Kyon -- Big Damn Hero: Family Matters II

Disclaimer: The novel series of Suzumiya Haruhi that began with 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints. TVtropes(dot)org is part of the public domain, I think? I actually couldn't find a 'legal' section on the site! Additional characters are borrowed from Higurashi, which is the creation of Ryukishi07.

"Title: Relations"

"Sun, sea, sky, river
"Energy links to matter
"Clearly connected

"Established by nature, not:
"Structures formed by consciousness

"'Family' networks
"Need not follow clear order
"Ghost, friend; relative"

"Snow, Verses: A Compilation" -- Committed to record:2011.5.5

Kyon gently took her wrist and tugged her into the house, where she saw a gaggle of children were clustered around the door leading to the entryway. She recognized Kyon's sister among them, before he said, "Wait here a moment," and stepped between them, vanishing into the interior.

The oldest looking girl, who Haruhi could only imagine as looking a lot like a younger Asakura Ryouko, narrowed her eyes at Haruhi suspiciously. There were two sets of twins; a duo of light green-haired little girls, and a darker green-haired boy and girl pair. Between them, a brown-haired girl and a light-blonde haired girl studied her intensely. To one side, Kyon's sister stood next to a younger boy with dusty blue hair.

"But," Haruhi protested, frowning as she dripped on the entryway floor, "you know me."

The children all looked at one-another, except for Kyon's sister, who nodded. "Yep! This is Haru-nee-san!" she explained.

"The girl who can't know that Kyon-nii-sama got kissed by that Tsuruya girl?" the purple haired girl asked, eying her sharply.

"Yeah," Kyon's sister agreed, pouting. "You're not very good at keeping secrets."

Haruhi stared incredulously at the group of children. Tsuruya ... kissing Kyon? That.... But this wasn't the time to think about it. She filed the thought away for later consideration, hearing the sound of footsteps behind the children.

"You think?" Kyon asked with his typical dour tone, looking at the purple-haired girl with mild reproach. He shook his head and turned his attention back to Haruhi, handing her a towel.

"Commander!" the twin green-haired girls said in synchronization, while Haruhi belated started to dry herself off. "What do we do with the intruder?"

"Very," Kyon agreed. Haruhi broke from toweling her hair off long enough to scowl at him through it.

"Then why did we let her inside? Commander, this is a breach of our perimeter!" his sister protested.

"No, I get it," the brown-haired girl who had initially suggested investigating said, nodding slowly.

The other children turned to look at her. "Well?" asked the boy with dusty blue hair.

"She's from high command, obviously," she answered, shrugging her hands helplessly. "Wouldn't that explain why she's dangerous, but the commander let her inside anyway, I wonder, I wonder?"

"I still think she's a spy," the purple-haired girl said, eying Haruhi suspiciously. "We should interrogate, like Aiko-chan suggested."

"Nope," Kyon said, shaking his head. "Yurie-chan has it right. This is Haruhi, and she's my commander. Okay! Yurie-chan solved the mystery, and we've still got a schedule to keep -- Yurie-chan is the girl's bath captain, so get to it!"

With practiced precision, all the girls except for the purple-haired one saluted Kyon sharply, and marched in perfect lockstep behind Yurie as she led the way deeper into the house.

"That's you too, Matsuri-chan," Kyon added, giving the reluctant girl a reassuring smile. "Go on, now."

Pouting, Matsuri looked at Haruhi mistrustfully. "I don't want to leave Commander Kyon-nii-sama alone with this big-chested interloper!" she protested. "She might try and seduce you away, nih-pah~!"

The dusty blue-haired boy gave Matsuri a skeptical look, and with great decorum noted, "Icky."

Finished toweling her hair dry, Haruhi had to struggle to keep from barking a laugh at that complaint. She had never thought of herself as particularly well-endowed ... though she supposed she was above average enough to inspire jealousy in a girl who couldn't be much older than twelve. "Matsuri-cha~an!" Yurie called from within, presumably wherever the bath was. "Aren't you coming?"

Grumbling, Matsuri trudged away, shooting one warning glare at Haruhi over her shoulder, and remarking, "Commander Kyon-nii-sama is mine!"

Kyon sighed and gestured Haruhi within, where the remaining two boys studied her skeptically. The green-haired one mused, "How come we never heard about her before, Commander?"

"I didn't think she'd come up here," he answered. "Alright. You two are on your own for a bit, and I know Shutaro's going to behave himself, so let me just remind you, Naota, that the Houjou twins are willing to face court-martial for your murder if you try peeking."

Shutaro's attention went immediately from Kyon to Naota. "Icky," he reminded the older boy. "Eww." Turning back to Kyon, he asked, "Can we watch a movie, Commander?"

"After we get to take our baths," Naota said, frowning. Turning to Haruhi he said, "Will you play a board game with us?"

"She's going to want to talk to me while I'm in the kitchen," he said. He turned and walked through the living room, gesturing her to follow again. The boys sighed and went to the living room table, where a large heap of game boxes already sat, most of them opened and their contents scattered about.

Bemused, Haruhi followed him. There was a very small table in one corner of the kitchen, with a pair of western-style chairs, so she took one, draping her towel across the back and quirking an eyebrow when he turned his attention to the stove. "You can cook?" she asked, which she also realized was nothing remotely close to a proper greeting.

"A little," he allowed. "I'm probably about as good as my mother, which isn't saying much. Nowhere near as good as any of my aunts, and prize-winning compared to my uncle."

She snorted. If she hadn't just walked all the way from Okinomiya, she probably would have offered to help. As it was.... "So, what's with the 'commander' business?"

"Today's game," he answered, stirring a pot of something. "Military theme. When the storm first started, Auntie Rika called to say that if it got really bad, they probably weren't going to come down from Auntie Mion's place, since the road can get pretty rough in bad weather. So, now we're besieged, and you're the first person to come in through the blockade."

"Thanks," he said, dryly. "Anyway, and more to the point, what are you doing in Hinamizawa?"

Shoving aside her exhaustion for the moment, she climbed to her feet and rolled up her sleeves, studying the pot. "I came up to check on you, obviously," she retorted, clicking her tongue at him. "You're stirring too fast for that temperature."

