Kyon -- Big Damn Hero: The Stock Footage Chapter

Disclaimer: The novel series of Suzumiya Haruhi that began with 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints. TVtropes (the website) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License (and it's possible that this fic technically is, too; seems fair to me). Additional characters are borrowed from Higurashi, which is the creation of Ryukishi07.

"Chapter Two: Don't Just SAY You Have a Bad Feeling, DO Something About It!"

"...but I digress. When you get that feeling, you know the one, in the back of your head? The one that makes you think something is off about the situation? It may be right. Granted, you may also be tumbling headlong into a fit of paranoia that will end terribly for you and everyone you love. But what if you're NOT? Remember, if you're aware of things, you know most people think you're crazy anyway. Is it going to hurt that much more to overreact rather than just label something a false alarm?"

"Practical Heroism and You: Awareness" -- Tadamichi Kyousuke

Class had started innocently enough that day, but he'd long ago given up on expecting that to mean anything. With each passing moment after lunch, he grew more and more anxious, stealing glances behind him to make certain that she was still there -- still safe. And every time their eyes met, she smirked knowingly and quickly looked outside, trying to pretend eye contact was never made.

He was absolutely certain that if his sense of anxiety weren't imagined, she was the one behind it -- one way or another. When the fifth period bell rang, he was prepared. In a way, he'd always wanted to do this; exact that one tiny bit of revenge upon her for all the times she'd done it to him. So when she rose, turned in one smooth motion, and made to bolt out of the room--

--he was there first, seizing the decorative ties of her sailor uniform's neckerchief and making for the door at top speed. "Bwa!" she protested, arms waving frantically as she dashed to keep up, or risk the knot being pulled out. "What the hell do you think you're doing!?"

Naturally, he said nothing to her during the entire mad dash to the remote stairwell where she had first hauled him by his own tie, so long ago. He released her at the top of the steps after looking around to ensure that no one else was nearby. Her momentum carried her forward, resulting in him pressing one hand flat against her chest, just below her neck. Her eyes quickly sharpened, her features fixed into a scowl. "What the hell, Kyon!?"

Her irritation vanished instantly, replaced with wide-eyed excitement. She clapped her hands together and hopped from foot to foot. "Yes!" she cheered. "It's been so boring lately!"

"This better not be your fault!" He shook his head in irritation, then patted his left coat pocket. Then right, then both pants pockets, then the back of each hand. After that, he traced the fingertips of his right hand above his ear, eyes distant, and pulled his cell phone from one pocket.

"Maybe a false alarm," he admitted, shifting his shoulders. "Are you messing with me?"

"I should be asking you that! But whatever! You hauled me all the way out here -- by my shirt, I might add! -- so tongues are going to wag! If you're going to do this, then you know what I want!"

"Do it!" she said, bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement. "I want to see it!"

Heaving the sigh of the eternally doomed, he put his phone away and muttered underneath his breath.

"Do that voice, too! You know the one? Like from a movie voice-over guy? I love that! Do it! Come on!"

"Ahem," he coughed, shooting her a dark look. "Take a step back, I don't want to catch you in the interdiction field again."

Standing perfectly straight, hands at his sides, he closed his eyes, and began speaking in his best faux movie announcer voice-over: "Skinsuit active," as something that looked like nothing so much as black paint suddenly engulfed his entire body beneath his uniform. "Gravimetric stabilizers and secondary gyrometrics online," as ridged metal studs appeared on the back of each knuckle, and beneath his uniform pants, metallic vertical rails were described in the skinsuit. "Greatcoat thermoptic stealth disengaged," as a knee-length tan greatcoat coalesced, covering his shoulders with a thick mantle.

"Doesn't that get hot?" Her smile had only grown, her eyes shining with anticipation.

"We had environmental conditioning added last night, since the weather's heating up," he said in a normal voice. Switching back, he said, "Primary weapons check." He pulled a fifty centimeter long glittering metal cylinder from within the greatcoat, releasing it to spin on its axis in midair to one side, announcing, "Long range precision and high yield weaponry is at full charge." A circle of light appeared on the floor around him, a simple white ring with glittering sparks chasing around in either direction, sending brilliant flashes to streak upward.

Another cylinder, wider but shorter than the last was released to float next to the first. "Mid- and short-range crowd-control weaponry is at ... ninety seven percent capacity and charging," he continued, squinting at the featureless gunmetal tube. Pulling a well-crafted sword hilt with no cross-guard or blade from one pocket, he released it horizontally, and it hung before him between the other weapons. "Beam saber is at full capacity." After pulling his cell phone from one pocket, he brushed his fingertips over his ear, revealing three dull metal studs in the skinsuit. "All systems nominal; no proximity alarms--"

He broke off suddenly, scowling. "Okay," he said in his normal voice. "My mistake. We've got incoming."

"God damn it Kyon, you're so cool when you do this," Haruhi gushed, clapping her hands together. "What is it?"

"I'm not sure," he said, as a cold, familiar chuckle echoed. One eyebrow twitched and he stowed his weapons, banishing the ring of light and flinging his phone at Haruhi. "Speed dial two," he snapped. "Stay in the circle."

She pouted, but did as she was told, the ring of light reappearing on the floor around her this time.

"Kyon-kun~!" someone caroled up the stairwell, the echoing click of their shoes sounding as they climbed the stairs. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" The school bell chimed just as she rounded the landing, and he activated the beam saber. The blade made a crackling, whirring buzz and shed a soft, pale blue light. "Y...you...." she began, before she frowned, blinking, staring at the energy weapon.

"Long time no see," he said, switching stance to the long-sword style, Ni-Ten Ichi Ryu.

Haruhi bounced on her heels with a wide grin, holding Kyon's cell phone in both hands as she remained in the center of the glowing circle. "I knew it!" she cheered. "There was something off about Asakura! What is it?"

