Kyon -- Big Damn Hero: Undercover Work

Disclaimer: The novel series of Suzumiya Haruhi that began with 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints. TVtropes(dot)org is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License (and it's possible that this fic technically is, too; seems fair to me). Additional characters are borrowed from Higurashi, which is the creation of Ryukishi07.

"Chapter Five: So, You Got Away"

"Are you sure? I mean, really, really, really sure? It could just be the calm before the storm, as they say. Check, double-check, check again, and then, once you're done, don't get overconfident or cocky."

"Clearing the Event Horizon: How Close is Too Close?" -- Tadamichi Kyousuke

Yuki knew where Jun was, but not how to get to him. After she enabled what she termed a 'stealth field' and hugging tightly onto one of Kyon's arms, the pair of them strolled into the police building, unobserved and silent. It took a few tries to figure out where the holding cells actually were, and there was a tense minute walking around a thick cluster of suited detectives deep in conversation with other folks in suits, who Kyon guessed were NPA agents. He didn't really want to find out, but their conversations seemed centered around finding out how Yamane, Watanabe, and Ryuguu had gotten the guns.

Fortunately, each of the three was in their own small cells, spaced far enough apart they could only communicate with one-another in easily overheard shouts. Out of sight of the police officers, Kyon stopped before Yamane's cell. The boy was laying on his cot, with his head as far away from the cell door as possible.

Yuki's eyes lowered, and she shook her head again, answering at her usual volume, "Speculatively, the pattern corruption is either dormant or otherwise concealed. If Yamane Jun becomes aware of your presence, the corrupted data should be revealed."

Kyon grimaced, glancing down the halls of the quiet holding area before sighing. "Okay," he agreed. "I really, really hope we don't get caught." Yuki released his arm, seeming hesitant, and Kyon guessed he was no longer 'stealthed'. Squaring his shoulders, he glanced at the girl. He could still see her, at least.

Rather than call or or yell, he rapped one knuckle on the bar of the cell, resulting in a very subdued metallic ring. Yamane shifted in his cot, then rolled onto his back slowly and sat up, staring at Kyon blearily. After a moment of fumbling, he produced his spectacles, slipping them on and shooting Kyon a disgusted, hateful sneer. "You," he hissed. "Come to gloat?"

Shaking his head in response, Kyon considered facing his attacker for the first time. He'd been stabbed once, and he'd never wanted to see the being that had done that to him. He wasn't exactly eager to see Jun, either, but Jun was a normal person, not some being beyond mortal comprehension with abilities so advanced they might as well be magic.

"This isn't about revenge," Kyon answered softly, mindful of being overheard. "Truthfully, as far as I understand it, this is about you being influenced by someone -- something, really. You were the one who decided to start taking pictures and selling them -- what prompted you to do that?"

"Shut up!" Ryuguu yelled from out of sight, a few cells over. "Look what that's cost us already!"

Kyon spread his hands in a shrug, before pocketing them in the greatcoat. His armor had been activated the moment that he and Yuki had set out, and he'd forgotten the black paint-like coating across his skin, leaving only his face seeming clear. "He's got a point," Kyon remarked, still keeping his voice low. "But, come on. Seriously. This started because of you; why did you do it?"

"Me!?" Jun gasped, indignant. "Are you serious!? You banished my Tenshi! You defiled her! It's only because of you that she had to leave!"

"Y...you," Kyon began cautiously, frowning. "You were harboring this grudge for almost an entire year before you chose to act on it?"

Kyon rubbed his chin. "You have something from her?" he surmised. Yuki had said there was a source; it was most likely a physical thing. A note, maybe a book.... He didn't think it would be one of Ryouko's knives, or else Jun might have tried to stab him with it. Then again, maybe it was a file on Jun's computer...?

"Do you really think that I--" Jun began before suddenly jolting, pressing one palm to his forehead. "I.... What.... I feel her drifting away from me...." He started, flinging himself forward so suddenly against the bars of his cell that Kyon reflexively extended an arm before Yuki protectively. "Don't!" he howled, suddenly shrieking. "Don't take her away from me! Thief! Defiler! You ruin everything!"

Yuki seized Kyon's arm and pulled him down the hall; he followed without resistance as Jun reached through the bars, unable to touch either of them. They passed another cell, where Ryuguu was starting to scream back at Jun to shut up, and then another cell where Watanabe sat on the floor with a dour expression, cards arrayed before him for a game of solitaire. "I have identified the source," Yuki announced, as the group of police and NPA agents stormed into the hall, unable to see the pair of them.

"An item of apparel belonging to Asakura Ryouko," she responded. "Most likely in Yamane Jun's place of residence. We should go there now."

After reaching Tsuruya's home, Mikuru took Kanae to the taller girl's room and they changed from their uniforms into casual kimono. Mikuru didn't mind wearing the outfits ever since Haruhi had introduced her to them. They were actually Tsuruya's preferred clothing, around the house -- and they were fairly easy to adjust to various sizes, so Kanae could wear one of Tsuruya's older robes with no problem.

They were mostly all the same blue with green patterned diamonds on the sleeves, and dressing up managed to cheer Kanae a little, even if she didn't smile. But not long after they had settled in, comfortably nestled in the ludicrously over sized couch before the equally over sized television in the family room, Tsuruya had to excuse herself to attend some 'family business'.

It wasn't the first time Mikuru had stayed in Tsuruya's home without her, but doing so while also looking after Kanae was a bit new. She didn't have much of a rapport with the slider, and had resolved that this time, she was going to stand up and be useful for the brigade. Keeping half an eye on the other girl, she rifled through Tsuruya's anime collection until she found salvation.

Salvation was a strange girl with a magical girl outfit, a giant quill in one hand, and two different colored eyes. Was that what had inspired Haruhi to make her wear the colored contact lens for her movie? There was a stack of boxes covering several seasons, but Mikuru remembered that Kanae was a fan of the show, too.

"Oh, Kanae-chan, is this show good?" she asked, holding the box up and turning it toward the slider.

Kanae blinked, seeming to only just then come aware of her surroundings. "Y...yeah," she allowed, frowning. "But ... recent things, they always change, so I have a bit of a hard time following the plot, really."