He snorted, slowing slightly as he checked the clock, then started the automated rice-cooker on the counter next to the stove. "It's just the broth," he noted. "But if you want to help, you can get the vegetables from the refrigerator. Um.... Some mushrooms, bamboo shoots, a package of nori, and ... some frozen peas from the freezer."

"I know how to make oyako donburi," she remarked, gathering the ingredients he had requested. "What about everything else?"

"I'll take care of the meat in a bit," he remarked, spooning a small sample of the broth into a shallow tasting cup and blowing on it for a few seconds before cautiously testing it. "If you really want, you can prepare the eggs. The girls have to finish their baths before I can really start, and then I need to space it out so that I finish when Naota and Shutaro are done. Did you walk all the way here from Okinomiya? Because the bus isn't going to be running again tonight, and we can expect this storm to last until the early morning tomorrow, at least."

"Went out with the power," he acknowledged. "You're probably not going to get cell phone reception, either, but texts eventually get through."

"Oh," she said, frowning. She gave him some room to season the broth while texting Tsuruya and Mikuru, so they would know where she had gone. As he suggested, the text did finally go through, after complaining that it failed twice. After that she pocketed her phone, debating discussing it, or putting it off....

To take her mind off things, after he finished seasoning the broth, she found a cutting board and a large knife. He shrugged and started rinsing the vegetables for her. "So," she said, keeping her voice level, cutting up the mushrooms, "you and Tsuruya-san kissed?"

He winced, visible even from the corner of her eye. "Yeah," he admitted. "It was that Saturday that we...." He trailed off, glancing toward the living room to make sure no miniature eavesdroppers were in range. "After we fought the Sumiyoshi-rengo. Tsuruya-kun and her father came by, I guess because ... um ... technically, since I'm part of their organization now, and he's the family head. So, he wanted to thank me for helping Tsuruya-kun overcome her trial."

"Him wanting to thank you," she remarked, sliding the mushrooms into a bowl, "leads to you two kissing?" She shot him a dubious look as she began peeling the bamboo shoots.

He sighed. "It's not quite like that," he said. "I mean.... It was very polite, and she was wearing a formal kimono. I met her bodyguard and everything. So, to try and assuage my parents, Tsuruya-kun's father bought my dad's company, and then Tsuruya-kun gave me a kiss on the cheek."

Haruhi felt instantly better about that. A kiss on the cheek, well.... Then she frowned, as the last of the vegetables were sliced. Making everyone happy was going to be very difficult if her plans were constantly undermined by her own jealousy.

"I guess that serves me right for not telling you," he added. Like a shot, Matsuri appeared from the bathroom, dressed in loose fitting pajamas, and with her hair still dripping. "And maybe, just a little bit, for trusting my sister with that."

"Hey!" Kyon's sister protested from behind Matsuri, pouting. "I didn't break my promise!"

"Matsuri-chan," Kyon protested, frowning as he stirred the broth. "You didn't dry your hair properly."

"Commander Kyon-nii-sama can help me, then," she said stubbornly, holding a towel up in one hand. "I didn't trust you alone with him, nih-pah~!"

"Let me cook," Haruhi suggested. Matsuri provided a shining example of jealousy being disruptive ... even if it was kind of cute, in a way, that the girl were so fixated on her cousin. Still, if things were more serious, that wouldn't be an endearing trait at all.... And she doubted it was 'cute' in her, either. After all, didn't both she and Kyon dislike tsundere characters?

"Alright," he allowed, taking the towel from the girl and clicking his tongue after looking over Matsuri's shoulder. "All through the living room.... Imouto, would you please get the towel that Haruhi used, and mop up the floor?"

He really was good with children, she realized. It must be something to do with his deep patience, and almost eternally cool temper. There was nothing wrong with her being burning hot relative to him, but that flame of jealousy ... that needed to be overcome. But how could she just make herself not be jealous?

Sighing, she turned her attention to the cutting board, blinking to see that the brown-haired girl -- Yurie -- had somehow gotten there already and was expertly slicing the chicken while humming. "Hi!" she chirped, smiling brightly at Haruhi. "So, you're the high commander, I wonder, I wonder?"

"That's right," she agreed. "I left my arm-band of rank at headquarters, but Kyon left his, too; he's my trusted vice-commander!"

"Suzumiya Haruhi," she introduced herself in turn. "So, is Kyon taking good care of you?"

"The commander is our favorite," she said confidently, beaming an even brighter smile at Haruhi. "So, you'd better treat him well, or we'll call Oyashiro-sama's curse down on you!"

Haruhi tried to ignore just how unsettling that remark was, and ladled some of the broth into a sauce-pan. "Who is Oyashiro?" she asked.

"Oyashiro-sama," Yurie corrected her, setting the knife down as the last of the chicken was sliced, then moving to wash her hands carefully. "One must always respect him ... those who don't become...." She trailed off, and smiled at Haruhi again.

"...demoned away," the twin green-haired girls completed ominously from the doorway to the kitchen.

Yes, Haruhi decided, Kyon's patience was verging on sainthood if he took care of children like this so comfortably. There it was again; his 'normal person' status being oddly refuted by his amazing ability to take seemingly anything in stride.

After helping the overly clingy Matsuri with her hair, Kyon routed Naota and Shutaro into the bath, then returned to the kitchen. From past experiences involving the bentos Haruhi regularly brought him, and her cooking during the SOS Brigade's Christmas party, he knew she was very skilled, so none of the children should have anything to complain about. He had a suspicion that Rika's daughter was going to disagree on that one, though.

"Okay," he said, draping Matsuri's towel over her head like a hood. "Come on, team; let's give the high commander some space."

Haruhi looked over her shoulder and nodded, as the Houjou and Sonozaki twins bounced out of the kitchen and back into the living room. Yurie and Aiko remained, Yurie rummaging for dishes while the blonde girl grabbed place settings and napkins.

"Kyon," Haruhi called, stirring the saucepan's contents, "help me out; take those bowls from Yurie-chan."

