Disclaimer: The series begun with the light novel 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi'/'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended with the creation of this work.
Note: This is a direct sequel to Outcast, in the vein of 'Distant Glimpses', though obviously a bit different at this point.
I've read that people cling to familiarity, or that touches of familiarity make adapting to a changed situation easier. People probably adapt regardless, but I can freely admit that certain factors had made adapting to a new school in the middle of a term much easier than it might have been. It didn't hurt in the slightest that my new classmates were welcoming, considerate people.
It also didn't hurt that certain details of my ancestry were a commonality I held with the school principal -- though that had never come up directly. In fact, I'd only seen him twice. Once in passing, and once during a speech he gave to the student body about school-issued work permits.
The work permits were handy as well; many schools specifically forbade students from holding jobs while attending, so that more time would be spent on study. While I would have to admit that I could benefit from more time doing that, being able to work part time was an asset as well; my family had a meager income, and supplementing it was important to me.
That wasn't the only reason I didn't mind working, though.
Having study partners was a boon as well, but the things that were most precious to me, that let me enjoy school to the fullest, and consider it a truly pleasant place, were my friends.
Koizumi, who I only met at that school. Asahina-san, who came from Kitago when I left. Nagato, who came with her.
And most importantly, Haruhi, who dragged those two with her when she rejected the behavior of Kitago's students -- on my behalf.
The only thing to dislike about it was that such a noble act engenders a debt that might never be repaid. I really had to wonder what I could ever do that would be equal to that.
But that aside, the days passed in a comfortably pleasant blur, even despite the study I had to devote to the subjects I didn't excel at. Which was all of them, save history and grammar.
"Lucky for you two again!" Nozomu declared, winking at Haruhi and myself, when we got to keep our seats on the window row. Of course, the seating order alternated boy and girl, and the teacher switched it around to prevent anyone maintaining the same seat in any case -- but it worked out that Haruhi and I got the same seats we had in our previous classroom.
"If that kind of luck worked for the lottery, I'd be wealthy!" Haruhi declared with a laugh, as we traded desks. "It's too bad it doesn't seem to work that way."
"The lottery would be quite nice," I had to agree. "Then I wouldn't need to study anymore."
"Well, if you'd just turn lazy, maybe it's for the best you don't win," Haruhi scolded me gently.
So for the remaining time until summer vacation, I would get to enjoy the best seat in the classroom. Certainly, that was not a thing to complain about!
I shrugged and checked my watch. "That all being said, I'd have to play in order to have a chance of winning, which presents a difficulty. I'm not much for taking gambles in any case," I remarked. "And I don't think I can cover my cleaning duties today and also get to work on time."
Class representative Munemoto raised his eyebrows on hearing that. Nozomu did as well, tapping her lower lip thoughtfully. Around us, once they'd switched desks, our classmates were already either gathering cleaning supplies or making their way out of the room to head home.
"You work together though, don't you?" he wondered.
"In the same place," Haruhi corrected, though she nodded anyway.
"Can't be helped!" he said with a shrug. "Alright -- I'll trade with you, Kyon. If I cover you, will you take an equal number of days from me in the future?"
Ah, yes. The one imperfection in an otherwise flawless high school existence: that nickname.
It was a small enough price to pay, however.
"I would be in your debt, noble class rep," I agreed, bowing to the bespectacled boy.
"Same deal, Haruhi-chan?" Nozomu asked, though her eyes were on the class rep as she blushed faintly.
Haruhi made a face at that, and it took me a moment to realize she was biting back a laugh. "I know it's a real burden, Nozomu-chan, but I'd be appreciative," she agreed, grinning.
"Alright -- don't be late, and work hard!" our classmate declared.
"We will!"
We bowed together and quickly made our way to the reclaimed club room. Our club usually only met every other day, due to the work schedule, and so on alternate days, we misappropriated it as a changing room. Haruhi went first, taking off the Kitago uniform she hadn't been able to replace yet and putting on more casual work clothes. Once she was done, I stepped in and followed suit, carefully folding up my Hikami Gakuen uniform and stowing it in my bag to put on the sturdier but more worn t-shirt and jeans.
The hall monitor gave us only a glance in passing on our way out, having seen our permits many times before, and not long after that we reached the station and boarded our train.
"On schedule," Haruhi said with a nod, when we crowded on with a number of other students heading home.
In fairness, the trains hadn't been off schedule since last month's earthquake in the Miyagi prefecture, and that was for the sake of caution instead of any actual damage. Even the Shinkansen was still running.
I nodded back, but there were too many people piled up like boxes in a back room to make real conversation. Historically, I knew people had been crowded together more tightly than this when they moved from place to place, but there was a difference I only seldom thought of. Long ago, as tightly as people might be packed, they would tend to be from the same walk in life.
Criminals would crowd together to face judgment almost as tightly as nobles pressed together to watch a show. Soldiers would form tight formations, and farmers might pack together during festivals.