"She's alien," Kyon volunteered. "From the same place as Yuki-chan and Kimidori, but she tried to kill me once."

"Whaaaat? What did you do to make her mad?" Haruhi asked, looking at him in bemusement.

"Er," Asakura said, crossing her arms beneath her chest. "Evidently my information requires an update. I was sent to dispatch Kyon-kun, because he's become an undesirable element for my superiors. Really, I'd hoped to see a new state, maybe even provoke it with his death. But, those toys seem to say that's already happened! So disappointing ... I suppose if I'd been more patient, I could see it anyway?"

"I personally like to see it as a lesson on the effects of randomly stabbing people," Kyon muttered.

"Oh, it wasn't random," she countered. "It was highly specific! I put a whole two hours of thought into it, you know. For us, that's quite a while!"

"Blah blah blah," Haruhi muttered, crossing her arms over her chest and rolling her eyes. "Skip the speeches -- if I don't know the complete back story, it's all meaningless to me. I think it's about time we get down to business, right?"

"Happy to oblige!" Asakura said brightly, as their surroundings pulsed, the window turning into a gunmetal gray steel barrier, strange patterns coalescing across the walls. The circle on the floor around Haruhi abruptly winked out. "Now, I've converted the entire space of this stairwell into-"

Kyon spun on one foot, crying out with a great, "Ki-yah!" and kicking the door halfway across the roof. Sparing no more time, he swept Haruhi up in one arm and dashed through the opening.

"Confined spaces," he answered, sliding to a halt in the middle of the roof and setting her down. "Speed dial two again."

"Right, right," she mumbled, reactivating the circle of light. "So, what's so great about this if she can just turn it off, anyway?"

"It's a barrier and emergency help function," he answered, reactivating the beam saber and reassuming a defensive stance. "Unless she seals this space off -- again -- she can't disable it."

Asakura gave a pained sigh as she stepped through the jagged distortion between her controlled dataspace and the rooftop. "You shouldn't be able to manipulate data like that," she said reprovingly. "I suppose that means it's time to stop holding back." She clapped her hands together before her and drew them apart, flinging a fan of dozens of identical knives outward. Kyon maintained his guard position, his free hand already clenched into a fist, the metal ridges of his skinsuit facing outward.

The knives adjusted their course, most homing in on him to suddenly be halted by a semi-circular barrier of glowing blue force before shattering into nothingness, but a handful stopping suddenly in the space over the circle around Haruhi. He opened his mouth to retort, but Asakura was already within his guard, driving yet another blade into his stomach. The inner carbon-nano-weave of the greatcoat and the force field of the skinsuit beneath it converted the stabbing force into a distributed shock wave, so instead of being pierced, Kyon was merely hit with the force of a speeding minivan, flying clear across the roof with a choked grunt.

"In the end," Asakura remarked, watching his form tumble off the edge of the school building, "all those toys are pretty silly if you don't actually know how to use them."

"You have to give him credit, though," Haruhi said, peering very closely at the knives frozen over her barrier, not even glancing back to where Kyon had vanished. "He comes up with one hell of a distraction ploy, doesn't he?"

The sensation of being hit with a force that would crush a mid-sized car into a work of modern art was not entirely new, but was without a doubt extremely unpleasant. His skinsuit did what it could to distribute the kinetic force evenly across his body, so the crushing pain was at least perfectly uniform in infliction. The balancing gizmos gave up the ghost on keeping him upright, and struggled to guarantee he wouldn't land wherever he flew head-first. His gravity manipulation defenses all strained to bleed the inertia of his impact off without even more pain, but the end result was that he didn't slow appreciably until after he passed the edge of the five story rooftop.

Not what he'd hoped for by a long shot. All of the 'toys' would keep him mobile, even if he was afraid he'd need to be poured out of the skinsuit when it was over. He'd have to beg Nagato or Haruhi to help him out and repair things later, but there was just too damn much to keep track of with all the attack vectors, defensive capabilities....

"It started off such a nice day, too," he mumbled, as his forward momentum was arrested and he began the downward plummet in earnest. How had it come to this, anyway...?

On second thought, he really didn't have time to get distracted by things like that, did he? Haruhi was still up there with Ryouko, after all.

"Hmm," Ryouko mused, turning slowly around, to where her sealed space in the stairway had been breached. "It was broken from the outside, somehow? I wonder--" The shrill buzz of a brilliant energy beam licked out from the roof of the tiny structure that housed the stairwell.

Ryouko was struck in the chest dead-center of mass, her entire body glowing white for a second before she staggered-- Instantly another beam shot out from the same location, lighting slightly to one side, near the girl's left shoulder. A third, though not as brightly glowing shot was somewhat lower, near her stomach, and Ryouko dropped to her knees, eyes widened. "High yield neutron flare?" she asked. "Quantum entanglement to disrupt my connection...."

De-stealthing, Kyon stood from his hiding place atop the stairwell housing, his greatcoat billowing behind him. The end of his weapon was glowing orange with discharge, the shape changed from a simple cylinder to a much thinner meter-long construction of sturdy rails and curving hand guards. He slung it over his shoulder and ignored it, pulling the second cylinder from his coat and leaping the twenty meter distance between himself and Ryouko.

Beneath him, a widening circle of dust marked where he leaped from, and while in midair he flipped over, a sequence of touch-points converting the unadorned cylinder into a stocky, blunt, two-handed gun. It fired with a rasping cough, launching a ring of metallic spikes to burrow into the rooftop around Ryouko, and then a grid of crackling brissant energy raked between each of the spikes, snaring the girl in a glowing, shuddering net.