Something else the slider was unhappy about.... Mikuru brightened, realizing that this was an opportunity. "Well, that's going to change!" she said decisively, putting the first disc in. Kanae looked at her, confused. "You're staying with us until you leave because you want to, not because ... strange people are chasing you. So we can watch this version of," she double-checked the title, "Magical Pretty Soldier: Trope-Tan, right?"

The slider gave a reluctant nod. "I suppose," she allowed, as Mikuru wrestled with the remote to skip a needless array of advertisements for other shows, and finally got to the main menu. "I mean.... I'd like to think that...."

"Then have faith in Kyon-kun," Mikuru said resolutely. She hit 'play all', and blinked at the upbeat, peppy intro music. "So, like Suzumiya-san said, trust in your friends, right?"

"B...but ... I can't do anything to help Sempai!" Kanae protested, shaking her head. "I'm not really even good at sliding, and that's my only power!"

Mikuru sat on the couch next to Kanae, and put one arm around the other girl comfortingly. "Well, worry about that later," she insisted. "If you really want to do something for Kyon-sem-" She giggled, realizing she had slipped into Kanae's term of address. "Kyon-kun, I mean. If you want to help him, then trust him! And then, if you think that's not enough, maybe at some point, take a break from learning how to slide better, and learn something else!"

"I did," Kanae mumbled, bowing her head. "I didn't learn martial arts, like Sempai.... But I learned how to escape from being grabbed, and run better, because...."

Mikuru stifled a sigh and gave her warmest smile to the slider. "Then hope you don't need to use that, and for now, just relax and trust in Kyon-kun."

Kanae gave a doubtful nod, straightening as the opening sequence ended, and the scene of a typical anime schoolgirl waking up and being late for school began. "I don't think I've seen this one," Kanae murmured, watching the schoolgirl hurriedly run down the street, a piece of toast in her mouth as she tripped over a spotted brown and white dog. Kanae's eyes widened and a tiny spark of excitement came into her eyes. "Oh! It's Tropey! They usually end up putting him on a bus in later seasons!"

"A bus?" Mikuru wondered, as 'Tropey' began to explain Magical Pretty Soldier Trope-tan's destiny.

"Yeah," Kanae explained, "see, the bus is a one-way connection between Neo-Tropeyo and the next higher plane of existence, where all of Trope-tan's powers come from." Mikuru nodded her understanding, as Kanae let herself be distracted by the anime. Even though it was fairly interesting, and exceedingly well drawn ... she couldn't help but think she had seen it -- or something very like it at some point before. Why did it feel so familiar...?

Still, she was confident that spending some time near Kyon would help settle Kanae, and being teleported away for the nightly lessons would be less calming. Nodding thoughtfully as Trope-tan completed her first transformation sequence in an explosion of film reels, novel pages, and manga covers, Mikuru resolved to call Yuki and ask her to change locations for the nightly lesson as soon as Tsuruya returned from whatever work she was doing. That would let Kanae see Kyon and remain in a hopefully comforting environment.

It was either much easier than previous transitions, or Kyon was becoming far too used to the effect.

He found himself standing on the street near an unfamiliar row of houses. The block of homes were nearly identical two-story affairs, laid out with more thought to conserve space than his own home, but each building had its own single-story cement wall and a steel gate leading to the doorway proper. The space between the wall and the house was minuscule, making the back yard of his parents' home seem spacious in the extreme.

The neighborhood looked decent, and Kyon tried not to be judgmental, but couldn't help but think it suggested that Yamane's family was less well-off than his own. He shook his head to dismiss the thought as unworthy, turning his attention to Yuki, still clinging to his arm.

She shook her head, pointing at the nearest doorway. "That is Yamane Jun's registered address. Most likely, the item is located among his personal effects."

"How did you know his address if you can't tell where the thing we're looking for is?"

Slowly turning her gaze to him, she blinked. "Yamane Jun's place of residence was listed in the student directory," she replied.

Kyon felt himself smiling softly in spite of everything. With so much access to unusual powers, he'd overlooked the most obvious method. "Right," he said. "Good thinking to check that. Now we just need to figure out how to get inside." The illumination spilling out of the ground floor windows suggested that someone was home, but there was no way he wanted to deal with talking to the parents of the boy who had shot him, if he could help it.

Yuki released his arm and stared at a window on the upper floor briefly. Without any further warning, she leaped, hopping as though weightless to the wall surrounding the house, then again, to the top of the roof. She flipped off the edge, dangling from the peaked slope one-handed as her other hand pressed against the glass of the window before it silently slid open. With an effortless swing, she slipped into the room, then turned around, looking at him expectantly.

Mentally gauging the distance, Kyon deduced that his chances of mimicking her were abysmal, at best. Still.... Hoping the very nice coat wouldn't interfere with his movements, he dashed into motion, not even trying to leap to the top of the wall. Instead, he threw himself at it in a shorter jump, thinking to grab the edge and vault onto it. The process was not quite as smooth as he'd hoped, and he ended up scrambling to get there.

Still, to his credit, he did make it, and he was moderately proud of getting it on his first attempt. However, leaping the distance from the wall to the window was going to be a much more difficult trick. Crouched low on the wall, suddenly self-conscious of how he would look if anyone happened to see him, he scurried around the corner, to where the barrier was closer to the slope of the roof.

It was more roundabout, but once he passed the yard he had callously labeled 'tiny', yet far too large for him to leap across, he steeled himself and leaped at the side of the house, just barely grabbing the edge of the rooftop. Thanks to the training that Yuki had instilled into him, he found he was able to pull himself onto the roof in a minute. Trying his best to be quiet, he worked his way to the part of the rooftop that Yuki had used to swing into the room.

Suddenly realizing he was climbing across the peaked roof of a two-story house in the dead of night, he wanted to smack himself. Why was he doing something this insane?

His view of the shadowy ground below was broken when Yuki leaned out the open window and gazed up at him.

That was right, he reminded himself, carefully lowering his body, not nearly as stylishly or smoothly as Yuki had. She withdrew into the room, allowing him to swing in after her. He landed at her side, and she took a moment to study him before gesturing, saying, "I have dampened sound in this room. We will not be heard from outside."

"Great," he managed, his heart slightly unsteady from the alarming action. "Is it safe to turn on the light?"

She nodded in response, so he fumbled for the switch, squinting as his eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness.