But in that day and age, in a train, an officer worker and a government official, or a student and a police officer could be pressed just as close. Even being accepted and accepting the friends that I had made, the thought didn't simply vanish.
I couldn't let myself be dragged down by those thoughts anymore, though; just like the train, society was moving forward. The past was moving away like a distant station. Still relevant, but not nearly as much.
When we disembarked, such thoughts were still going through my head, and Haruhi gave me a strange look.
"Distracted?" she asked. "Thinking if there might be life on the newly discovered moon of our ninth planet?"
"Just thinking about the future," I answered. "Which planet was that, again?"
She snorted, giving me a smile. "Pluto," she informed me dryly. "The proposed name is Charon, but they still have to confirm that it exists. Yuki gets some astronomy newsletters, so I read about it just last night.
"So current events are interesting as well! But, I suppose thinking about the future is much better than spending all your time thinking about the past!"
"I'm thinking about that, too," I assured her. She nodded absently, quickly catching sight of Koizumi.
"Ah! There you are!" she pronounced, waving to him.
He shrugged from where he had been waiting with an easy smile. "I went ahead," he admitted, "but I ended up on the same train, so I suppose there was no point to it!"
"Well, we still have a few minutes, but let's not be late," I said, glancing at my watch again. Not for the first time, I had to add, "And thanks to you, Koizumi, for helping us get work with you."
"It's not glamorous," he said with another depreciating shrug. "But it is work!"
That was for certain.... The large department store that was our workplace quickly loomed before us, though we all went around the back, along with some other arriving co-workers. Once we entered through the back door, we gathered our work clothes -- gloves for Koizumi and I, and a floral-patterned smock for Haruhi. She made a face at her outfit before shrugging.
"Work hard!" she declared, before marching to the door leading to the front of the store.
"You, too!" I called back to her before she vanished from earshot. Of course, where Koizumi and I had the rather dull task of unloading trucks as they came to the rear of the building, Haruhi's role was helping customers find various items. She wondered at the evident choice at one point, and I had tactlessly blurted out that it was simply a business plan to put the attractive one among the three of us out front.
Haruhi groused about it, saying she'd rather have worked beside Koizumi and I, but ultimately accepted the role, her cheeks red from my careless words. Then again, she didn't mind attention on her very much. I actually didn't mind unloading things and avoiding the public eye, and because it was a simple task, it left my mind free to contemplate other things. Koizumi as well, though he frequently let his thoughts escape his mouth, seemingly unaware.
The first of those had been musing that he wasn't actually insulted by my comment, comparing him to Haruhi as 'less attractive.' I would guess that he himself would be considered appealing -- certainly, the girls at our school seemed to think so -- but my interests went in an entirely different direction, so I could only shrug apologetically and move to the next box when he mentioned it.
After the day's work was complete, I was almost entirely worn out. I'd rather have been able to idle about, but my family had only so much money to work with, and that meant every bit helped. Koizumi parted ways with us at the train station, and Haruhi followed me the much shorter distance to my home.
That had become an entirely common incident, as well. When the group of us were together, we studied, but on days we had work, Haruhi and I studied together.
Once we boarded the train, it was even more crowded than the earlier trip -- packed with salary-men on the way home, and students finished with late club activities. Haruhi and I ended up pressed together, but the trip was brief, and when we reached the station nearest my house, we both stretched widely. It would have been especially pleasant if I could sit down and nap, but that wasn't a possibility.
Glancing at me sidelong, Haruhi demanded, "Give me your bag!"
"I moved heavy things all day," I countered.
"So haven't you done as I said and worked hard? Doesn't that mean you've earned a break?"
I shrugged, hiding a small smirk. "But now, thanks to working at this job so often, I've become inured. Indeed, the weight of my school bag is feather light compared to how it was before we started working!"
"Then you won't mind carrying my bag?" she asked shrewdly.
Aha, she was sharp. Still, the pain of carrying extra weight was nothing compared to my mother's sharp reminders that I should make such a sacrifice for someone like Haruhi willingly. "Alright," I agreed, taking her bag without hesitation, briefly surprising her.
She scowled, but her eyes betrayed her amusement.
"Anyway, Koizumi and I got to sit between workloads; you've been on your feet non-stop," I added.
"Fine, fine," she tried to grumble.
"Though, our job is relatively boring. Was yours interesting?" I prompted.
"Just keeping things on the shelves neat and pointing customers toward stuff," she sighed. "I'd like to work in the record department -- that would be nice, but I don't have a record player at home anymore. I miss some of my old albums, so it would be kind of fun to tell people where to find things."
I hadn't thought of that; our family listened to the radio when we wanted music, and that was the extent of it. "Did you have a lot of records?" I wondered.
"A few," she allowed. "My parents gave me a copy of David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust -- that's my favorite, by far."