Quickly, they formed an assembly line. Kyon filled bowls with rice, Haruhi served the donburi over the top, and then Yurie and Aiko ferried the filled bowls to the living room table. As Kyon naturally expected, Haruhi's judgment was perfect, every single bit of cooked food served up, leaving only a spare serving of rice or two. "So," he said, while they set the pot and saucepan in the sink, "I don't think you want to try walking back to Okinomiya in the rain. Is there anyone who can give you a ride, or do you need to stay here tonight?"

"Wah!" Matsuri protested from the doorway with a scowl. "I have my eye on you, big-chested seductress!"

"Don't speak of your high commander in such a way," Kyon warned her, raising one eyebrow.

"Um," Haruhi said, turning to face him, but not meeting his eyes. "I didn't really think about that.... I guess with so many other girls here, I'd be safe.... Well, I'm sure Matsuri-chan here will protect me from you being a pervert."

"That's right!" Matsuri said, nodding fiercely. "Commander Kyon-nii-sama will only do such things with his one true love; me!"

"What do you think I am, some anime character with no self control?" he retorted. "Come on, am I really like that?"

"Well, okay," Haruhi allowed. "Thanks, then, for letting me stay here. Your aunt and uncle won't be upset, will they?"

"I think I can explain things to my aunt," he replied, smirking. Naturally, given that he expected Hanyuu was watching him and the children anyway, she probably already knew. Interestingly, he realized that if she wanted to, Rika could just relay a message to him via Hanyuu and Yuki. He tried not to think about that for the moment.

"Okay," he said, after drying his hands and tucking the hand-towel into an apron pocket. Shutaro and Naota emerged from the bathroom and streaked to the table. "Everyone, be sure to thank your high commander for cooking this dinner for us."

"Thank you!" the children chorused together, as he and Haruhi sat at the table, Matsuri forcing her way between them and shooting the older girl a wary, distrustful look.

Kyon checked the clock and nodded. "Alright," he agreed. "We can watch a movie after dinner, but then I have to shut the generator off, and it's time for bed. What did you want to watch?"

After brief, heated debate, the children finally settled on Howl's Moving Castle, Kyon's little sister and Aiko pushing for it and just beating out Matsuri's proposed viewing of Ponyo.

Evidently Haruhi hadn't seen the movie, because she watched it just as avidly as the children. He crept out near the movie's climax, having seen it before, and changed the water in the gas-heated bath before the movie ended, also setting his spare pajamas and a towel out. He returned in time to catch the final scene before the movie ended and turned on a pair of battery-powered lanterns, setting one on the living room table, and the other in the bathroom.

"Okay," he ordered, shutting off the television, "time to brush teeth." The children obediently trooped off, and he warned them, "I'm shutting the generator down, so make sure all the lights are turned off, already."

Haruhi looked at him quizzically, but he gestured her to wait at the table; the rain hadn't lessened much at all. After removing his apron and borrowing his uncle's heavy coat from the front closet, he trudged through the downpour to the generator with a flashlight and shut it down, following the instructions that his uncle had drilled him with in previous years. By the time he had returned to the house and shook himself off, he was thoroughly soaked, though not as badly as Haruhi had been.

The children lined up for inspection, already in their pajamas, much to Haruhi's amusement. He escorted them to their respective rooms, only Matsuri stubbornly resisting. The Houjou twins and Makoto took over Shutaro's room, while his sister, Matsuri, Yurie, and Aiko used Matsuri's room; the boys would be sharing the guest bedroom with him. "You'll have to stay in the living room," he told Haruhi apologetically.

"If you sneak into Kyon-nii-sama's room tonight, it's the death penalty, nih-pah~!" Matsuri warned with an evil gleam in her eyes.

"Me sneak into his room?" Haruhi asked doubtfully. "I don't see that happening."

"Anyway, she's more likely to give me the death penalty as it is," Kyon commented, smiling as he rolled his eyes. "Plus, Shutaro's going to keep guard over me to protect me from getting cooties."

"That's right!" Shutaro yelled. "Cousin Kyon is too cool to be drawn to the girl side!"

Matsuri pouted fiercely, before struggling to try and hide a yawn. Haruhi had to struggle to keep from smirking.

"Alright, come on, I'm putting you to bed," he said insistently, walking her to her own room and tucking her in. He waited a minute for her to grumblingly doze off, then returned to the living room. "There's a change of clothes and a towel in the bathroom," he told Haruhi. "But the water won't stay hot forever, so you'll probably want to hurry."

She scowled. "Not to take a bath," she snapped, blushing faintly and looking away. "Just ... sit outside the door, so we can talk."

After raising an eyebrow at her, he shrugged. "Okay," he allowed. She went to the bathroom and left the door open a crack, though with the inner door, he wouldn't be able to see inside to the washing area anyway. He sat in the hallway and knuckled back a yawn, leaning against the wall near the doorway. He tried to ignore the sounds of Haruhi undressing and splashing as she washed herself, then settled into the water.

"So," her voice came from within, "is your family treating you better here than at home?"

"Without a doubt," he agreed, nodding. "Auntie Rika has been really supportive, and I actually kind of like taking care of my cousins." In a way, the responsibility of taking care of the children, with so little in the way of horrific consequences was a relief from the stress that he occasionally encountered in the SOS Brigade. Not that it was always that bad, but....

"That storm came on really fast," she said after a quiet moment, splashing softly. "Does that happen a lot?"

"In spring," he agreed. "It turned really fast, but they usually only last a day at most. If you'd come up two days ago, on Monday, you would have seen a truly sweltering day. It was pretty well-timed; we got to go to the water park."

He heard her laugh softly. "At least you're getting to have fun," she remarked. "My parents are all bent out of shape because of corporate restructuring. My dad's company got bought out by another company, and it turned out to be a problem for my mom, too. So all I got was to see another game at Koushien stadium, but...."

He frowned. Was it possible.... "Did your father work for Nishinomiya Heavy Industries?" he asked cautiously.

"Yeah!" she said, with another surprised splash. "How did you know? Don't tell me you actually follow financial news!?"