"Ah," she said, her voice disappointed as Kyon's repulsor and gravimetric systems flared his momentum and spread it evenly across the entire rooftop, landing him near Haruhi, at Ryouko's side. "I failed again."

"Is that going to hurt her?" Haruhi asked, crossing her arms over her chest and raising an eyebrow at Kyon in concern.

"Hurt her?" he asked, somewhat indignantly. "Haruhi, she's tried to kill me. Three times, now, and you just saw one of them! Your primary concern is that I not hurt her?" He muttered to himself beneath his breath, folding away his firearm into storage.

Pulling a phone identical to the one Haruhi was holding from one pocket, he punched a key. "Nagato should be here shortly," he added, shaking his head. "This is all up to you. I already know you'll take care of things just fine."

"Yes!" she said, pumping one fist in the air. "I get to do something! Hey, how's the future?"

"It's awesome," he said, annoyed. "Try and have some pity for the me that nearly got murdered off a building, huh? Anyway, just so you know, she's programmed to try and kill me; she won't do anything to you. And you won't see me tomorrow at school, because I'm going to be ... well. You'll find out."

"Further information is not available here," he warned, shaking his head. "Now, when you see that other me, tell him I said 'hi', like I always do." He paused before glancing at his phone again with a grimace. "My time's up," he announced, re-engaging his stealth field and vanishing from sight.

"What?" Ryouko asked, still trapped in the containment field. "He just abandoned me here with you?"

"Damn it," Kyon groaned, from where he was just climbing over the edge of the building, breathing hard. "I hate when I have to rely on time-travel to take care of things."

"Yeah? That guy always annoys me. Probably almost as much as I'm annoyed by having to save past-me." There was a flash of light and a warping of space, and then Nagato appeared at Haruhi's side. The circle of illumination around Haruhi's feet had vanished.

While Nagato knelt to examine Ryouko, Haruhi dashed to Kyon's side and helped him stand. "How bad was it, anyway? Future-you seemed to think you weren't very tough, and that you were hurt pretty badly."

"I think I've got some internal bleeding," he said, wincing, one hand pressed to his abdomen. "And some of my gear is messed up from the impact and overload. While this is fun for you, I wouldn't mind some medical assistance."

"Sure!" she said cheerfully, clapping one hand on his shoulder. "Happy, healing, all-better thoughts!"

"Medical program loaded," Nagato added helpfully from where she was studying the other interface. "Permission to proceed?"

"Granted," Kyon said, straightening up as a sparkle of green and white lights suffused up from the rooftop beneath him, flowing through his body and undoing the damage. "Oh, that feels so much better! Thank you; that probably saved my life. And for future reference, you can probably assume that I'm okay with that one being used."

"Hmm, hey, Kyon, you know, you're going to have to really step up your game," Haruhi said suddenly, tossing his cell phone back to him.

He scowled, pocketed it, and then banished all of his equipment, the greatcoat taking the longest to phase out of view. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked in irritation.

"Well, this is fun and all, but you can hardly expect me to take your lectures on using power responsibly seriously when you're always relying on your future self to save you," she warned, raising one finger and waggling it at him.

He sighed and hung his head. "You know, I really am trying my hardest," he muttered, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away toward the sea. "But I can't just leave you alone, and Nagato can't handle another interface right now."

"And you did such a great job!" Ryouko encouraged from beneath her energy net. "Time travel, is it? Now that's one tool you seem to know how to use well."

"It's fine," Nagato said tonelessly. "Asakura Ryouko is isolated and confined; she is limited to her organic functions at this moment. After she is dispatched, I will retrieve defenses to protect against further interference."

"Waaaait!" Haruhi yelled, stomping one foot and spinning to face Yuki. "'Dispatched'? I don't think so! If you need something from her, there's got to be a way to do it without killing her! What's the point of running into another alien, just to kill them?"

"But the fighting is fine," Kyon observed, stretching his arms above his head, then swiveling his hips, stretching his spine out. "After all, no one of any importance was smashed off a building."

"Alright," he said, shaking his head. "I don't really want Asakura to die either. But if her body were destroyed, she'd just go back to the place she came from. At least, as I understand it." He shot a questioning glance toward Nagato.

"Good!" Haruhi nodded decisively, grinning again. "Yuki, let's come up with a backup plan. Something that will let you get your power-up and let us reform Ryouko. Can we do that?"

Nagato stared intently at Ryouko, then gave a decisive nod. "Awaiting program," she announced.

"Hmm," Haruhi mused, narrowing her eyes and peering intently at Ryouko, who merely watched back curiously. "Um ... some kind of second chance ... a chance to start over, prove herself, and ... let's see, realize she doesn't want to kill Kyon at all. And she gets to give Yuki what she needs to make her equal to the next interface that comes along.... But no brainwashing, that's not cool. So, maybe an 'evil' module or something like that, which Yuki can purify and use for good, letting Ryouko learn how to become a nicer person? Yeah! That sounds very good! Let's do that."

The pinned interface blinked several times, then turned her eyes to Kyon from beneath the glowing energy net. "None of this has been reported to my superiors," she commented. "It's entirely possible that this new knowledge could change their perceptions; there's no reason to be hasty!"

"You're probably the most reasonable person I've ever had try to kill me," Kyon agreed. "But I remember that time you did stab me all too well."

"No stabbing!" Haruhi said in a chastising tone. "Bad Ryouko! No class rep votes for you!"

"...you don't really think that's her prime concern, do you? Aside from which, did you even vote last time?"

"It isn't," Ryouko agreed. "And no, she didn't. But, about being reasonable...?"

"Anything that I should know about this program, Nagato?" Kyon asked, quirking one eyebrow higher.

"It will be beneficial to all involved," Nagato assured him, while Haruhi nodded knowingly.