Jun's room wasn't quite the den of iniquity that Kyon had been expecting. Instead, it was clean -- immaculate, even. Every single object was placed just so, from the neatly made bed, to the laptop at the desk. A pad of paper was perfectly square with the edges of the desk and laptop, and pencils and pens were lined up in an orderly array of descending length, ending with an eraser.

Yuki scanned the room visually, then went to the laptop and flipped it open, tapping at keys hesitantly. Judging that Yuki could handle the laptop without his help, he checked the room again. Bed, desk, closet, a dresser, a single chair, no carpet, no posters, no pictures.... If if weren't for the fact that Yuki seemed absorbed in checking the computer, he'd wonder if they got the wrong room.

He ran a hand over the top of the dresser, frowning at the realization that it was very like his own, then turned his attention to the bed. Yuki tapped at keys on the laptop while he checked beneath the pillow -- nothing. The mattress had nothing beneath it, either. There were a handful of boxes beneath the bed, filled with personal possessions -- old report cards, old cameras ... there was too much dust on them for whatever they were looking for to have been in them recently.

Sliding the boxes back into place, he looked over Yuki's shoulder, where she was busily scanning through files. "Anything?" he asked.

She shook her head in negation, closing the laptop and turning the closet. It opened to reveal more boxes, clothes hanging as they should be, and a few shelves, covered with more camera parts. Kyon made a face, leaning against the dresser again before something occurred to him. "Wait," he said slowly, as Yuki froze, reaching for the first box in the closet.

After a moment to pull out the lowest drawer of the dresser, he peered inside to look beneath it, and grimaced. "Oh, uh ... wow," he managed. "I'm pretty sure I found it."

Yuki moved to his side to look inside the dresser with him, blinking at a pair of slightly faded blue gym shorts. The inner waistband was visible, and evidently Asakura Ryouko had written her name there at some point in permanent marker.

"And this ... is what got me shot," Kyon sighed, shaking his head. "Amazing. So, what do we do now? Burn it?"

After staring at the bloomers for a long, quiet moment, Yuki shook her head. "I will extract the data. Creation or destruction of data is beyond my means at this point. However, manipulation of this data should still be possible."

"You want to take the crazy Asakura bits left in this pair of old gym shorts to use them later?" Kyon guessed, looking at Yuki in consternation. "Setting aside how disturbing that idea is for now, are you sure it's safe? Couldn't it be a trap?"

"There is a possibility that some trap exists," Yuki acknowledged. "However, it is exceedingly unlikely that Asakura Ryouko prepared it in expectation of her defeat. The more significant probability is that this data was established to serve some function designed to assist her, and Yamane Jun corrupted it via contact."

"I'll take your word for it that it can happen that way," Kyon decided, crossing his arms over his chest. "But what's the safest possible way to handle this thing?"

Yuki hesitated. "Direct contact with the data can be avoided," she allowed. "An alternate storage location will be required."

"Right, so, what could we use?" He rummaged through his pockets, but found only his keys, wallet, and cell phone. He pulled the phone from his pocket and studied it, frowning. Risking his picture collection for this was really not an appealing idea....

"W...wait!" he protested. "I don't want to lose the data on this phone! I mean, it's...."

Yuki blinked at him, then went to the desk, touching her fingertips on the large eraser near the pencils and staring at it fixedly. After contemplating, she picked up the eraser. Returning to the dresser, she touched it against the gym shorts, which then collapsed into nothingness, leaving not even dust behind.

Straightening, Yuki looked at the eraser thoughtfully, then presented it to Kyon. "Keep this," she instructed.

"Why is that?" he asked, managing a half-smile. At that moment, as though to underscore the oddity of the situation, his phone began to ring. Wincing and looking at the door worriedly, he answered, dismissing the eraser in Yuki's hand for the moment. "Hello?"

"Um, Kyon-kun," Mikuru's voice came, breathy and slightly hushed, as though to keep from being overheard. "Um, I tried calling Nagato-san, but there was no answer -- could you ask her a favor for me, if you see her?"

"Um ... since Kanae-chan is already here with me and Tsuruya, could you ask Nagato-san to bring you and herself to us, instead of bringing us to her apartment tonight?"

"No problem," he agreed, as Yuki put the drawer back into the dresser, leaving the room the way they had found it, except for the loss of the eraser and the opened window. "Do you think Kanae-chan will be up for that, though? Is she doing alright?"

"Um ... she's still a bit shaken ... but Tsuruya and I are watching over her, so she's doing better. Well ... I think she'd do even better if she saw you. So I'm sure she won't mind; really, why don't you ask her tonight before we begin?"

He looked at the phone to verify she had disconnected, then turned his attention to Yuki. "Alright," he said, reluctantly, not eager to carry something so closely linked with Asakura. "Why exactly should I have this, though?"

"You can not be influenced by such data in the manner of Yamane Jun or potentially myself," Yuki said. Her eyes went to the door, as a creak sounded from outside. "We should depart."

As much as he wanted to ask her for more details, he really didn't want to be caught trespassing in Jun's room by his parents. Flicking the light switch off, he quickly asked, "Can you take us to Tsuruya's place? You remember where her room is, right?"

Kanae was really uncertain what to make of her current situation. She'd spent so long running that being trapped.... She had expected if she were well and truly trapped it would be by her enemies -- except, the one time they had captured her, the long-haired vulgar boy shooting her with a gun very like the one her sempai now wielded, she'd gotten away.

Now the people who called her allies insisted on her staying with them, even if it meant blocking her ability to slide. She thought that she should be grateful, and she should be happy that the people around her wanted to help her so much ... but at the root of it, even with the entire Trope-tan anime, she was just scared. What if, even though they meant well, her friends weren't strong enough to handle what was to come?

What if they somehow failed, and she was captured? But ... Mikuru was trying so hard to cheer her up, and Tsuruya was, too. They were surprisingly comforting presences, even though a small part of her mind wanted to regard them as captors. That wasn't fair, though. They wanted to help, and she knew she should accept that help.

All that being said, as she and the other girls changed out of their kimono and into more comfortable, loose robes to sleep, she couldn't help but wish that her sempai was there.

And then, quite suddenly, he was. He was wearing that very nice coat that Mikuru had made, and Haruhi and Yuki had made somehow even better for him. Yuki was standing at his side, and she couldn't help but stare with a small bit of jealousy at the fact that Yuki was holding one of her sempai's hands. Even if that hand was coated in a black skin-tight glove, like a layer of paint at the moment.