"Gee, thanks," he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. "Sounds more like you weren't paying attention, to me. They were bought by the Tsuruya Corporation. Isn't that funny? My father worked for Nishinomiya Heavy, too."

Haruhi said nothing for a moment, then there was a louder splash and a curse. "Is this your fault, somehow?" she asked sharply. "I have a hard time seeing Tsuruya-san being behind it!"

"Ah.... Yeah, the day that Tsuruya-kun kissed me, her father, Tsuruya-sama, tried to hire my dad. My dad wouldn't leave his company, so ... Tsuruya-sama bought his company and moved him over."

"Which part bothered you more?" he retorted. "Tsuruya-kun kissing me on the cheek, or her father buying the company our dads both worked for? Anyway, I thought Tsuruya-kun would have mentioned that in her report to you."

She grumbled something incomprehensible, then climbed out of the bath, muttering. "Alright," she admitted. "Maybe my priorities were a bit strange on that count. I got ... distracted by something and never finished reading it. Still, he bought the company? Just like that?"

"Evidently," Kyon agreed. He heard the whispering of cloth sliding across skin for a quiet moment. "I think it was because they were trying to help me out with my parents, and that seemed the best 'reward' they could give, without explaining to my parents, 'by the way, your son joined our organized crime syndicate, and has mysteriously gotten really good at breaking noses, a trait which we admire'." Though, he thought on reflection, their actual explanation was not far off from that.

"On ... that Saturday?" Haruhi mused, her voice muffled as she pulled his pajama shirt on. She suddenly fell silent, and he could hear nothing but the slow drip of the faucet into the tub. "Oh, damn it!"

"Watch your language," he chided. "There are children around. Anyway, what's this about?"

"I ... just realized that ... it was all my fault. After you told me you got grounded, uh, I texted Tsuruya-san and told her ... to fix it ... and I guess...."

"...that's what she came up with to 'fix' things," he completed, nodding. It did make a certain amount of sense.

"Dang," she grumbled, sliding the door open and stepping out, pulling at the pants legs of his pajamas. He glanced at her, strangely very cute in his too-large clothes. She opened her mouth to comment, and he quickly interjected.

"Ah, in that other world last December, your other self borrowed my track outfit to sneak into our school, and you -- she said the same thing."

Frowning, she nodded. "I guess that makes a certain degree of sense," she remarked. "Anyway, you probably should hurry while the water's still warm."

Strangely, he felt like he was being watched more than he had lately.... Yuki was still watching, most likely, but he was sure that she wouldn't actually peek on him in the bath. Hanyuu was undoubtedly above such things as a god. And he couldn't really imagine Haruhi doing it, after all the grief she gave him.... Trying to ignore the feeling, he stripped and walked from the changing room to the washroom, pausing only long enough to hang Haruhi's discarded clothes on the drying rack so she could wear them again in the morning.

Haruhi swallowed, her face bright red as she leaned back against the wall and furtively glanced down the hallway. No sign of Matsuri's jealous stare or childish outrage; she'd gotten away with it cleanly. Well, that was fine. She'd given Kyon plenty of opportunities to peek while she was undressing. She'd be shocked if he hadn't taken at least one of them. Anyway, that made her more even with Tsuruya, in her mind. Especially that part where he'd bent over to pick up the clothes she'd forgotten, and--

"T...this is nice," she said, fanning her face with one hand when she heard him finish splashing himself with a wash bucket, and actually climb into the tub.

"Yeah," he agreed, sounding surprisingly relaxed about it. "Actually, it really is."

"I...I'm glad that I found you, then," she said, smiling. "Man, Golden Week was so boring until Tsuruya mentioned she had something to do up here!"

"She did?" he asked. "Huh ... I suppose that means I should expect a text message from her soon, then."

On that note.... Haruhi checked her own phone, not surprised to see that she'd missed the notification, but gotten a text from Tsuruya. A voice-mail, too, but with the unbelievably crappy reception, she wouldn't be able to check it until she was in Okinomiya anyway. The text was a simple: "Okies~! :3 Take care; you worried us when you ran off like that! Tell Kyon-kun that Mikuru-chan and I say hello~! :D"

She wondered if Tsuruya used a more serious tone when she messaged Kyon about his 'work'. "H...hey, Kyon...."

"Do.... Do you think that Tsuruya-san would let me, um, join you guys?" she asked, trying to keep her uncertainty from her voice. "I mean.... I don't.... I don't like being left out, and you're doing really big, important-seeming things with her family."

Kyon splashed in the bathtub, and she imagined him scratching the back of his neck. "I don't know," he finally said. "I mean, she'd probably let you join if you asked. Yeah; I don't think she'd say 'no'. If it weren't for the fact that she'd feel like she was stepping on your toes, she'd probably want to bring Nagato in, too, if for nothing else than to thank her for the help, that day.... And to be honest, without Nagato, that could have ended up really badly for us."

"But ... she couldn't bring you into her family as her superior. So, you'd be her subordinate in those matters."

"Um ... as I understand the hierarchy, it depends. Basically, she's decided that I'm her chief advisor. If you were made my subordinate, that would make you an accountant, or a lower-ranked advisor. She could also make you an enforcer of equal rank to me, or another saiko komon in charge of other subordinates. Is that something you really want?"

She bit her lip. It would keep her in the loop, so to speak.... And it wasn't like Tsuruya was untrustworthy, or would make a bad superior, but.... "Would I be her subordinate completely?" she asked. "I mean ... I don't think I could just hand the brigade over to her, as much as I like her." She already felt like she was losing ground to the other girls as it was; she couldn't become like Yuki, and time travelers seemed to have excruciatingly strict codes of behavior.

"I'm not really sure. Tsuruya-kun's pretty reasonable, I think, so I doubt she'd try and just replace you like that. Maybe you should talk to her about it?"

Maybe that made her situation a bit pathetic, she thought. Kanae and Mikuru, along with Yuki, let Kyon have access to his instant mastery, allowing him to become a fierce martial artist in a matter of days. Tsuruya and Koizumi had connections and wealth, pulling strings to get Kyon out of most of the trouble he'd gotten in, and money besides.... Or was her reluctance to let go of that just being petty? All she really brought to the table was an unreliable power that had to be regulated, caused Yuki trouble....

