Let's go."

     "Go...go where?"

     "The Ucchan, silly.  Let's spend Christmas eve with Ukyo. 
Come on."

     "But...but...how'd you know?"  Ranma had a bewildered look
on his face.

     "That's a secret.  Don't tell me you don't wanna spend
Christmas eve with Ukyo?"

     "I...I'd rather spend it with y....never mind.  What presents do
we bring?"

     "Who needs presents, remember?  We'll bring her...company. 
She won't be lonely.  Hey, we might even sleep over at her house! 
It's gonna be fun either way.  Just bring a deck of cards."
     
     "But you know I'm not good at cards!!"

     "Life's not fair.  Come on.  Tonight may be a time for giving
but we ought to be going."

     Akane gave Ranma a smile before she disappeared into her
room, to get her coat.  And Ranma went into his own room, to get
his coat as well, but his heart was lighter and no longer did he feel a
dread of Christmas eve.
----------------------------

Hey, it's still snowing outside, so I felt inspired to write something
along the lines of the "Tendo Christmas Scramble" OAV......

Comments are still welcome....

-WebDragon (kmark@odyssey.on.ca)