Her sempai opened his eyes then blinked, staring at her, and quickly screwed his eyes shut. "Sorry," he managed, his face reddening.

Mikuru, to one side, let a nervous squeak escape as she dived into her robes. Tsuruya, with her robe on, but not belted, grinned and waved excitedly at the boy. "Kyon-kun~!" she called. "Are you going to sleeps with us tonight?"

Her own face heating up alarmingly, Kanae hurriedly closed her own robe and tied it up. "Tsuruya-san!" she cried out. "Y...your robe is open!"

Tsuruya blinked, looking down at herself, then shrugged, closing her garment and knotting the sash. "No worries," she said cheerfully. "You can look now, Kyon-kun!"

"Er," he managed. "S...sorry about that. Um, Nagato brought us here directly, and I didn't think.... Well, my fault-- Sorry again."

"I...it's no problem for me," Mikuru managed, blushing and staring at her feet. "It's my fault, too ... I asked you to come here, after all."

Yuki blinked expressionlessly, then turned her gaze to Kanae's sempai. "Er," he said, turning to look at Yuki, as the black skin-tight substance seemed to flow away, vanishing into his wristwatch. "Um, you don't need to think it's your fault; you were just following my instructions." She nodded slightly in response.

He turned back to Tsuruya, and looked like he was about to say something else when the door to Tsuruya's room slid open, and one of her maids crept in unobtrusively, carrying two pairs of slippers and folded robes. "Your shoes, Kyon-dono, Nagato-san," the maid said very quietly, setting the slippers on the floor and kneeling between Tsuruya and Yuki.

"Sorry!" the boy yelped, looking aghast at the realization he was still wearing his outdoor shoes. He quickly pulled them off and handed them to the maid, bowing in apology. Though she seemed indifferent, Yuki also doffed hers.

Kanae's sempai stared after her in consternation. "She is good," he muttered. Shaking his head, he turned his attention back to Tsuruya. "Anyway, I'm sorry again about the sudden arrival. I, uh, wouldn't mind staying over, but I get the idea that Haruhi might not appreciate that so much -- and like I said the last time you offered, I don't think I'd get enough sleep...."

"Next times, then!" Tsuruya said cheerfully, winking. "Haru-nyan's on her way over, anyway, nyoro~! Next time I'll ask after she's here, so you can't say no!"

"Tsuruya," Mikuru said, still blushing, "y...you shouldn't tease Kyon-kun like that."

"Tease?" Tsuruya asked, looking at Mikuru in surprise. "I invited Kyon-kun to stay heres with me and you when you were 'Michiru', once, but he's too polite."

"Nyahah~!" Tsuruya chuckled. "Ooh! Kanae-chan, Nagato-chi, you should let me and Mikuru take pictures of you for Kyon-kun's collections~! Won't that be nice, Kyon-kun?"

Kanae's sempai scratched the back of his head and stared at the ceiling, his face slightly red. "Um, well, that wouldn't be too bad, I mean--" He coughed and shook his head. "N...never mind that for now, though."

Kanae wasn't sure what he was talking about, but she wouldn't have minded if her sempai wanted a picture of her. And as glad as she was that he was around, the heat in her face had finally faded to reasonable levels. "Um, Sempai, what did Asahina-san ask you to come here for?" she managed.

He blinked, straightening, then shook his head again. "It's just that since you and Asahina-san are already here, it should be easier for Nagato when we train tonight," he explained.

"Ooh! I heard abouts that!" Tsuruya exclaimed, clapping her hands together excitedly. "Can I go, too? It sounds fun!"

"Well ... I don't know," Kanae's sempai admitted. Turning to Yuki, he asked, "Is that possible?"

The stoic girl blinked slowly, studying Tsuruya as though sizing her up. "Possible," she allowed.

"Ah, but then, Haruhi can't," he realized aloud, grimacing. "And you said she's coming over. I think it might not be very nice for her if we all left her alone, though."

Tsuruya nodded thoughtfully at the boy, then grinned at Yuki. "I understand. Nagato-chi, if it's no trouble, I'd like to go along some other time! Okies?"

"Speaking of which," her sempai noted, checking his wristwatch, "we should take care of that -- then Nagato and I should get home. But before that, how are you doing, Kanae-chan? Are you feeling a bit better?"

Realizing that it was the truth, since he was there, she said, "A little bit, Sempai."

Just as he was about to congratulate himself on becoming used to the jarring transitions of teleporting, quasi-dimensional sliding, and time travel, Kyon opened his eyes only to be smacked in the face with a pillow forcefully enough to send him stumbling backward, crashing to the floor tangled up with another person. Dazed, eyes closed and stinging, he sighed and asked, "Haruhi? Was that you?"

"Wah!" Haruhi exclaimed. "Seriously? You can tell it's me because of how the pillow hit you?"

"I can tell it's you because you hit me with a pillow at all," he countered, squinting, realizing that he'd knocked Kanae down when he fell. She was staring at him curiously, sprawled half across him, one of her arms pinned behind his head. "Sorry," he mumbled, helping her up.

"I don't mind!" she said cheerfully, seeming to genuinely mean it, her seemingly eternal blush not fading.

He decided it was another one of those things he was best off not thinking about. One he was standing, he glanced around, not surprised to see Haruhi and Tsuruya peeking at him from behind a low barrier made of stacked pillows. "Anyway," Haruhi said, waving another pillow menacingly, "we got left out of your whole training thing and set up an ambush. Bah, what kind of action hero are you if you get knocked down by a pillow?"

"A tired one," he muttered. She suddenly launched the pillow at him, and he snatched it, ducking in the same motion so her next flung pillow passed over him, smacking Kanae in the face.

"Suzumiya-san, you must be careful!" Mikuru protested, running to the slider's side.

Yuki watched impassively, and Kyon dropped the pillow he had caught instead of throwing it back. "Oh, come on!" Haruhi complained. "Aren't you going to try and play?"

"It's late, and I didn't tell my parents I was going out," he answered, turning around to help Kanae up again. "I'd rather not try and explain this to my mother. Hmm, yeah, she'd love that. 'Where were you?' 'Oh, you know, just having a pillow fight in a girl's bedroom until around midnight. Nothing special.'" Shaking his head, he added, "I'm happy to have not gotten grounded for being put in the hospital -- best not tempt fate."