She hadn't even realized that she was sinking into a depression until she felt Kyon tap her shoulder, leaning down to look at her with concern. "Are you alright?" he asked. "What's wrong?"

"W...well, I," she began before grimacing and shaking her head. "Ah, don't worry about it. I probably won't ask her, after all." Which made her something of a coward, she thought, as he shrugged.

"Alright, for now," he allowed. "Anyway, since you came all the way here, did you want to talk about anything else, or go to bed?"

"We should get some sleep," she decided. "As tempting as it is to ask you about this 'Oyashiro-sama' character on a dark, stormy night...." She shrugged back, barely suppressing the urge to shiver nervously.

The Sonozaki house was well suited to handle power outages from storms, since they could be counted on to happen two or three times a year, especially in winter and spring. When the storm had started, Keiichi had made noises along the lines of heading back down the mountain, but Rika was confident that Kyon could handle things. The other women had naturally agreed; this wouldn't be the first time that Kyon had taken care of the children during a power outage.

After listening to the women agree that it should be fine, Keiichi joked that it probably wouldn't be the last time, either. Rika knew from Hanyuu's periodic updates that things were fine, and also knew about Haruhi appearing. Well, she trusted her nephew enough to expect he wouldn't do anything inappropriate.... And, anyway, he knew that both Hanyuu and his friend Yuki were watching him, so she doubted he would try anything, even if he did succumb to temptation.

So she told the other women, after the Sonozaki estate switched to generator power, that Kyon and the children were probably fine, and as they always did, they respected her 'intuition'. Which seemed fine, to her. Still, since they were isolated from the children, and aside from an emergency radio, cut off from the outside world, the late-night games had become increasingly silly as Mion introduced sake and 'penalty drinks'. Shion and Satoshi, predicting how the games were going to turn out, excused themselves to their own guest room, exchanging knowing snickers before shutting the door.

From there, Keiichi immediately took the lead, always holding his liquor the best, until Rena countered her bankruptcy by gambling articles of clothing. Satoko and Mion readily joined, and Rika conceded and did the same to avoid penalty drinks, wanting Hanyuu to be relatively unscathed to watch over the children. Naturally, Keiichi's concentration, gaming skill, and wardrobe plummeted to negligible levels accordingly.

Morning found Hanyuu staring down at her from overhead with shadowed eyes, bags beneath them. "Bleah," she announced. Somewhat testily, she added, "My head hurts, it is so."

Rika rolled her eyes, pulling her arm free from beneath Satoko as the blonde woman snored, buzz-saw like, into her ear. How had she slept through that, anyway? She sat up, squinting, but outside of Satoko and Hanyuu, the room was empty. Guessing what she would find, she tiptoed to Mion's room, where the door was already open a crack.

Keiichi was sound asleep, Rena and Mion clutched onto either side of him. "I guess a 'three-way' tie really means more, sometimes," Rika managed, amused despite the mild hangover that Hanyuu was fussing about. She headed to the kitchen, intending to make breakfast for everyone, but Shion was already there, cooking happily with a too-wide smile on her face.

Rika wordlessly went to the coffee machine and started it up. "Good morning~!" Shion chirped, intentionally loudly. "How are you doing this glorious, resplendent day?"

"Now, what's with that smile? Miiii~! Should Azusa and Yoko be expecting a new little brother or sister, soon?"

"If not, it isn't for lack of trying," Shion returned, waggling her eyebrows. "He's still recovering!"

Rika smirked, helping Shion with the kitchen chores until the coffee machine chirped. Keiichi and Satoshi stumbled into the room as if summoned by the chime, both wearing robes and with roughly identically bedraggled hair in their respective shades. "Coffee," they moaned in sync, zombie-like.

Rolling her eyes, Rika watched the pair good-naturedly jostle one-another to compete for access to the machine, until they had both managed to slurp down their drink before they regarded one-another warily.

When the men thought she wasn't looking, Rika caught the way that Keiichi and Satoshi both made fists of their right hands, and bumped them together, sharing knowing nods and nearly matching grins. Men? More like boys, she thought, rolling her eyes again.

"Better," he said, raising the empty coffee mug in salute. "Looks like the rain's stopped. Is the power back on?"

"Not yet," Shion answered. "We're still on the generator for the moment, but they don't usually take long."

"Right," Keiichi agreed, eying the cooking breakfast. "Well, we should probably make haste back home; Kyon's being paid by the hour."

"It's highway robbery, is what it is," Satoshi remarked, grimacing. "Eight hundred yen an hour? Per twin? That nephew of yours has become totally mercenary."

"Oh, yeah," Keiichi agreed, carefully not meeting Satoshi's eyes. "That's how much it costs. Of course, good luck getting Imouto to pay for Kyon watching his little sister."

"How is that bi-- um, charming sister of yours, anyway?" Shion asked, while Rena and Satoko bumbled into the room and sat at the table wearily.

"I'm telling you, I know what her problem is, and going to a hotel once or twice a week would make her much happier," Shion opined, waggling her eyebrows again. "It's not like Kyon can't handle watching over Nonoko-chan."

Frowning, Keiichi admitted, "You may be right, but just you try telling her that."

Satoshi nodded his agreement before walking to his sister's side and checking her condition.

"My head's killing me," Mion groaned, staggering into the room and slumping to sit at the table heavily. "Kei-chan, Rika-chan ... if I don't make it ... I'm leaving the household to Makoto-chan."

"Good morning nee-chan!" Shion boomed, slamming the skillet of eggs loudly onto the table. "How are you doing today?"

"Please, where are my henchmen when I need them?" Mion whimpered, clutching her head. Satoko and Rena likewise flinched away, but with less exaggerated reactions. "What did I do last night?"

Rena blushed wordlessly, lowering her face, while Satoko began alternately snickering and wincing.

Rika pondered what had gone undiscussed, namely that uncomfortable issue of the reason why Kyon's mother was so hard on him. Still, that could be handled in a discussion with her; Kyon would probably be happier not knowing, all things considered.