I recalled her singing 'Starman' to herself at one point, so nodded sympathetically. I didn't really even know how to work a record player, myself.
Shaking her head, she changed the subject slightly, adding, "But I don't have enough seniority to work in that section yet; evidently it's a coveted part of the store. I get stuck with vacuums, mostly. Telling people which bags go with whatever model they have or whatever...."
I hadn't meant to remind her of what she'd given up, as it made the mood a bit more morose. I had been curious, though I did regret the mood. However, shortly after that we reached my house, where my sister was anxiously peeking out the window in expectation of our arrival. "Kyon-kun!" my sister exclaimed, until redirected.
Attacking with a ferocity that Napoleon himself would have respected, she charged through the door at me -- Haruhi intercepted my sister's tackling hug with ease. Hefting her in the air, she spun in place, wearing the momentum down as steadily as a Soviet winter, leaving me unscathed.
After working my body as hard as I had already, that reprieve was quite welcome! Even better, her infectious positive energy attached itself to Haruhi without delay, driving away the ominous mood for the moment.
"Ahaha, Haru-nee!" my sister cheered. "Come inside before mom ruins dinner!"
"I heard that!" my mother called from the kitchen. "Well, anyway -- come in, Haruhi-chan! I've just started making dinner--"
"Ah, pardon my intrusion," Haruhi answered back with cheerful formality, stepping through the doorway. "You'll let me help, right?" Haruhi asked, setting my sister down at the same time I put our bags on the floor. Of course, Haruhi wouldn't accept 'no' for an answer, so it wasn't much of a request.
"Well, it seems that even my own daughter knows that my cooking isn't half as good as yours!" my mother replied, peeking through from the kitchen with a happy smile. "Kyon-kun--"
"I know the drill," I returned.
"Don't take too long!" my mother admonished, as Haruhi winked at my sister and stepped into the kitchen to help with cooking.
"Imouto, don't give them any trouble," I reminded her, before heading to the bathroom to wash the sweat of work off.
As much as my muscles delighted in the soothing warmth of the water, I didn't linger long in the bath. After changing from my work clothes to a clean pair of jeans and shirt, my sister and I set the table together, just in time for Haruhi and my mother to bring the meal out.
"Ah, thanks for letting me join you for dinner," Haruhi added, ducking her head when my mother insisted we should eat. My father worked late, so would have to make do with leftovers, but as he said, when they were of such fine quality, he couldn't complain.
"It's my pleasure to have your help in the kitchen!" my mother insisted. "Some day, Haruhi-chan, you'll make a wonderful bride!"
Haruhi's reaction was both melancholy and pleased at that -- conflicted between those two ideals. She ducked her head and blushed, but I could see a hint of some other thought distracting her. "T-thank you," she managed.
It was only after my mother insisted she join us for dinner after working that I'd come to realize that Haruhi was not particularly used to being thanked for anything at all! Well, my mother was working very hard on ensuring Haruhi had enough exposure to gratitude, while making time to somehow chide my own efforts as insufficient.
After enjoying fare finer than I suspect Ieyasu himself enjoyed during his rule, Haruhi and I retreated to the living room to work on our homework, my little sister joining in. "Really," my mother said, as she took care of the dishes, "after all you do to help tutor Kyon, I feel I owe you more!"
Later, once we were done with homework, and my father had a chance to wash and enjoy his own dinner, he clapped his hands together and declared that it was time to give Haruhi a ride home.
"Unless you want to stay here!" my mother teased. "You're practically a daughter to us anyway!"
This made even Haruhi blush. "B...but without me, Yuki and Mikuru-chan will eat only takeout," she managed. "I have to look out for them, too!"
"Well, alright," my mother allowed with a pout.
It was already implicit that I'd join Haruhi for the ride back to her apartment, which had come in handy for my father on one occasion, when our aging family car got a flat tire. Haruhi and I climbed into the back seat together, and she stifled a yawn.
On the drive back, my father asked, "Haruhi-chan, who do you think will win the season?"
"Are you looking for betting tips?" I asked. "You know mom hates that."
"It's just five hundred yen in the pool," he said defensively. "But if we win, I'll treat the entire family to dinner out-- Including Haruhi-chan, of course!"
That was a sufficient bribe to bite my tongue around my mother!
"Ah, that's a lot of pressure!" Haruhi protested, though she blushed at my father's praise of her analysis. She did have a good eye for who was likely to win. "Um, but the Braves have won the last three years -- I think their luck is going to run out soon, and even if he makes MVP again, Yamada Hisashi-san isn't at his peak anymore."
"He's done well for himself as a pitcher though. Hmm, so you think that Yomiuri will finally avenge themselves?" my father posed, raising his eyebrows. "The odds won't pay well for that bet, but a win is a win...."
"Nah, I don't think the Giants are even going to make it this season," Haruhi determined. "I'd say the Swallows are going to take their first win this year."