"Don't worry about it, Kanae-chan; if you insist on calling me 'Sempai', I'd best live up to that title for you, right?"

Pouting, Haruhi stood, crossing her arms over her chest. "I guess," she grumbled. "Yeah, making your mom mad would be--" She was cut off when Kyon suddenly kicked the pillow he had dropped on the floor, sending it flying into her chest and making her wobble unsteadily. She narrowed her eyes, then smirked. "I'll let that one pass for now," she said in a warning tone, waggling a finger at Kyon. "But don't be late and make your mother mad! That's worse than any penalty I'd assign."

"Shoes," Yuki replied, turning her gaze from one of the pillows on the floor to him.

After Yuki and Kyon teleported away, things at Tsuruya's settled down. As Haruhi had expected, Kanae had calmed after spending time with Tsuruya and Mikuru. Kyon's presence, especially, seemed to calm her.... Which Haruhi could understand well enough.

Then again, she still had to sit down with Yuki and explain at length what the ongoing plan was. She had conveyed it to Tsuruya, though Mikuru was still charmingly in-the-dark, but it wouldn't work if she didn't trust the others with what the plan was.

Yuki first, she decided. She and Tsuruya would have to find some opportunity to corner the girl and explain things to her. Then Mikuru, and finally Kanae. For the time being, Kanae would probably just be confused, possibly even thinking it was staged specifically to reassure her. Thinking about that, Haruhi drifted off to sleep, dreaming about flying through the sky, sentai-style, with Kyon and the rest of the brigade, to fight evil aliens.

She was woken up before breakfast by Tsuruya tickling her nose with a peacock feather. Kanae was already awake, sitting up and rubbing one eye in typical moe fashion. Haruhi quickly grabbed her camera and snapped a picture of the slider's sleepily surprised expression, then Tsuruya grinned and handed Haruhi another feather. Kanae was handed the camera while the older girls sneaked up to Mikuru, curled up on one side, and they started tickling her nose.

After an adorable, petite sneeze, the time traveler managed to wake, unconsciously mirroring the slider's gesture as she rubbed at her eyes, while Kanae obligingly snapped several pictures. "Whaaa..." Mikuru mumbled, before yawning hugely, which Haruhi noted with a small surge of jealousy threatened to burst her sleeping outfit open. No sense letting Kyon get a picture of that, though; he'd never be able to concentrate again.

After breakfast, Tsuruya showed them to her over sized bath, and had clean kimono brought in for Mikuru and Kanae, since they hadn't had time to grab their own clothing before heading to the Tsuruya household the day before. Feeling a bit left out, Haruhi was pleased when Tsuruya offered her a kimono, too. She did have her own clothes, but dressing up for fun was nice, too....

And the robes that Tsuruya offered were of much higher quality than the pretty but cheap clothing that Haruhi had picked out during the endless summer vacation. Shortly after that, Yuki, Kyon, and Koizumi arrived together.

Haruhi didn't see it, but guessed that they had gotten a ride together from Arakawa or Mori. Tsuruya chirped a bright greeting at the trio as they changed shoes in the entryway. Koizumi was sharply dressed, as always, while Kyon's clothing was more casual; jeans, an undershirt, and an unbuttoned flannel. Haruhi frowned slightly, realizing that Yuki was still wearing her school uniform, even though it was a weekend.... Her eyes widened at the realization that this was a perfect opportunity.

"Hmm, Tsuruya-san, do you have any kimono that would fit Yuki-chan?" she asked, looking at the taller girl.

Tsuruya nodded. "One size fits many!" she said happily. "She'll fits some of my older ones, just like Kanae-chan! This way, Nagato-chi!"

"Don't you dare try to peek!" Haruhi warned Kyon over her shoulder, as Yuki followed Tsuruya and Haruhi placidly.

Kyon shrugged, rolling his eyes, then greeted Kanae and Mikuru, while Koizumi held out a bag containing the DVDs for the anime they were going to watch. After that, they had passed from sight, into Tsuruya's room. The taller girl traipsed happily to her closet and slid the door open. Behind the door was an extensive array of formal kimono, as well as a small selection of high quality dresses in assorted colors.

"Let's see, let's see.... What's a good colors for Nagato-chi?" she mused, flipping through the robes. "Ah! How about this? I think Kyon-kun would like you in this~!" The pattern was the same as the others, except the main color was more of a sea-green than blue.

Yuki's expression barely shifted, but it went from tolerant to mildly interested. If Haruhi hadn't been looking for it, she was positive she never would have caught it. "Hey, Tsuruya-san, while we've got some privacy here, we should talk about him with Yuki-chan, shouldn't we?" Haruhi noted.

Tsuruya cocked her head to one side, the kimono half pulled from the closet, then grinned, nodding her agreement. "Yeah! Good thinking, Haru-nyan."

"Um ... Yuki-chan," Haruhi tried, unable to meet the shorter girl's eyes, "you said once that you liked Kyon, but you needed someone else to tell you if he liked you, right?"

"Well ... he does. And I know I said you could 'borrow' him, but ... I learned from Auntie Rika -- er, that is, Kyon's aunt, that it maybe doesn't work that way. Um, what I'm trying to say, then, is that ... it's okay if you want to date Kyon, as long as that's what he wants, too. But, the plan is that he can do that with any of us, right? Just like ... Mikuru-chan asked if she could go on a date with Kyon, and wanted you to come, too. Do you understand?"

Haruhi had never seen Yuki struggle for words before, but the girl creased her forehead slightly in contemplation, obviously thinking about it very hard. "A little bit," she answered.

"The practical plan," Tsuruya said, grinning, "is that we can all be with Kyon-kun~! I think that's quite fine, nyoro!"

Yuki tilted her head back and looked up, blinking. "Interesting," she finally remarked.

"D...does that sound good to you, though?" Haruhi asked, trying to cling to her confidence.

"Optimal," Yuki agreed, nodding, turning her gaze back to Haruhi. "I am unfamiliar with protocol in these situations. I ... appreciate the opportunity to observe others."