After parking, Keiichi hummed quietly to himself, opening the door and calling out, "Hello, kiddies!"

Rika stepped in, not at all surprised to see Kyon's friend Haruhi sitting at the table with the children, looking half guilty and half surprised. Kyon raised a hand in greeting, setting down his cards. "You missed breakfast," he said, apologetically. "Did you guys have fun last night?"

"Naturally," Keiichi agreed, switching to his house shoes, and blinking at Haruhi. "Oh, ah ... a friend of Kyon's, perhaps?"

"Yeah," Kyon said, chuckling ruefully. "Um, Uncle Keiichi, Aunt Rika, this is my friend and classmate, Suzumiya Haruhi. Haruhi, this is my aunt and uncle, Fuurude Keiichi and Fuurude Rika."

"Nice to meet you, Suzumiya," Keiichi said affably. "You must have just come in this morning; the road from Okinomiya is clear, then?"

"Um," Haruhi managed, her face reddening as she laughed nervously. "A...actually, I got in last night."

"The big-chested interloper stayed here last night," Matsuri said smugly. "Kyon-nii-sama was ensorcelled, though; it wasn't his fault!"

"Oh, is that so?" Rika replied thoughtfully. Already knowing the answer, she asked Shutaro, "Was everyone well behaved, Shu-chan?"

"Well, that's fine, then," Keiichi said, undisturbed. "You'd have to look after your friend after last night's weather, wouldn't you?"

"I'd imagine so," Rika agreed, before Kyon could answer. "Well, unfortunately, Kei-chan's going to need to head back to the Sonozaki estate to take care of some work. Kyon, do you think you and Suzumiya-chan could do me a favor?"

Placing her hands together pleadingly, Rika asked, "It's a bit of an imposition, but could you walk the Houjou twins home?"

"Oh, yeah, that shouldn't be a problem," he agreed, narrowing his eyes and looking at the light-green-haired girls. Haruhi nodded her agreement. "Provided that I don't fall into a pit trap on the way there."

Haruhi blinked and looked at Kyon doubtfully. Azusa and Yoko both managed to look almost angelically innocent.

Rika giggled, ducking her head. "Don't dare let your uncle Satoshi forget to pay you," she added. "You've earned that, you know."

"No problem," he assured her. Turning to the children, he called out, "Okay! Team Houjou, assemble!"

Azusa and Yoko jumped to their feet and twirled around in almost matching pirouettes. "Time to go home~!" they sang in chorus.

While the twins grabbed their bags, Keiichi grinned and asked, "Did everyone have a good time here last night?"

"Yes!" the children cheered together, throwing back perfectly matching grins, except for the Houjou twins and Kyon's sister. Rika saw the way that Haruhi started, catching it, but said nothing.

Rika watched the quartet leave thoughtfully, Kyon only pausing long enough to remove his caretaker's apron and hang it in the hall closet. Haruhi glanced nervously back at her and Keiichi for some reason, probably afraid that she would tell Kyon's mother, and also suspicious of the familial resemblance among the children.

In the secret language that husbands and wives (and in Keiichi and Rika's case, certain other women) shared, Rika shot Keiichi a warning glance, one that said, "Your sister cannot know about this."

Clapping his hands together, he gave the kids another grin and said, "Okay, I've got to get dressed for work and find my business papers. You kids all behave, alright?"

Rika mused over Haruhi's evident perception.... She was reasonably sure that Kyon himself didn't know, given that he'd grown up with their situation, so it didn't seem abnormal to him. It might be problematic if Haruhi saw it and figured things out.... Then again, she thought, suddenly brightening, it could also be a very good opportunity for the girl. She might learn a thing or two. Once Keiichi was out of earshot, she said, "Kyon and his friend are going to walk you all home, so you have some time to play games before they get back, alright?"

After walking the twin girls to their own house, Haruhi thought back to what she had seen. Azusa and Yoko took after their parents, undoubtedly. Their hair was even a smooth blend of her green hair, and his blond hair. Not that such a thing was in any way unreasonable. Kyon collected his payment from his 'uncle' Satoshi, and they started walking back to the Fuurude household.

"I'm not," he admitted, shrugging. "The family's just really close friends. Even though there's a lot of 'aunts' in this town, I'm not related to any of them -- except Aunt Rika, by marriage to Uncle Keiichi."

"Close friends," she mused, pondering in silence the rest of the way back. He gave her one curious look, but didn't say anything, seeming to prefer the quiet. After they got home, Rika unsurprisingly foisted another 'cousin' off onto the pair, Aiko, and they walked her home, too.

The dark blonde-haired girl hummed and skipped, singing the theme song from some anime she watched, hand-in-hand with Kyon and Haruhi, demanding that the pair swing her through the air every so often. That was kind of fun, Haruhi admitted, but mostly she was interested in meeting the girl's mother.

'Aunt' Satoko was an attractive blonde woman, and even though Keiichi wasn't around for a direct comparison, Haruhi was reasonably sure that Aiko looked an awful lot like both of them. Satoko insisted they both come into her house, which suited Haruhi just fine. She wasn't an expert on the subject, but while Satoko gave them cookies and glasses of lemonade, she was absolutely positive that there was no sign of a husband anywhere. No conspicuous man of the appropriate age on the family shrine, and every picture was either of Aiko, Satoko, the pair of them....

There were group pictures, pictures of friends lining an otherwise empty shelf between rows of books; pictures of Keiichi, Shion with an identical woman (what, more twins!?), Rika, an unfamiliar woman with brown hair who reminded Haruhi of a less curvy yet older Mikuru with shorter hair, and Satoshi, who she realized was Satoko's brother once she got a proper introduction. They shared the same last name, and quite obviously weren't married.

They made some small talk, and Satoko asked Haruhi about her relationship with Kyon. He studiously pretended he was deaf, playing with Aiko while Haruhi tried not to refute that anything of the sort was happening like a stereotypical tsundere. She managed to admit that they were close in a mumbling, quiet voice, and Satoko winked at her, giving a thumbs-up while Kyon wasn't paying attention.