"Let's hope that's true! If they make it, you can even pick where we go!" my father said enthusiastically. "Of course, that means you must join us to watch the game on television!"
"Ah.... Alright," Haruhi agreed, unable to keep from smiling. "That does sound fun."
The me of a few weeks -- and one high school -- prior would not have believed that days like this might ever happen. And the me of the time of that transition would have thought that such optimism was in the realm of fantasy. But these scenes had become pleasantly routine, in reality.
After reaching Nagato's house, Haruhi climbed out of the car, and I stepped out with her. Part of the reason was so that I could ride in the front on the way back, but it was also my mother's insistence that I 'be a gentleman' and ensure Haruhi was completely inside before leaving. She reached the door and turned to wave goodbye-- I waved back, and then she stepped inside and was gone.
After that, well ... it wasn't a fantasy, and so I had to admit that there were significantly worse ways to spend a day!
What was just related is how many of my high-school days after moving to Hikami Gakuen went. They were almost idyllic, and there was little to complain about. They weren't perfect, but they were what I had to consider good -- a stable period, if not quite a golden age.
The next day, Haruhi and I had cleaning duty, as we no longer had the excuse of work -- but that was a welcome change, as the difficulty was significantly lower. Class rep Munemoto and Nozomu seemed a little saddened, for some reason, but we owed them in any case.
Once we were done cleaning -- a breeze, with Haruhi's energy -- we retreated to our club room. Upon arrival, Koizumi was banished to wait in the hall with me until Haruhi finished changing. As he stood in the hall, he put one hand on the opposite shoulder and moved that arm in a big circle. "I have to admit," he said with a rueful chuckle and a shake of his head, "you're able to bear up through our work a bit better than I am!"
"Only because that's the sort of thing I did over Golden Week," I replied with a shrug. "Just don't overdo it and you'll be fine."
"Even though I was able to get us the interviews, thanks to my uncle, I believe at work I should call you 'sempai'!"
Somehow, from him, that felt strangely annoying. "Please, don't," I said, holding up a hand to ward the thought off. "We're students in the same year and we've worked together the same amount. I think I'm unready to take responsibility for a kohai."
Whatever response he had to make was lost as Haruhi opened the door, eyebrows raised almost to the edge of her stewardess cap.
"Come in," she ordered, putting hands on her hips.
At first, I thought her insistence on wearing the costume was a curious quirk-- She modeled it herself the original time, as I'd suggested. After that, Asahina-san wore it a time or two, but shortly after that point, Haruhi had worn it exclusively. Asahina-san didn't particularly mind, though every time Haruhi allowed us back into the clubroom after changing, she would remark:
"Ah, Suzumiya-san, that costume is cute!"
Of course, the upperclassman who made this remark was -- herself -- adorable, shaking her head gently, with both hands balled into fists below her chin as she cheered Haruhi's change of dress.
The costume consisted of a sort of short-sleeved blazer, a miniskirt that probably touched on the edges of what the school would permit in terms of shortness, the cap, and a sort of fluffy neckerchief. "It would be nice if we had more costumes," Haruhi mused, shrugging, before she shook her head.
Unshakable as always, Nagato sat at one side of the room, next to the shelf she seemed to have decided it was her personal duty to fill with books. She was as steadfast as a samurai piling up trophies from defeated duelists, and approached that self-assigned task with the same dedication I would have expected from one of those ancient warriors.
At a glance, today's title was evidently an English publication: 'Tuck Everlasting.'
I wondered if my skills would ever get to the point where I could casually read a book in another language like she did? The thought didn't hold my attention long, though. Despite Haruhi wearing the costume, it was Asahina-san who prepared the tea and served it -- quite pleased at the skill Haruhi had taught her.
Considering how well she had applied herself, I felt her happiness was warranted! Certainly, I didn't think I could do the job nearly as well.
My attention circled around to Haruhi's costume again anyway -- and it wasn't just because it looked good on her, though that much was true in any case. Without making any fuss or announcement, as we were relaxing before beginning our assignments, Nagato silently adjusted her glasses and set her cup down before rising.
Haruhi watched curiously as the other girl went to the room's small storage cabinet and opened it -- revealing a small potted bamboo plant.
"What's this?" Haruhi exclaimed. "Rather, I know what it is -- but why do you have it? Do you know what today is?"
Well, the question wasn't aimed at me, but I happened to recall. It wasn't a particular historical event, but it was still a holiday of sorts.
"Yes," Nagato said quietly. "You said, 'Our club should have a bamboo to celebrate,' so I acquired this for all of us."
Haruhi looked mildly surprised. "From when we were watching that special on festivals? Well, it was a kid's show, but how much do you recall about the holiday? I gather than your family wasn't big on them...." She trailed off, and I think both of us realized that this might have been Nagato's way of trying to celebrate it; certainly, even if her family were wealthy, they were quite distant.