"You mean, you want to watch us on dates with Kyon-kun so you can figures out how to do it yourself?" Tsuruya asked, giggling. "Silly Nagato-chi -- you'll do fine on your owns! Aside from which, Kyon-kun wouldn't want you to just try and copy other peoples; wouldn't he says it would be better to be yourself?"

Yuki blinked, turning to study Tsuruya thoughtfully. Haruhi was slightly taken aback as well, but thought that Tsuruya was most likely right. "I ... see," the shorter girl said.

"Howevers..." Tsuruya said with a broad wink, leaning forward and pressing one fingertip to the side of her lips. "If I ever get Kyon-kun to likes me enough to ask me out on a date, I'll let you watch me, anyways, if you really like~!"

"I think he likes you just fine, Tsuruya," Haruhi opined, taking the kimono that Tsuruya had picked out and presenting it to Yuki. "Now, Yuki-chan, go ahead and change. We just thought it would only be fair at this point to explain what the plan was ... and see if you wanted to be part of it. That time that we were all ... around Kyon after he got hurt, that wasn't meant to be a fluke, but it shouldn't only happen after something like that."

"Understood," Yuki replied, accepting the offered kimono, and giving Haruhi and Tsuruya a look that wasn't quite a smile.

Mikuru gave a slightly nervous smile to Koizumi and Kyon as they watched Haruhi and Tsuruya lead Yuki away for her own Kimono. "Good morning, Asahina-san, Kanae-chan," Kyon said, smiling.

"Good morning, Sempai," Kanae said, giving him a shy, cautious smile. "Um ... thank you ... for yesterday. And especially last night."

Koizumi sighed, his smile not fading, but becoming very forced. "I hope we can all enjoy the anime that Suzumiya-san chose for us," he commented, following Mikuru and Kanae as they led the way to the plush living room with the giant television screen.

"Oh, yeah, what was that one about, anyway?" Kyon asked, flopping onto one of the couches and sprawling out, knuckling back a yawn. "Sorry, a bit tired from last night."

Mikuru was positive one of Koizumi's eyebrows twitched at that. "It's titled 'Kamichu', and it seems to be a story of a middle-school student who suddenly finds that she is a god," the esper answered, setting the discs down by the player, near the stack of Trope-tan discs that Kanae and Mikuru had watched the previous day. He sat on the other couch with a good deal more refinement, cautiously lowering himself.

Kanae sat immediately at Kyon's left, and Mikuru reluctantly shared the couch Koizumi had chosen. Undoubtedly, Haruhi was going to want to sit next to Kyon, as well, and Mikuru couldn't bring herself to try and oust the slider.

"No, really?" Kyon marveled, raising an eyebrow. "That seems ... well, interesting, to say the least."

"Somewhat like Suzumiya-san?" Kanae asked, innocently edging a tiny bit closer to Kyon, her face the eternally pink blush it always seemed to be in his presence.

"Not especially," Koizumi replied, ratcheting his smile slightly wider. "It's more in the traditional sense. She must tend to area shrines and answer prayers, as I understand it. I hear it's more oriented to girls than boys."

"Was there something you would rather have watched?" Koizumi asked, arching one eyebrow higher.

"I can't really think of anything," Kyon admitted, grinning. "I don't especially find myself in the mood for a shounen action series."

"I've heard this is very cute," Mikuru supplied. "Tsuruya has seen it, I think. You know, I think she watches a lot of anime?"

"If that library is any indication," he replied, gesturing to the collection of boxed sets lining the shelves on either side of the screen.

"She's got the entire Trope-tan series in boxed sets," Kanae commented helpfully, edging another centimeter or so closer to Kyon. "We watched almost all of the first season last night!"

He sat up suddenly, leaning forward and peering at the boxes she indicated, then nodding. "Imouto loves that series," he remarked.

"Sorry about the delay!" Haruhi cheered, breaking into the room without warning, Tsuruya and Yuki flanking her. Haruhi eyed the seating arrangement, and nodded decisively, taking a seat next to Kyon, as Mikuru had expected. "Sit here, Tsuruya-san!" she called, patting the small amount of space between her and Kyon.

Seeming unsurprised, Kyon scooted slightly closer to Kanae to give Tsuruya room. Yuki blinked, then took the seat between Koizumi and Mikuru. Why would Haruhi want Tsuruya closer to Kyon, Mikuru wondered. Hopefully Haruhi wasn't upset with Kyon.... That would be no good at all!

"You picked this anime out, right, Haruhi?" Kyon asked, as Tsuruya nonchalantly stretched her arms over her head, incidental nudging Kyon slightly closer to Kanae, who perked up, but said nothing.

"Yeah, I found it on the website that inspired the Trope-tan anime -- seriously, you guys should check that place out. Anyway, Kyon, go put in the first disc!"

"Right, right," he sighed, rising to his feet and ambling over to the entertainment center, rifling through the boxes and setting everything up. "Easier than last night...."

"What happened last night?" Mikuru wondered, noting that Koizumi flinched at that question, for some reason.

"Eh, Nagato and I sneaked into the police station to track down some mystery 'corrupt data' or something that was making Jun crazy," Kyon said absently, loading the first disc into the player, then sauntering back to the couch. Mikuru stifled a giggle, realizing that both Kanae and Tsuruya had shifted slightly closer to where he had been sitting.... Still, she thought, they'd better be careful not to upset Haruhi.

"Really?" Haruhi asked, raising her eyebrows. "You broke into a police station?"

"Nagato 'stealthed' us, so we were invisible," he said dismissively. "After that we went to Jun's place and got the ... data that was causing the problem in the first place."

"Excellent work!" the brigade chief said, nodding enthusiastically. "So, what kind of power-up did you get from it?"

He gave her a strange look and pulled an eraser from his pocket. "I didn't. It was dangerous, so I asked Nagato to seal it away. See?" He wiggled the eraser.

Haruhi stared, her smile fading as she looked very unimpressed. "It's an eraser," she said flatly.

"Well, if it's dangerous, containing it seems safer than using it," Koizumi offered. "It seems quite reasonable to me."

"Oh, come on, I don't want to have to remember a billion different things," Kyon protested, shaking his head and staring at the eraser. "I can keep track of the jacket and -- that other thing, but what else are you going to insist on?"

"Sounds like you need a PDA," Haruhi said, crossing her arms and raising one eyebrow. "Like a new cell phone with all those neat features on it."