After that, just to be sure, she asked on the walk back, "Is your aunt Satoko a single mother?"

Rika's next assignment saw them walking Yurie to her mother, and Haruhi was reasonably sure she'd had the pattern figured out. Sure enough, the same comparisons between Keiichi and Rena applied to Yurie. Rena, too, demanded that Haruhi and Kyon come in for a cup of green tea and some freshly made ohagi. The woman squealed delightedly at seeing Haruhi, telling her in no uncertain terms that if she were any cuter, she would 'take her home' before unsubtly asking if she was 'interested' in Kyon.

She felt very uncomfortable at that and managed to smile, wondering briefly how Mikuru felt when she--

Kyon's miraculous deafness returned, while Yurie made him look at a recently written manuscript from her mother.

Forcing her attention to more investigative matters, her casual inspection of Rena's living room turned up similar clues to those found in Satoko's house. Namely, no husband, but pictures of Keiichi and the other 'aunts'.

Walking back, having trouble believing what she was seeing, she asked, "I'm guessing Rena's another one of those village single mothers?"

"Yep," Kyon answered, nodding, looking at her sidelong. "What, you think it's suspicious?"

"Bah, this from the girl who's annoyed that crabs evolved shells to avoid being eaten," he chided her with a roll of his eyes. "It's perfectly logical; it's a trying situation, so naturally they would band together."

She considered some of the childhood pictures she had seen on display; quite obviously, they hadn't just become close after becoming unwed mothers. She was having a lot of trouble applying 'single' to them in her mind, now. "Oh, yeah," she said, borrowing his own deadpan. "That does make perfect sense."

He gave her a quizzical look before shrugging, changing the subject. "I've been learning swordsmanship, since you demanded it," he said, smirking. "It seemed a better idea than breaking into the sealed storehouse in the shrine."

With utter disgust, she realized that as fascinating as the prospect of this 'sealed' building in the shrine should have been, she was far too distracted by the evident bigamy that Kyon was utterly failing to notice.

Arriving at the Fuurude home once more, and completely unsurprising to either of them, they were asked to escort the Sonozaki twins home. As far as Haruhi could tell, the twins could easily have ridden back with Keiichi, since he had headed there anyway. Was Kyon's aunt sending her an unsubtle message? That was disconcerting.

That walk was the longest. By the time they arrived, Mion insisted that they stay for lunch, and Keiichi allowed the twin boy and girl to tackle him to the floor and rough-house while Mion served them sandwiches and cool tea. She didn't see any pictures on display in the rooms of the large house that she and Kyon walked through, but that ended up not actually mattering. With Keiichi actually in the room for easy comparison, Haruhi had to struggle to keep from screaming at how dense Kyon was to not notice.

But instead of standing and berating his uncle for being such a bigamist, Kyon casually discussed Keiichi's plan to take him fishing on Friday, the next day. The man explained that the fishing trip was Rika's idea, saying that some 'male bonding' time wouldn't hurt with a chuckle, and adding that Shutaro, Naota, and (evidently a tomboy) Makoto would be joining them. After that came the unpleasant warning that Kyon's parents would be arriving sometime in the evening after the fishing trip, which caused Kyon to nod solemnly, and Haruhi to make a mental note to be nowhere nearby when it happened.

Once lunch was finished, Keiichi apologized, saying he needed to prepare for a business meeting of some sort, and turned to his paperwork. Haruhi wasn't certain why they had bothered taking the Sonozaki twins there, given that they then needed to be escorted back to the Fuurude home.... Keiichi didn't remark on it, and she doubted that Mion never got to see her children -- though, she too teased Haruhi about her relationship with Kyon.... For being unrelated, they really did act like they were his aunts, every one of them.

So, they walked back, Naota and Makoto chasing one-another ahead a short distance. "I shouldn't even ask," Haruhi commented. "But, really ... her too?"

"Yeah," Kyon answered, giving her a funny look. "It's not like it's problematic for them, you know. Aunt Rena writes mystery novels, just like Grandmother and Grandfather Maebara did. Aunt Satoko makes logic puzzles for a bunch of gaming magazines, and Aunt Mion...." He frowned. "Actually," he admitted, "I'm not sure what she does. I think it's real estate; she owns several of the mountains around here. But, I guess they're happy out here because it lets them avoid big city prejudices."

"Right," she said, not actually agreeing. They had all obviously lived here, not moved to avoid persecution or hide their shame. He shrugged at her, pulling his phone from his pocket when it chirped. "Huh, Tsuruya-kun just texted me," he commented. "Ah, no, crappy reception. Looks like she texted me an hour ago." He pondered briefly, studying the phone, then shrugged. "No rest for the wicked. I'll need to come up with an excuse for Aunt Rika, but it looks like Tsuruya-kun wants my help for some meeting or another tonight."

Haruhi shook her head, trying to dismiss her lingering confusion and annoyance. "Anyway," she said, "given that all the unwed mothers have interesting careers, what does your aunt Rika do?"

"She's the official caretaker of the Fuurude shrine," he explained. "Actually, Uncle Keiichi ended up having to take her family name when they married, though that's a longstanding tradition for the village. The Fuurude family has always tended the shrine, and Aunt Rika mentioned to me once that the firstborn heirs for the last eight generations have all been girls. Hey, before you get the idea of breaking into that sealed storeroom ... you'd better talk to her about the legends of Oyashiro-sama."

"Oh, great," she answered. "That's exactly what I wanted to talk with her about!"

"I can read you like a book," he said, smirking, though his eyes were on the twins ahead of them.

"Yeah," she said, giving him a hooded stare, still not actually agreeing with him. "I must be pretty obvious to you."

He briefly looked very satisfied with himself before frowning. "Oh, crap, I didn't bring a suit with me. Hmm, I do have my Tsuruya family pin...." He shook his head and quickly started texting back. "Man, I hate to impose, but Tsuruya-kun usually has a lot of foresight about these things. I hope she brought me a spare...."