Koizumi's eyebrows rose, while Asahina-san became curious. "I must have missed that show. Um ... it's a nice enough plant," she offered. In fairness, it wasn't flowering, and bamboo isn't the most spectacular example of plant life, especially when there's just the one stalk. "Bamboo, isn't it? But what is important about today?"
Haruhi frowned thoughtfully, her gaze lingering on Nagato -- perhaps thinking the same things I was about the other girl's family. "Well ... it's an important day to me," she offered. "Hmm, it's mostly celebrated by children, though in some places they have proper festivals -- Kyon, you know it, don't you?"
"Tanabata," I answered. "Is that right?"
"Yes!" Haruhi agreed, pleased that I knew. I nodded and mulled over her costume as Haruhi patiently explained the story of Orihime and Hikoboshi to Asahina-san. She finally concluded, "...and there is also a tradition of tying your wishes to the bamboo to see if they will receive and grant your wishes!"
"I remember this tradition," Koizumi supplied, nodding.
Haruhi shook her head and turned an expectant stare on Nagato. The nearly eternally silent girl softly explained, "I have never celebrated this tradition before. It seemed ... unique."
"Well...." Haruhi hesitated only a moment before nodding and putting the plant where it would receive light from the window. "We'll have to do that together now, then! I'm surprised at you just jumping into it -- but excellent work! Though, I wonder ... how did you even get it here?"
"Yesterday," Nagato answered in a voice barely louder than a breath. Even behind the lenses of her glasses, I thought I could detect some of that rare happiness she showed me long ago -- when she paid for my library card. A debt I still had to make up, come to think of it....
Haruhi seemed to be thinking similarly, but if celebrating Tanabata with Nagato could help repay that, I'd be glad to!
"Well done!" Haruhi cheered. "Okay, on that note, I think we should each write two wishes down and tie them to this bamboo!" She hesitated a moment. "Hmm, we have construction paper and scissors, so I guess we can make our own tanzaku-- Here, Mikuru-chan, Yuki, since the two of you have never done this before, I'll show you how it's done!"
With her characteristic energy, Haruhi grabbed the supplies and set to work.
While still cutting his own tanzaku out, Koizumi mused, "With so many options, what could we wish for?"
"They're wishes -- there's no limits!" Haruhi declared, before pausing. "Actually -- I already know what Kyon will wish for. So, everyone, at least one wish must be a selfish wish, for yourself!"
I supposed that wish from me was a given, wasn't it?
"Right!" Haruhi decided, nodding firmly. Once the tanzaku were cut and arrayed, she added, "Of course, we must have a contest to see who gets their wishes granted first. If someone wishes for something difficult for the world that may take a long time, it's only reasonable to make another wish for something that's easier to grant, isn't it? Otherwise it will be a very tedious challenge!"
It didn't take long for our wishes to be gathered up, and Haruhi and Nagato tied them all carefully in place with bits of yarn-- All matter of arts-and-crafts supplies had come with the club room.
I wished for the obvious thing, so my 'equality for everyone' was offset by my 'own my own house'. Haruhi's were 'world peace' and 'to time travel, befriend an esper, or see amazing alien worlds and adventures'. Koizumi wished for 'prosperity' and 'my family to remain healthy'. Asahina-san wanted 'everyone to be happy' and 'to get better at domestic tasks', which made me wonder how well she understood the exercise. Nagato had wished for 'tranquility', which I thought was the same thing that Haruhi wished for and 'to stay with my friends'.
Waggling her finger at them gently, Haruhi admonished, "Mikuru-chan, I can teach you those things, and Yuki, we're not going to abandon you any time soon! That wish is practically cheating, since you'll win first for sure!"
"That was clever of her," Koizumi remarked, spreading his hands in a shrug. "You did say it was a contest, didn't you?"
Haruhi shook her head and sighed. "I guess I did," she mused, a bit wistfully.
He gaze went to the hanger that held her school uniform. School policy was to require that a student wore a uniform, but in cases like hers where a new uniform hadn't been obtained yet, the one from a previous school would do. Of course, without her parents to provide for her.... Of course, that was the reason for Haruhi choosing to take a part time job.
For myself, such a task was somewhat optional. The reality of the situation was that Haruhi had done some incredible things on my behalf, and she would not have ended up in such a situation if it weren't for me. So when she mentioned looking for part time work, I wanted to help her; even if I didn't need to work part-time, it did help my family out. She was fiercely independent, and even if Nagato gave her a place to stay, she wasn't going to accept it as charity.
That meant that among their household, Haruhi did the lion's share of the chores, and as she'd confided to me in exasperation, Asahina-san's cooking was worse than my mother's, and Nagato was simply too lazy to make more than the most simple curry. She didn't really give me the impression that she actually minded; that gave her an opportunity to prove herself by ensuring that they ate properly, and enjoyed a greater variety.