"Hmm, well, a new phone would be kind of nice," he admitted, rubbing his chin. "But I have, er, some data I'd need to transfer over."

Mikuru felt her face redden, but couldn't deny the tiny surge of pride at that. He was talking about the pictures she and Tsuruya had sent him, right? Surely that meant he had liked them.... Maybe she could ask Tsuruya if it would be okay to send another...?

Haruhi nodded, not seeing the time traveler's reaction. "Anyway, that data you found last night can become a useful new PDA or something for Kyon, right Yuki-chan?" she asked.

The shorter girl nodded in answer, rising from her seat and walking to Kyon, then holding one hand out expectantly. "I can trust you," Kyon mumbled, reluctantly handing it over, "even if I am nervous about using this...."

In Yuki's hands, the eraser seemed to wobble and melt, before reshaping itself into something larger, a rectangular prism that coalesced into a shiny looking new phone. "Here," Yuki said, offering it toward Kyon.

He accepted it, turning it over in his hands and examining it thoroughly. "Does it do anything neat?" Kanae asked hesitantly, incidentally leaning so close to Kyon that they were almost touching to try and peer at the device as well.

"It is capable of learning," Yuki answered, walking back to her original seat with her usual silent, weightless seeming steps.

"Awesome, my new phone slash PDA is Skynet," Kyon deadpanned. "Is it going to go crazy and get stab-happy on me?"

Yuki shook her head, while Tsuruya began to laugh, clutching her sides as she leaned on Kyon. "Is that the end of the world in your pockets, or are you just happy to see us?" she chortled, before breaking into even harder laughter.

"Well, what else do you need, Kyon?" Haruhi asked, unable to resist smirking at Tsuruya's infectious laughter. "You were able to sneak into a police station, and then break into Jun's house undetected, right?"

"Only with Nagato's help," he admitted, already fiddling with his phone. Kanae made a subdued cooing sound, staring at the thing with wide eyes as he flipped through various functions. "Oh, huh, it tracks that ... other thing I picked up and tells me the charge level. That's handy."

"I don't think it's necessarily a good thing to be skilled at breaking into police stations or houses," Mikuru offered timidly.

"I agree," Koizumi echoed, nodding. "Not to be too presumptuous, but ... don't you have people more capable of that who answer to you?"

"Gots to lead by example," Tsuruya countered, shaking her head as she recovered, but still leaning against Kyon.

"That's very true," Haruhi agreed. "So, tell us about the break in! How did you do it?"

"Nagato jumped from the street to the roof of Jun's house, like an anime ninja," he answered absently. "I followed with a series of significantly more mortal jumps, and eventually managed to climb up next to her. She opened the window from the outside, and then we went in. Nagato's quite adept at that sort of thing, so once we were inside, she made it so that any noises we made wouldn't be heard, and we searched the room until we found the bl-- Uh, the corrupted data thingy."

Haruhi's smile had faded, and she gave Kyon a disappointed stare. "So she did all the work, and you were lazy, following in her footsteps like usual," she surmised.

He looked up from the phone he was fiddling with, blinking, then nodded. "That sounds about right," he agreed. "I am just a normal person, you know. I wish I were able to do things like that by myself, so I wouldn't have to rely on Nagato so much, but...." He trailed off with a shrug.

"That goes on the to-do list, then," Haruhi decided. "A proper hero should be able to jump thirty meters, at least!"

"Sure thing," Kyon agreed, turning his attention back to his phone. "Anyway, are we going to start watching this anime?"

Haruhi gave a pointed glance to Yuki, who nodded at something Mikuru hadn't caught. What was that? Another secret she wasn't in on!? The time traveler was starting to get frustrated by this.... Maybe she should try and corner Kyon and ask him about it...? But it seemed like he might not know, either....

Koizumi coughed politely, holding up a remote. "If you'd like me to start the show, Suzumiya-san...?"

Koizumi nodded just as politely, eyes flicking to Kyon briefly before muttering so quietly that Mikuru wondered if it might be her imagination, "Though, it seems the show's already started...."

Akasaka Miyuki was her father's child. She adored her mother, too, but more than that, she took after her father. He joined the National Police Agency when he was young and idealistic, and in the days shortly before she was born, he had rescued a high ranking government official's son from a group of kidnappers.

Well, she didn't have any accolades nearly as impressive as that when she started her own NPA career, but she was smart. She paid attention to details, she was always cheerful, and more than anything else, she retained her father's inquisitive nature. She couldn't have avoided that, seeing as she had grown up with stories from her mother about how he was always being sent afield to investigate this, or that....

But he had finally finished those days, retreating to a desk job as she was entering college. And just as she was finally accepted into the force, he gracefully retired. She didn't mind that, though; she would have loved working with him on cases, but knew that having a family member on the active force would always cast doubt onto her accomplishments. That aside, the man had invested long, hard years into improving the force he worked for, always following the rules, and always respecting his ideals and the goals of the organization as a whole.

On one of the first assignments she had been trusted with any real responsibilities, a gas-refinery worker had rigged an oil tank to explode, and held his wife at knife-point in the harbor control tower. She told him that he was acting out of desperation that he didn't need to feel; it was never as bad as he thought it would be. Her inspiration for the speech that finally got the worker to surrender was all thanks to her father, and his stories of a trip he took to Hinamizawa in her younger days.

He wasn't alone, and being calm and rational would allow him to see things through without anyone getting hurt.

As a result of that and other accomplishments, she was the first female NPA officer to ever be promoted to the rank of Special Investigator in the Organized Crime division. From there, she'd forged ahead, happily overseeing operations destroying operations in the areas of smuggling, especially firearms and drugs. Her track record was nearly flawless, with no real errors -- just those lucky few criminals who were extradited, or escaped somehow.

Even then, she didn't let her closure rate bother her; she was easily a dozen points ahead of any of her colleagues. Mindful of that, she maintained their respect by respecting them, and never trying to boast. Indeed, she'd helped her fellow investigators out so much that no one was especially surprised to hear the rumors that she was being considered to replace the department chief's current aide, once he retired.

She wouldn't reject the promotion, if it were to come through, and weren't just a rumor.... But she would miss being able to do field work. Like her father, she felt she could tolerate a desk job. She just knew that she would only truly enjoy the more real feeling work of confronting criminals and examining evidence first hand, not perusing dockets and fighting bureaucracy.