Rika could tell by the way that Haruhi was eying her once she and Kyon had returned from the Sonozaki estate with Makoto and Naota that she had figured something out. Now, gods willing, she could arrange somehow to talk privately with the girl and explain how things could be. "Hey, Auntie Rika," Kyon greeted her, standing in the doorway and looking a bit sheepish. "Um ... another friend from town -- she actually came up with Haruhi -- wanted to meet with me tonight to take care of ... something. Would it be a huge problem if I were to visit with her a bit?"

Hanyuu looked very thoughtful. "Fortune smiles upon us today," she remarked, giving a sage nod.

"Oh, that's no problem at all," Rika assured him. Turning to Haruhi, she asked, "Would you like to stay with us until Kyon and your other friend are finished, Suzumiya-chan?"

"Ah, yeah, that might be fun, but I can't just leave Mikuru-chan at the hotel all alone," Haruhi demurred.

"Oh, but ... wouldn't your friend Asahina want to see Kyon too?" Rika asked, tapping her bottom lip thoughtfully.

"W...well, yeah," Haruhi allowed, hiding a grimace. Then she shook her head. "Yeah," she said more firmly. "You're right. Um ... I guess I'll ask Tsuruya-san to drop her off before she and Kyon head out." Oh, that self-depreciating look.... Rika remembered it from how clumsily things were managed when Mion and Keiichi began to grow close, and she'd nearly ruined everything before.... Well, hopefully with some guidance and wisdom, she could spare her nephew and this girl much of that same hurt.

Plus, she'd get to meet a time traveler. That sounded interesting, at the very least.

"Dang reception," Kyon muttered, shaking his phone with an annoyed grimace. "Are the phone lines back up?"

"Naturally!" Rika answered. "That's how I called Kei-chan to suggest your little fishing trip tomorrow! And of course you can use it, Kyon."

"Thanks," he said, relieved as he headed over to the phone to call Tsuruya's hotel.

Haruhi still looked vaguely haunted, but Rika was confident that things would work out. Once Kyon was off the phone and Haruhi was distracted with the children, she pulled him aside and asked in a quiet tone, "Kyon, if I wanted to discuss something very important with Suzumiya-chan, how would you suggest I open the subject with her?"

"She's fascinated with the supernatural and unusual," he answered without hesitation. "If you can extend your protection and show her the interior of that spooky storehouse, she'd follow you to the ends of the earth to get to it."

Unusual ... but that would work, and have the added benefit of being some place that they absolutely would not be followed. "Good," she decided. "Well, be sure to have fun with your friend tonight!"

Luck was with Kyon, for once. Somehow, he had an odd feeling that things were going to work out. Haruhi seemed distracted by the promise of seeing the occult, and Oyashiro's legend had managed to subdue her manic cheer to mortal, reasonable levels without totally crushing her curiosity. Tsuruya in fact did have an extra suit for him. He was going to get a chance to see Mikuru again, too -- always a plus.

Matsuri was behaving better, constraining her cousin-infatuation to mumbled asides in Rika's presence. His sister was quietly thoughtful, hopefully reflecting on the virtue of keeping secrets. If Kanae were there to pop in and say 'hello', he thought the day might be perfect. In fact, it might be going so well that he would even tolerate Koizumi.

He wondered at that, pondering what the slider and the esper were up to on their own vacations. Koizumi would undoubtedly have some cheerfully bland explanation that he did very mundane things. Kanae would probably say similar things, but be much more excited over it.

Those thoughts in mind, when the sun set and Tsuruya's limousine pulled up, spilling out Tsuruya and Mikuru, his aunt cheerfully greeted both of the new arrivals and invited them inside. Kyon excused himself to change after Mikuru handed him the bundled suit; Tsuruya was already wearing a very fine formal kimono, similar to the one she had worn when he first met her father.

Now, all he needed to do was finish whatever meeting Tsuruya wanted him to attend without letting his extended family know that he was working in organized crime, and the day would be perfect. He'd explained a lot to his aunt Rika, and he trusted her, but he'd left it at him working for Tsuruya's 'organization', and didn't go into details; thankfully, she hadn't asked for clarification.

He felt briefly very proud when Mikuru, Haruhi, his sister, his aunt, and his cousins all lined up to wave as Tsuruya's driver headed out. In the dark, instead of trying to pay attention to the road, he listened to Tsuruya's explanation of his role at the meeting, glad that no violence was to be expected. Kyon would be her chief advisor, and sit at her side. The driver was Kasai, who would also be the bodyguard; Kyon was pleased to see that though the man still moved a bit stiffly, he appeared to have recovered substantially from the last time they had met. He couldn't imagine Tsuruya demanding an injured man go into a situation where she saw the possibility of a fight.

They got out of the car after reaching their destination, but he barely spared a glance for the surroundings in the dark, taking Tsuruya's arm as she led the way in, giving him a few last minute tips and instructions. Kasai followed silently, until an unfamiliar servant in classical attire answered her knock at the door and led them into a large, familiar house, and down a corridor to a large hall.

There, everything suddenly flipped to extremely bizarre, as Kyon found himself sitting next to Tsuruya across the table from his aunt Mion, and his uncle Keiichi, both of whom evidently thought the situation was hilarious. Tsuruya didn't get the joke, and for the first time in his life, Kyon thought her laugh sounded somewhat forced. For himself, he didn't think it was particularly funny.

"Oh, man," he groaned, which he realized was a breach of protocol, speaking before his boss did, "could this get any more awkward?"

Behind him, Kasai coughed pointedly, eying his counterpart across the room. "Father," he said, inclining his head to an almost identical, but much older man. "I thought you had retired."

The other bodyguard made the same cough and inclined his head the same distance. "Son," he returned, giving a huge grin. "I'm like an old piece of china; cracked and weathered, but still brought out for special occasions."

Then Keiichi and Mion broke into howling laughter, rolling on the floor, and Kyon had to struggle to resist the urge to beat his forehead against the meeting table before them.

"W...what's going on, here?" Tsuruya asked, looking completely bewildered, but still laughing nervously.

Kyon: Big Damn Hero

Fanservice Arc III

Chapter Seventeen: Family Matters II