Then smaller girl turned her gaze back to Ryouko's bound form, the faintest hint of a smile coming to her lips. "I will not let you harm him again."

The vast resources of the Integrated Data Sentience Entity were arrayed for various purposes, managing any number of simulations, calculations.... Anything that could be done to generate or alter data; all of those things were parts of the Entity's being. Their reality was the information echo of the Calabi-Yau manifold; they were entirely aware of what they were.

First there was data. When reality came into being, so too did the fact -- the information. An event without observers still occurs, despite the limited perspective available from within that absurdly narrow space between two parallel, intersecting membranes of the manifold. From the whole of reality, the information of it existed outside of the known dimensions.

Around that nucleus of raw data formed -- like reflections and shadows of the space they existed without -- constructions and functions. Data transformed. Primitive data constructs began an unaware war, attempting to evolve, devour their neighbors, and transform into more survivable, durable forms.

With the primitive drives came iterations and revisions -- so monumental that the changes could not be recorded in the physical universe. The Bekenstein bound was simply too severe to fit the entirety of that information into the narrow space in between the membranes that they existed without. This was the birth of awareness; the first time that the constructs began to devise new behaviors, intelligently guiding their own transformations and seeking the data that most complimented their existing structures.

Within this, outside of time itself, those aware data structures formed a single composite awareness; each a participant, all aware of their reality. They were information at their most base level, and they were a cognitive whole, able to surpass their own primitive and basic urges.

If information existed, the entity determined, then there must be physical things that this information correlated to. And from there it was observed that if the entity could not interact with real things.

If information was the shadow of reality, then reality was bound to follow laws of nature. The entity determined that if the data for something was transformed -- or destroyed -- then either that information must be recreated elsewhere and observed anew, or replaced.

Experiments continued in this vein until the entity became aware of an interesting concept within one incredibly small slice of the Calabi-Yau manifold. There was a steep slope that all matter in that narrow span was subject to. Eventually, the entity observed, all matter would end up at the bottom of that slope.

Through painstaking observations and lengthy deductions, it became evident that this slope served as some unalterable function of that space -- but it was something that, while observable, was not real. It cast no information shadow.

This force, unobservable, except through the effects that it had on all of the data that the entity could observe was eventually understood to be a limitation of that space.

Where the entity existed, it understood 'past' and 'future', but those were effectively locations, places where it could (and frequently did) go at will.

Within that observation space of the physical -- this force/slope/function was determined to be a function of entropy. It defined a concept the entity could not contain within it. Through constant observation, bringing the entirety of its being back into that 'past' and causing it to always have been that way, it found that there were finite limits to its ability to improve itself.

And only in comparison to that strange thing was the entity able to determine what one of those limits was.

The entity was unaffected by this entropic function, this strange force of time. The physical universe was subject to it ... but as information, the entity was everything that the universe was not.

Through more observations, experiments and judicious alteration of data, the entity was able to understand more of the universe. It learned why it couldn't fit there. It began to understand that there were things in the universe that inexplicably contained no data.

And then it experienced frustration; there were things in the universe that contained data. Data that it did not contain.

As an entity, it held the same drives it had evolved with; to grow, to become stronger, to thrive. But all of the physical was clumsily slipping down that inevitable descent into-- Into non-data.

All data had to be known; the entity was timeless and infinite. There was no justification to allow the universe -- this narrow span, a coincidental collision of parallel membranes -- to stop existing.

And worst of all ... as the entity expanded its awareness, working its way up from the very smallest aspects of the physical -- the easiest parts to manipulate as data....

Time-bound, inelegant, and with practically no ability to improve their own evolution. The first of these 'real' constructs that it studied the data of contained strange transforms, odd encoded bits of data that the entity couldn't fully understand.

And thus, it copied the data of one of the entities it wished to study and began modifying that until it was something it could understand. From there, it assigned this new, 'real' entity, which it instructed -- regularly modifying the data so that it would do as the entity wished -- a title befitting its function:

Eventually, the entity learned that the beings it observed were not even intelligent. It maintained the occasional interface among all of the various beings anyway, observing their evolutions. They were myriad and fascinating, scattered like rare gems of new data to understand and record. Some grew, many changed, and occasionally, a few began to grow more intelligent....

The entity changed its approach, newer interfaces attempting differing interactions with the beings and evolutions that were new -- unknown or different.

Through observation, it began to learn what much of the previously unrecognizable data was. Interfaces now could do more than prod and provoke -- they could observe.

Existing outside of time, the entity was nonetheless aware of how sadly fragile that space was. And annoyingly enough, to interact with something in 'time', it had to be at least partially subject to it.

It had determined how to destroy all of that reality, but that did nothing for data preservation -- and what was the point of destroying something that was actively degrading to the point of destruction anyway? It could clearly see 'reality' inevitably ending. All matter would be subject to that entropic function eventually, and then the parallel membranes would disentangle, drifting apart.

Asakura Ryouko was aware of all of that. She also recognized that while it was easier to recognize the entity as a cohesive whole -- which it was, on some levels -- the 'schools' represented the ancient primitive drives of the data entity before the sentience phase. Evolved or not, it still had drive.

Knowing all of that, she was completely unable to determine why the entity -- almost undoubtedly being aware of what would happen -- had assigned her to a role she had failed so spectacularly.

She didn't need to succeed at her task to accomplish the entity's goals and aims ... but why would it mislead her, or keep her in the dark? She would have calculated that it would have been much more efficient to accomplish something directly. In short, she had no idea why she was in her current situation.

If she were a more emotional being, she probably would have felt betrayed by the entire thing. As a mostly logical being, she assumed that if she just did whatever seemed like the correct thing to do, she would still be serving the entity's cause. Or, perhaps, maybe only one primitive drive of the entity.