Still, because she was also contributing to her share of groceries when she could, she hadn't saved enough to buy a uniform.
It was at that point, pondering her somewhat happy, yet also melancholy expression, that I had an epiphany.
Haruhi wore the stewardess outfit because she didn't like wearing her Kitago uniform. There was a time when she would have reveled in having an excuse to dress differently and stand out, but that had passed, and she wanted the same uniform as anyone else. Of course, even if Asahina-san or Nagato were to offer, she wouldn't accept a gift.
The pair of them would probably be willing to make the offer, and after what Haruhi had done to keep their household neat, they would consider it more than a fair trade. But that didn't matter in the slightest if Haruhi herself felt she couldn't accept it. My mother might have been able to convince Haruhi to accept such a gift, but even with my income added to the household, our budget was tight. Most of what I made went to support our aging car.
So ... Haruhi was stuck wearing the uniform of a school she now found distasteful, until she managed to save up enough somehow, and I was powerless to help her.
I suddenly felt I understood her melancholy, but also felt even more indebted to the uncle that had granted me my own uniform as a gift.
"Ah," Haruhi realized, looking at the clock as the school's chime rang. "Well -- Koizumi-kun, Kyon, you can go ahead, since I have to change."
"Alright," we agreed, shrugging to one-another.
There was an unavoidable sense of regret when we parted, no matter how I wracked my brain to mend the situation.
I drifted into wakefulness in an unfamiliar place. I wasn't in my bed, being woken up by my sister, but instead sitting on a park bench in an odd position. While I would normally get cold in such a situation, sleeping on a park bench sitting upright, I had an unexpected source of warmth curled up next to me.
Sleeping as peacefully as I felt I must have been a moment ago, her expression more charming than usual, was Haruhi. For reasons I couldn't fathom, my arm was about her, and she was leaning into me, eyes closed as her soft breath drew in and out, one hand folded neatly against my chest. She shifted her shoulders a tiny bit, and I couldn't resist the temptation to reach out and brush a stray hair back, behind her ear.
Her eyes fluttered open as she blinked at me in a dazed exhaustion, before her face scrunched up in confusion. Pushing herself free of me, she scratched her head curiously before allowing a great yawn to escape and stretching her arms over her head. I recovered my own arm from where it had been curled around her and turned to look forward.
The area seemed vaguely familiar to me; a scene like one I must have walked past on Haruhi's 'mystery search' while chatting with Asahina-san. It was too late in the season, even in this odd dream, for cherry blossoms. Haruhi huffed a small sigh when she looked down at herself and recognized her Kitago uniform-- For myself, though I had not thought of it, I realized I was wearing my Hikami Gakuen uniform still.
Neither of us said anything for a long moment, until Haruhi frowned, raising a hand to pinch her cheek -- scowling.
"Have I hit my head?" I wondered, looking at her askance.
"I don't think this is a dream, but I have no idea how I got here," Haruhi replied, looking at me askance. "And I don't suppose you do, either? Because this would be a pretty astounding prank, but I can't imagine how you'd pull it off!"
"There must be some explanation for how we came to wake up on a park bench," I answered thoughtfully, rubbing my chin.
Haruhi smacked one small fist decisively into the opposing palm. "Alright!" she declared. "We're going to find a newspaper -- see how much time has passed between today and Tanabata."
That seemed reasonable enough in this seemingly inexplicable situation, so I agreed, and we climbed to our feet. Haruhi's eyes were shining with excitement, but somehow, far less than I would have expected from what I would have guessed her reaction to be when we both attended Kitago.
She gave me a strange look after setting into motion, leading us down a path out of the park we were in.
"You're not as enthusiastic about this as I would have expected," I said, prompted by her questioning gaze.
"Well, we could be having a grand adventure," she counted. "But we might also have been drugged, or something, and missed work-- I'll be quite upset if we lose our jobs over this!"
...that idea hadn't even occurred to me. "Responsibility does put a bit of a damper on the mystery," I mumbled in agreement, frowning. "Drugged, though? Could that have happened?"
She touched a fingertip to her lower lip, frowning thoughtfully. "I'll be upset if it did. We may have been hypnotized, too -- but that's impossible unless we willingly accepted it."
"That raises even more questions," I sighed, running a hand through my hair.
"Maybe we were abducted by aliens?" she posed. "They just put us back when they were done and wiped our memories? I'd be very upset at that, though! How can we meet and play with them, and maybe look to them for guidance to resolve this world's issues, if they make us forget afterward!"
I scratched my head and tried to consider that, but the situation was too daunting for me to fully comprehend. I had enough difficulty trying to study for any subject beyond history without Haruhi's help!
She paused at the edge of the path, as it met the sidewalk. There was a newspaper vending machine there, and Haruhi frowned at it through the glass.
"Looks like they haven't changed the papers in a while," I said thoughtfully, looking at the day.