A boy had been attacked in the streets of Nishinomiya. Attacked with a gun, not the more traditional knife. Gun smuggling was one of her pet projects; while it was dangerous, she dearly loved seeing her Special Assault Team cousins and their no-nonsense attitudes when it came time to crash a yakuza operation, ideally before they could properly ready the weapons they were trying to move.

In the temporary office she had been given in the main Nishinomiya police headquarters, she tabbed through pages of information on her laptop, and a much thicker stack of good old fashioned actual pages. Something about handling real documents was reassuring, too. Perusing the current file, she read over information she already knew.

There hadn't been just one gun, there had been three. The weapons were illegal, smuggled in. They also had consecutive serial numbers, which meant that the operation was dangerously exposed -- for the criminals. For her, people who couldn't bother to conceal such information were easier to track. The NPA as a whole shouldn't have too much trouble finding out what had happened.

There was more evidence, of course. And people to interview! Watanabe Daichi was a known member of the Sumiyoshi-rengo; he'd been caught before, for more minor offenses. Generally, in her mind, he was too small-time to be involved in such an operation. Even more intriguing, his own organization seemed to have no interest in pressuring the judge to back away from the case, or provide him with a lawyer!

That part was a bit of a pity; it probably meant that Watanabe Daichi didn't know very much, or that he'd gone and acted behind the backs of his superiors in his organization. She smiled anyway. Even if he didn't intend to cooperate, there were other leads, more interesting things to investigate.

From the same crime scene, there were two somewhat suspect police officers -- naturally, she didn't mention this to their superiors. That might arouse suspicion, so she'd only told her NPA colleagues about that part. The Tamaru brothers were being investigated by the financial office already ... there seemed to be a strange amount of money in their background, for a pair of police officers on relatively fixed income. Nothing solid, but the investigation was moving.

Then there were some of the witnesses, most of whom had been fooled into thinking that the genuine incident was a movie shooting. The mayor had pressured the NPA chief to leave that cover story intact, pleading that it made the city look terrible to acknowledge what amounted to children shooting children in the streets. It wasn't like they lived in America, after all. Also, there was enough evidence to support the claims that a movie was being produced ... without many of the proper permits. The movie seemed to be scrapped, given the fines, but those had already all been paid.

The statements from the victim's friends were uniform, and logical, and didn't have any holes in them.... And, Miyuki admitted, she hadn't spoken to a single one of them herself. But it was starting to veer toward that time, she thought, when she might have to take the stage.

One of those friends was the heiress to a known crime ring that was opposed to the Sumiyoshi-rengo, the Yamaguchi-gumi. The victim appeared -- to accounts -- to be that heiress's boyfriend. Was the shooting revenge for some other incident? Was the attack meant for her, and not him?

She was confident that it was more than just two criminal families fighting one-another. Daichi was either knowingly involved, and discarded as useless after failing, or had independently tried to cause the two factions to fight, most likely goaded by some third, currently unknown party.

All of that, of course, was ignoring the victim himself. He'd been shot, according to witnesses multiple times. But only one bullet had gotten to him. The medical records from the surgery were sound, and seemed reasonable. In addition, the hospital recorded video of all surgeries for insurance purposes.

Somehow, unfortunately, it seemed that the video of his surgery was lost. A few days after his hospitalization, a member of the Yamaguchi-gumi, the powerful figure of Tsuruya Kenshiro, had outright bought the institution. Coincidentally, most of the surgeons who had operated on the victim had immediately undertaken expensive out-of-country vacations, and weren't available for questioning about it. Those who remained insisted it was exceedingly routine.

Add in the fact that the victim had already been noted for criminal involvement with the two younger members of the group that had attacked him in the street.... A young tough who had joined with a powerful yakuza family?

A young tough so important that the head of the most powerful local family casually bought a hospital to try and cover some aspects of his involvement? Corruption hinted at in members of the police force?

She knew she was just scratching the surface of the mystery, but her latest bit of evidence was by far the most interesting.

Yamane Jun was not well. On a mental level, he was nearing the verge of collapse. Psychologists had examined him and determined that he was obsessive, fixated on some classmate of his that had mysteriously transfered to Canada nearly a year earlier. There was an investigation on that, too, but so far, the NPA hadn't even been able to prove that the classmate had ever existed, except for photographs and spotty school records.

Something about her, and that event, scarred him, and he'd become bent on revenge with the victim for some perceived slight, ranting uncontrollably, shaking off the effects of minor sedatives. If it weren't for the gun charges, he'd be in a hospital instead of jail.

But abruptly, something had made him snap. Something had happened to him and incited him, made his fury burn even hotter.

And then, strangely, it had burnt out, and he'd returned to something nearer to sanity, wailing that he wasn't in control of what he had done. That some other force twisted his mind, made him do things he would never do.

Miyuki tapped a fingernail against the screen of her laptop, reviewing the footage of the cell that Jun was still being held in.

And there, wearing an unfamiliar outfit, but the right size, the right general features, even with the coat and dark gloves.... The how was something she couldn't understand, so she just accepted that it appeared to happen, and focused instead on the why.

"Why did you suddenly appear for him, little boy?" she mused. "What makes a victim confront the one who attacked him ... and make him better? What did you say?"

She couldn't help but smile. If the ever-increasing rumors were true, this could be her last case before the seemingly inevitable promotion came through. "I don't know those things," she said quietly to her empty office, "but I do know you'll make a fascinating case, little boy.... They call you Kyon, hmm?" Her smile widened. She'd find out the truth. She'd understand the why, and then maybe investigate the how.

Clasping her hands together in her lap, she hummed, tilting her head from side to side. "But if you're linked to that Tsuruya heiress ... it won't be too hard to get you to come out, will it? Let's see what happens when this anthill is stirred~!"

Author's Notes: I tend to do my research, but opted for slightly more Action Movie-style organization for the NPA, so, don't take their representation here as entirely accurate with regards to what NPA officers actually DO. In the real world, they basically almost only do administrative work. In this story, they're a bit more like the FBI for a more interesting (I hope) narrative. >_>

Kyon: Big Damn Hero

Gearing Up Arc V

Chapter Twenty Three: Undercover Work