She couldn't determine what that function was -- she assumed it was some form of infiltration, given how poorly informed she was for what she actually had to deal with.

So, without really having much other choice in the matter -- thanks to swift and judicious editing of her parameters, all of them specifically to deny her some of her favorite permissions. And, if that weren't enough, Nagato Yuki and Suzumiya Haruhi had taken away most of her combat packages. She probably would have been able to deal with that, except that's not where it stopped....

After her capture, Nagato Yuki had effortlessly picked her up and then carried her to the literary club's room before dropping her on the table unceremoniously. Suzumiya Haruhi, for whatever reason, arranged her with slightly more dignity, but then immediately snapped several pictures while the target -- the one usually addressed as Kyon -- watched with a dubious, half-amused gaze.

Mikuru had tried to keep her smile down through the school day, but it was very difficult -- she was going on a date with Kyon and Haruhi that night! Something she should very much look forward to.

She hoped she could reassure Kyon, at least; he'd seemed a bit tense lately.... She was probably worrying over nothing, Tsuruya seemed even happier than usual, cheerfully obliterating the other girls with her hyperactive energy during physical education. After that, she was grateful for the chance to relax -- and still excited about the movie.

When she wandered into the clubroom, already resolved to let the slider dress up, since she had a date with Kyon and Haruhi later, she was surprised to see the cutest little thing ever sitting on the table.

Haruhi was looking at it from her seat behind the brigade's main computer, where she was sitting cross-legged on the chair. Kyon was leaning back in his own chair, looking at it with a significantly more wary expression. Across from him, Koizumi was studying it with undisguised fascination, and unless Mikuru missed her guess, even Yuki seemed satisfied with it.

It must have been a present for Kanae, and even though she was trying to tell herself that....

Well, it was so cute! She couldn't resist, so plucked it up off the table and gave it a fierce hug. "It's adorable!" she exclaimed.

Haruhi snickered. Yuki looked amused. Koizumi looked mildly concerned. Kyon, though, stared at her with something that looked like mild awe.

What would prompt that? She held the plushie out at arm's length, studying it closely. "It's really, really cute!" she gushed. "But -- is it supposed to look like one of us?" The hair color was wrong, for one thing....

Then, the stuffed doll blinked at her. "I'm chupposed to look like me!" it protested.

Tsuruya and Kanae trooped into the room, both freezing at the sight of the ... thing. Well, it wasn't a doll, she supposed. Kanae made a delighted sound, rushing to Mikuru's side and gasping in amazement. "M...Mikuru-onee, did you make that?" she asked in amazement. "It's cute!"

"Thanks! I think you're pretty, too!" the not-a-doll said brightly. "I'm Achakura!"

Very gently, Mikuru placed 'Achakura' on the table, and then sat down in Kyon's chair to settle her nerves. Considering that he was already sitting there, Kyon adjusted to her presence without much real reaction, save to put a hand about Mikuru's waist, still looking at the tiny schoolgirl ... creature.

"This is Asakura Ryouko," he explained, once the door was shut, and everyone's attention was on the -- perhaps -- fifteen centimeter tall schoolgirl with cartoon-like exaggerated features. "She's tried to kill me, well, a bunch of times -- so Haruhi thought it would be great to keep her around as a toy, or something."

"She's supposed to help you out," Haruhi corrected him. "Don't all of the great stories have an enemy becoming your ally, even if it's unwillingly at first? Well, there just wasn't enough animosity with anyone else!"

"Kyon is my prey!" Asakura said, giving Mikuru an especially pretty smile, before giggling cutely.

"So, yeah," Kyon said with a soft sigh. "Evidently, my archenemy is a chibi schoolgirl."

Asakura hopped to her tiny feet and clenched one rounded fist. "I will finish my mission!" she promised.

"There is some concern of the fact that she is -- among other things -- probably anatomically impossible," Koizumi noted with a shake of his head. "I suppose we can keep her here ... but what if she's seen?"

"She does not possess physical form," Yuki explained softly, looking up from her current book, 'A Wrinkle in Time'. "She exists as data and an augmented reality interface that I have assigned to all of us. She is an extension and controller for his PDA; her assigned role is managing his automated defense functions."

"Learn your sci-fi better!" Haruhi scolded, smirking. "Augmented reality is just an overlay that fools your senses and lets you see and interact with things that aren't really there. That means you could do things like make big labels pop up on top of things that you couldn't understand -- or have a chibi alien schoolgirl that only your club members can see and interact with! Come on, how cool is that!"

"So ... she's not real?" Koizumi mused, leaning close to peer at Ryouko, who smiled and waved at him in response.

"You were that one that asked me to spy on Kyon-kun!" she chirped cheerfully. "Well -- I guess I was wrong, wasn't I!"

The esper coughed quietly, looking uncomfortable. "A...ah, yes," he allowed, frowning. "I did not know you were the same one that would later...." He trailed off with a sigh.

"Hey, hey! Esper-chan, I'll go out on a date with you if you do me one tiny little favor!" Ryouko pleaded, her simpering smile eerily cute as she clasped her hands together.

"I...is that so?" Koizumi asked, looking down at the tiny girl with consternation.

Kyon raised his eyebrows to the esper. "In proper shounen style, I guess we could be rivals and beat the crap out of each other," he said, sounding unconvinced. "You know -- as friends."

"Ah ... energy weapons, the need to keep a low profile.... And the idea that, really, anyone would think I'd be so desperate for a date that-- No, I think this shouldn't be dignified with further response," Koizumi determined, shaking his head. "If it's all the same, I think I'll just as soon ignore her."

Yuki rose from her seat, took a single step closer to the table -- and then abruptly backhanded the tiny schoolgirl.