"In three years," Haruhi retorted dryly. Her eyes suddenly shot wide as I double-checked, realizing she was correct. "We-- We've somehow gone back in time!" she exclaimed, hopping in excitement. "Kyon, do you realize what this means?"
I was too busy trying to understand how we went back in time. Thinking of Haruhi's earlier gesture, I followed suit, pinching the back of one hand. It hurt enough for me!
"How did this happen?" I marveled.
"I don't-- I don't know," she said. "But we have to go-- Quickly, come with me!"
She burst into a run, and I was hard-pressed to follow her. With her athletic ability, she had to restrain herself; if pinching my hand weren't enough, I was ragged and exhausted from the run!
"They're not here yet," she groused, while I heaved for breath and only slowly absorbed our surroundings. We'd run quite a few blocks -- people we'd passed didn't seem to give us much more heed than any other pair of running students.
"Who?" I asked.
She stamped a foot and shook her head, grabbing a familiar gate with one hand-- Ah, I did recall this place. We'd been here once before; the back entrance to East Middle School.
"Three years ago-- Well, no. Actually today, I came here. That is ... the me of three years ago," she clarified, giving me a frustrated glance. "And that younger me met two people -- a boy and a girl. They told me some things I ... didn't pay complete attention to at the time. I've wondered who they were and wanted to meet them again -- and now we have a chance to do that!"
"Okay," I said, frowning as I stood up, wiping the sweat from my brow with my handkerchief. "Do you suppose they were time travelers?"
"I'm sure they were," she said adamantly. "They were waiting inside the gate when I got here, so climb over the gate and open it for me!"
"You climb over the gate," I admonished her gently, one hand going to the side where my stitch was still fading. "You're a better athlete."
Plucking the hem of her skirt with one hand, Haruhi's eyebrows rose. "Are you trying to see under my skirt?" she prompted.
"I'll climb the gate," I corrected myself, blushing faintly. Even if I was tired, I should have been more considerate, shouldn't I? My mother would scold me, for certain.
I was clambering over the fence before I reconsidered my thoughts. My mother would be much more upset about me breaking into a school, wouldn't she? Or would she be supportive enough of Haruhi that she actually would be more upset that I hadn't helped?
Well, unless my memories were off, I evidently had at least three years before it would be an issue, didn't I?
After dropping to the ground inside the gate, I undid the heavy latch and threw myself into hauling the weighty thing open. It was a good thing I kept my muscles in shape with those boxes at work! Even so, Haruhi helped eagerly, squeezing through as soon as it was wide enough to fit her.
She paused once we were both inside, surveying the area around us. It was deserted, which was probably for the best. A security guard, or the teacher on duty at the moment would have gotten us in quite a bit of trouble!
Between our gate and the school was a path, to one side of which was the school's track. The lawn inside it was pristine, invitingly green; if it were shady, I would have gravitated to it in an instant and happily napped beneath a tree.
"They're not here," Haruhi said slowly, looking around.
"What do they look like?" I asked, leaning back against the gate we'd left rolled partially open.
"The girl had hair in ribbons and a uniform I didn't recognize, and the boy...." She trailed off after glancing toward me, blinking rapidly. "...oh."
I frowned, looking over at her. She was the only girl in sight with ribbons in her hair. I was the only boy at all -- it didn't take me long to make a guess. "If we've time traveled, somehow, does that mean your younger self met both of us in the past?"
"I think so," Haruhi said slowly, leaning against the gatepost, leaving the gap between us as she frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. "My younger self probably won't get here for a bit. But how did we get here?"
"That's what I'd like to know," I replied, shrugging.
Neither of us had an immediate answer. On the other hand, we were involved in a true mystery! Exactly the kind of thing she'd wished for! "I guess this means you won the Tanabata contest," I remarked. "Even before Nagato-san -- by three years, even!"
She turned to stare at me before rolling her eyes, though she smiled as she looked away. "Dummy," she chastised me gently. "You think that's what's important?"
"But maybe that's it?" I posed. "You made a wish, and it was granted by Orihime and Hikoboshi?"
Taken slightly aback, her smile faded. "I suppose that is true," she agreed thoughtfully. "Hmm, does that mean that world peace will come, too?"
I couldn't complain if that were true; at that date, the war in Vietnam had ended only a few months prior. We mulled that over for a period, considering the implications. "What do we do, though?" I wondered. "We got to time travel, because of your wish ... does that mean that once we meet your younger self, we get to go back?"
"I--" She cut herself off, shifting her hands to her hips as she pursed her lips thoughtfully. After a pause, she slowly said, "I hope so. But we could also take advantage of things and rewrite history, couldn't we? Think of it -- Kitago hasn't even finished being built yet! We could ensure that Asakura and her stupid book never got into the school!"
"We could arrange things to discriminate against her?" I asked, frowning. "And if we did that, wouldn't we have lost our chance to meet Koizumi-kun?"