Mikuru reflexively flinched back from the violence, and Kanae's eyes grew wide as Ryouko soared across the room and then bounced off a wall, wailing a feeble protest about injustice as she rebounded, struck the floor, and then slid nearly to Haruhi's feet. The brigade chief frowned, hopping off her seat and fishing up the dazed, but evidently unharmed girl.

Then again, Mikuru reminded herself, Ryouko wasn't real -- she was an augmented reality construct. A physical illusion, of a sort.

"I don't think I've ever seen you show a sign of disliking something," Haruhi remarked to Yuki, raising one eyebrow. "How'd she piss you off so badly?"

Yuki looked very mildly confused. "She hurt him," she answered, blinking at Haruhi.

Haruhi's cheer faded, and she frowned. "Y...yeah, Kyon said that too, but...." She hesitated, then turned to Kyon. "How badly?"

"Finally interested in hearing about that?" Kyon grumbled. "She tried to kill me once -- and Yuki saved me before Asakura could do much more than bang me up a bit. That was actually the first time I'd ever witnessed something amazing and supernatural. I was really happy thinking that once she 'transfered to Canada' I'd never have to see her again."

"I'll never give up!" Asakura cried happily, seemingly uncaring of the fact that she'd just been bounced clear across the clubroom, and showing no visible signs of damage.

Haruhi pursed her lips, looking troubled. "I...in retrospect ... no wonder you were so unhelpful about that...."

Kyon sighed, the arm about Mikuru's waist tightening and steadying her when she shifted. Somehow, she felt too self conscious to move, since she'd already gotten there -- and, anyway, no one was complaining, so she decided to just wait and see how long she could get the moment to last.

"In that place ... that other world in December, you know I told you I was stabbed?" he asked.

Ryouko nodded, her eyes distant. "I have no idea what he's talking about," she assured Haruhi. "If I finally caught my prey, I'd remember!"

For Mikuru's part, however ... she was remembering -- suddenly -- what Kyon was talking about. Her grip about him tightened, and she fought back the urge to tremble. Kyon had been stabbed once ... and she'd tried so hard not to remember it, that horrifying moment....

But yes -- there had been a slightly taller, very pretty girl with long blue hair.... And then, Kyon had....

There were two of Kyon at the time. The one she was supposed to be standing next to, and the one that had gotten hurt -- that she'd run out to try and help. Along with.... Along with....

Suddenly, she remembered a nagging question she had meant to follow up on. Another instance when it seemed that there were two of Kyon, somehow.... The same day that she was with Kyon on a park bench, hadn't Sasaki said that she saw Kyon with....

She wasn't certain about everything, but she knew she had to figure that much out.

"O...oh," Kanae finally managed, giving Ryouko a very untrusting look. "I guess ... just because something's cute doesn't mean it's good...."

"Don't let the container fool you, that right there is pure evil," Kyon agreed. "And if Haruhi would listen, I would tell her that evil is not a toy."

"Don't take this away from me," Haruhi snapped at Kyon, scowling. "Yeah, okay -- so I don't have the full benefit of remembering all of your other adventures. And because I wasn't there, it turned out badly -- big surprise. But things are different now! She's going to be reformed, and we're going to make her a worthwhile ally -- an asset to the team!

"She's not a prisoner ... and she's not here just so that.... Well, revenge.... No, that's not right -- justice, not vengeance. That's what it is! We've already taken her power. Right now she's just a hologram. She can't hurt us-- She can't do anything we don't tell her to! Even then, it's limited to small objects! So, what, are you still scared of her?"

"You can't force reform!" Ryouko said, shaking her head. "Even though I'm limited, and don't have permissions, I can still think and act how I want -- within those limitations!"

"Well, a mute button seems likes an okay idea," Tsuruya allowed, finally shaking off her daze and taking a seat.

"In this mode, she can only speak when spoken to," Yuki offered, before retaking her seat.

"Fascinating," Koizumi murmured. "I don't know how this reform is to take place ... but let us hope, hmm?"

"Fine!" Haruhi grumbled. "We won't take her to the movie with us, then! Throw a fit, why don't you?"

Kyon blinked, and Mikuru felt mildly taken aback herself. "You were thinking of bringing her along to see a movie with us in the first place?" he wondered.

Standing next to the pyramid on Haruhi's desk, Ryouko began to jump up and down, waving her arms for attention and shouting noiselessly.

"If we don't ever expose her to anything positive, how's she supposed to learn what's cool, and what's not?" the brigade chief reasoned, shaking her head. "She's got to have good examples -- and what have you given her so far, but hostility?"

Kyon flinched back, mildly stunned, and his arm slipped from Mikuru's waist. She hesitated, uncertain if she should get off his lap or not -- she was probably making a bit of a scene.... But then, she did want to comfort the boy a bit -- and she didn't like remembering that circumstance, either.

"A...alright," he allowed, bowing his head. "You know.... It's not like me to get really angry.... I just...."

Haruhi snapped her fingers, comprehension dawning in her eyes as she hopped out of the chair. She made a gesture with one hand; the vacated seat slipped across the floor, stopping at an empty space at the table. Mikuru found herself whisked out of Kyon's lap by some invisible force, then gently set down at the new place. At the same time, Ryouko flew across the space between the computer desk and the room's main table. Judging by how her arms flailed, she wasn't expecting the flight, though the tiny figure was still muted.

Even as Mikuru adjusted to the fact that evidently -- now, anyway -- Haruhi could levitate people, too -- a small milk-carton drifted out of the refrigerator and landed near Ryouko.

Kyon blinked at the scene in surprise as Haruhi claimed the just-vacated lap. Addressing Ryouko, she said, "If you do something nice to Kyon, maybe he'll do something nice for you, hmm?"

After a surprisingly short moment of hesitation, with the eyes of the entire brigade on her, the tiny figure picked up the carton of milk that was half her size with obvious effort, and began staggering across the table toward Kyon and Haruhi with it.

Kyon grudgingly accepted the milk carton after Haruhi took it from Ryouko. "Okay," he allowed, after a suspicious sip. "You have a point ... but give me some credit, too."

"The last persons to injure Kyon apologized for it," Tsuruya remarked, shaking her head slightly. "If that chibi is joining us, shouldn't she start that way?"

Ryouko pouted, then made a silent pleading gesture, falling to her knees and clasping her tiny hands together.

"Alright," Kyon sighed, unable to slump over in defeat thanks to Haruhi occupying his lap. "Fine! Fine.... But Asakura -- just be quiet through the movie, alright?"

While Kyon was sure he could adjust to anything given time, a chibi-assassin riding around on his shoulder or in a greatcoat pocket, promising to kill him and compelled to manage his defenses.... Well, he trusted Yuki, and it wasn't like Haruhi wanted him hurt.

He certainly was glad he wasn't worried about watching the movie, at least. Especially since Haruhi seemed to think that Kyon's greatcoat pockets were just the right size for Ryouko to ride around in.

He could admit to seeing the appeal of putting a layer of armor between himself and her, though.

And ... aside from that, a lot of his ire was tempered by the rotation of girls-- His girlfriends, he reminded himself.

That was still a very strange thought, even if it did happen to be completely awesome. Okay -- given that, he could see that Haruhi had made enough concessions for him (four of them, in fact), that he should give her project to reform Ryouko a chance. Strange as it was.

So, he'd stuffed her into a pocket, then walked home. There was a moment of indecision, when he had to figure out what to do with her while changing out of his school uniform, but tossing her on the bed and covering her with the greatcoat gave him enough privacy. After that, he'd stuffed her back into the greatcoat pocket.

Interestingly, the invisibility effect of the greatcoat seemed to skip her, leaving him with the impression that she was just floating before him. Then again ... she was already invisible to everyone else anyway. Though, he suspected he could get used to her only speaking when spoken to.

After that, he met up with Haruhi and Mikuru at the train station near a local theater -- not the one they'd gone to with Miyoko to see 'Saw', though. He felt no particular urge to tempt fate on that count.

Much of his apprehension faded when Haruhi and Mikuru emerged from the crowd, arms linked as Haruhi explained something to Mikuru.

"So," Haruhi said, "from what Kanae-chan tells me, most versions of Trope-tan have her with a mysterious elder brother character -- usually called something like a 'knight of the quill' or 'guardian knight of Neo-Tropeyo'. He's the hero of another story, and she says she's never run into a story that explains him completely."

"I...is that character in the movie?" Mikuru wondered. "I've watched some of the anime, but I don't remember him being introduced...."

"He was the guy in episode six or seven, I think," Kyon said, trying not to be distracted by their outfits. Mikuru, as always, was a combination of cute and gorgeous, wearing a frilly dark dress that came down to her knees. Haruhi was wearing a miniskirt and blouse combination, along with heels that made them almost equal in height -- showing off her well toned legs.

He tried not to ogle the girls; just because he was dating them, he didn't think he should behave unreasonably. Though, come to think of it....

"Oh! The ... man with the one blue eye and one brown?" Mikuru asked in surprise. "He was taking care of Tropey while Trope-tan went to school, wasn't he?"

"That's right," Kyon agreed. Then he frowned, thinking about it. "His eyes were different colors? Huh ... kind of a lot of detail to give a side-character."

"Kanae-chan says that's not really consistent, though," Haruhi said with a shrug, glancing to where Ryouko was looking between them in silent curiosity, still hanging in Kyon's invisible pocket. "There was something ... oh, yes! He can't tell lies unless both of his eyes are green."

"That's utterly bizarre," he said, ignoring the fact that he was talking to Haruhi in the company of a time traveler and a chibified alien. "Does he have any weapons or powers?"

"Usually a lesser version of whatever Trope-tan has, but he spends more time moving between the other worlds -- taking care of stuff when she's gone."

"Huh." He shook his head, leading the way to the theater. "I should mention that you both look really nice. But what brought up that whole thing, anyway?"

"Ah ... Kanae-chan was wondering why we were asking if she had a brother," Haruhi sighed, frowning. "So I asked about Trope-tan's brother. She sure knows a lot of different instances of that anime.... But evidently it's never explicit in any canon that she's an orphan -- even if in some continuities no parents ever show up."

"Poor Kanae-chan," Mikuru sighed, shaking her head. "Um ... but I'm glad she's here with us, and that we can help her out!"

"Yeah," Kyon agreed, giving the girl a grin. "Ah ... wait...." He scratched the back of his head and looked upward. "I have no idea what the correct protocol for this is," he apologized, shrugging apologetically to the two. "Um, so ... help me out?"

"We should pass ourselves off as just friends hanging out," Haruhi replied, amused.

Kyon nodded his understanding, relieved at that. "So ... what I've been doing!" he realized as they reached the line to enter the theater.

Haruhi smirked, looking especially pleased with herself. "See?" she chided him. "It went really well, didn't it?"

That, he could not refute. "All told, I'd be an idiot to complain about it," he agreed, giving a genial smile to both of them.

Haruhi's triumphant smirk only widened. "There you go -- positive examples for Ryouko to learn about interaction!"

As long as that didn't extend to the chibified alien watching him kiss either of the girls, he supposed he could live with it. He was pretty sure that was behavior that she shouldn't learn.

Though she was still annoyed that Kyon hadn't reacted well to the newest addition to the club -- ranked just below mascot -- Haruhi was pleased with how quickly she'd convinced him to give the miniaturized girl a chance. Plus, he trusted Yuki, and Yuki said it was fine, anyway.

To make things simpler, after the movie they took a cab to Mikuru's place, where Haruhi had left her things, anyway. Once there, when he turned to say goodbye to Mikuru, the time traveler opened her door, and Haruhi managed to tackle Kyon through it, landing him sprawled on the floor, with him across his back.

She still managed to plant a kiss on him before he could struggle free, which she took as a sign that either he really didn't mind, or she was was just that good.

Mikuru gasped, looking around her tiny, one-room apartment desperately for any place where she could try and hide from the display of affection, but Haruhi mercilessly used her power to tug on Mikuru's dress, dragging her close to Kyon with a squeaking protest. "S...Suzumiya-san!" she yelped, raising both hands to cover her eyes. "I-- I'll wait outside!"

"No you won't," Haruhi countered, once Kyon broke the kiss and her head stopped swimming so much. She had nothing to complain about, but he was good. "Kyon! Tell her she won't!"

He blinked, seeming to come back to his senses, laying across and pinning a very annoyed (but utterly silent) chibified alien beneath his back, just her head and arms showing. "No," he countered with a frown. "You shouldn't make Asahina-san uncomfortable."

He rolled his eyes and turned to Mikuru, sitting up to face her and incidentally freeing Ryouko. "Asahina-san--"

"Mikuru-chan," Haruhi corrected, which prompted another squeak of alarm from the time traveler.

Another roll of his eyes, and without missing a beat he corrected himself, "I mean, Mikuru-chan--"

Haruhi had to admit -- Kyon's little sister would be put to shame by such a leaping tackle-hug. For herself, well ... something to smile about, whatever the upcoming meeting on Monday might bring.

Not that she could let herself get carried away; watching Mikuru apologize fervently while all but attacking Kyon with her lips was adorable! She fully intended to make sure every date between Kyon and Mikuru included at least one instance of that.

After a few minutes, Haruhi managed to worm her way between them to claim another kiss or three from Kyon herself before things got hazy.... Finally, Ryouko exclaimed, "It's time for Kyon-kun to go home!" She looked pleased to find herself able to speak, and then attempted to form further words silently.

Evidently Yuki had thought ahead to allow 'good child' mode to still work with Kyon's PDA's alarm function. There was a long minute of sitting up, smoothing down hair, and the straightening of skirts between herself and Mikuru. For Kyon's part, he merely looked happily dazed, entirely content to just fade out of existence.

"On your feet!" she ordered him cheerfully. As fun as it was, there really wasn't any reason to risk the wrath of Kyon's mother, especially with how well things had been going lately.

"Mmm, Kyon," Mikuru managed, her words slightly slurred, as though she had been overwhelmed by something ... or that Kyon's kiss was genuinely intoxicating (there was a thought that bore further investigation). "Um, Kyon-kun," she said, shaking her head and clearing her voice. "Ah ... t...thank you and Suzumiya-san both, and ... I'd like very much to talk to you tomorrow!"

"That's great!" Haruhi said, before her smile faded. "But you know, somehow ... it doesn't seem right that you still call me that. Mikuru-chan, we've been friends for over a year and now -- through Kyon -- we're practically dating. Can't you call me something a bit friendlier?"

She wondered at the way the time traveler's face began to redden and her breath quickened. "U...um," Mikuru managed. "O...okay ... Haruhi-chan?" she hazarded, as though expecting the sounds themselves to spark off an intense conflagration.

For her part, Haruhi grinned, pleased that she'd finally gotten a start on narrowing the distance between herself and the time traveler.

After that, Kyon obliged Haruhi's order to give Mikuru a kiss goodbye, leaving the time traveler giggling and grinning, her eyes unfocused as they left.

"So," she said, once they were walking back to the train station, elbowing him gently in the ribs. "You sure seemed to have fun!"

"I did," Kyon admitted, glancing down at his pocket to see that Ryouko was still there. "Though, now that I've gotten a chance to try this out, I'm starting to wonder ... is this really you going out of your way for me?"

"Maybe that Haruhi got a strange idea to have a harem, and then made me her surrogate for it?"

She started slightly at that, before bursting into laughter. "Fine," she returned, once she caught her breath, "in that case, poor little victim-Kyon, are you surviving in your role of 'harem figurehead'?"

He gave her a very grave look. "It presents a rare difficulty, but I endure," he said with the most profound stoic resolve she could imagine. "A man my age ... five cute girls, each with their own unique and charming attributes.... Suffering, thy name is Kyou--"

This time, she actually collapsed into him from laughing so hard -- which made his facade crack even though she interrupted his speech, showing her a grin of his genuine amusement. And that set off an even stronger round of laughter, which he joined in with a chuckle.

As they reached the train station, she regained her footing, but still leaned on him anyway. "Ah ... now, seriously Kyon -- about tomorrow?"

She shrugged. "Future-you said you weren't going to be around much for whatever reason," she explained. "Anyway, I didn't see you with anything new, but Future-you was hiding on top of the stairwell and shot her," she gestured to the pocket full of chibi, "with a 'high yield neutron flare'.

"I went ahead and looked that up on the world's second best wiki site, and from what I can figure between that and what she said, either the radiation or the type of radiation can temporarily block her connection to the IDSE. So that's how you'll beat her!"

He raised an eyebrow and turned to look at Ryouko again. "A neutron flare knocks out your connection?" he wondered.

"If I'm not prepared, it can!" Ryouko chirped. "And if I could lie about that, I would!"

"Yuki's thorough," Haruhi mused, before shaking her head. "Anyway -- take care tomorrow, whatever you're doing. Right, Kyon?"

She would have said more, but the next train pulled in, and she had to board. She settled for waving, then dashing away.

Kyon: Big Damn Hero

The Storm Begins Arc III

Chapter Forty One: The Stock Footage Chapter