"Damn," Haruhi cursed, frowning. "Well -- there's no reason we couldn't meet him anyway! We know where to find him, after all! In any case, it seems a shame to waste this opportunity!"
"I wish I had memorized winning lottery numbers," I agreed. "My younger self could use them. Ah, or horse racing results. Well, I could tell my father who wins the Japan Series for the next three years."
"Hankyu Braves," Haruhi agreed with a chuckle. "But...."
I looked over to her as she stared at the field. "But?" I prompted.
She shook her head. "I'm not ... sure that's the right thing to do," she mumbled, frowning. "Even if we could stay at Kitago, I'd still have my disagreement with ... my parents."
I normally would lack the courage to broach such a topic with Haruhi, but due to the unreal circumstances, I felt I could be more earnest than I typically was. We were already in the past -- able to change the fabric of history itself, if we so chose!
Strange that it motivated me to try and change the present ... but then, isn't that what history does anyway? So emboldened, I suggested, "But then you wouldn't have to hate your uniform, at least. Even if you didn't stay with your parents...."
"Huh?" she wondered, blinking. "Eh-- Well, I was really happy when I got this -- for what it represented," she explained, plucking at the fabric of her blouse.
"But you'd be happier just blending in with everyone else, though, right?" I prompted, when she fell silent.
"What?" she asked, dropping the pinched cloth and regarding me in confusion. "No -- that's stupid," she corrected with a small smile and shake of her head. "Standing out is fine, and I even have an excuse -- I don't like people being judged for things that are beyond their control, but if someone excels or is outstanding ... the way you were when you were so reasonable with me....
"There are a lot of reasons not to be happy about this uniform, though," she continued, her gaze going to the school building before us.
"Well.... I don't like it mostly because it does remind me of Kitago," Haruhi continued, when I remained silent. "And thinking about that ... I'm not sure I actually care to change things to get to stay there. Maybe you're right, and we are better off at Hikami Gakuen-- No, even if you don't say it, I know for certain I'm happier there." She nodded decisively.
"I see," I said slowly, grimacing a bit at what was becoming my unfortunate stock phrase. Discontent to just let things stay on that line again, I plowed on: "It makes me feel in your debt, that you feel so strongly about what happened. Somewhere in my closet there is still that old uniform, since I had no other idea of what to do with it.... Perhaps I could have the school logo carefully removed and just use it as a suit?" I shrugged; I doubted that the same option would apply for Haruhi, and in any case, that didn't address the issue of her not having a proper uniform. "In any case, you're right, and it's time to move on."
"I could help -- I'd be happy to erase that symbol from your old uniform," Haruhi replied, smiling softly. "But if you feel you owe me for some reason -- stupid as that is -- you'd never accept the offer, would you?"
What an amusing conundrum. I couldn't help but chuckle, spreading my hands in a sigh. "You're right," I agreed. "I have to pay you back, somehow, not get further in your debt."
"You dummy," she chastised me, in a tone of voice that failed to be admonishing or harsh. "I guess you're a bit like me in that way, though...." Haruhi sighed and her expression sobered after flashing me a brief, sunny smile. "It's not like I can escape my personal debts, either, so I do understand.
"I'm not willing to go back to them, anyway, though," she explained, going back to the topic of her parents. "That's the real reason to dislike this uniform. Part of it is that it's true I never really realized how much I relied on them until I stopped. But those hardships are nothing compared to the fact that ... I miss them.
"I hate that they're so stupid about your ancestors and making this big nonsense fuss over it.... Well, my mom more than my father. This is the uniform that they gave me, though, and it just always reminds me that ... even with Koizumi-kun getting us part-time work with him, I can't really make it on my own."
"Well, you're doing an amazing job," I countered, shaking my head. "Even if you don't give yourself credit, you took a substantial risk to stand up for what you believe in -- and you haven't backed down. Of course, from what I know of you, you'd never back down, but even facing the consequences of your actions, you aren't flinching." I bit my tongue, considering things. I'd already admitted how much I owed her, so I screwed up my courage and blurted out, "I think that might be what I admire the most about you!"
She turned to stare at me, eyes widening as her face turned red. "I...if you feel you owe me ... you could make that debt up, you know," she muttered, looking away. "I ... wouldn't want it to be the only reason, but if you were to ask me out, I would not refuse."
"As amazing as you are, a person like me--"
"Who cares about your ancestors! Your grandparents could have been gravediggers or princes, and I wouldn't care!" she retorted in irritation, her blush fading, before she paused. "Actually, gravediggers would have pretty amazing stories, I think -- and could have buried any number of princes.... But that's not the point at all anyway!"
"I wasn't thinking of that as much as the fact that I don't think I could accomplish what you have," I said, a bit more quietly. I couldn't help but think that I might have been in partial shock. That should have been justified, after traveling back three years, though!
"In any case, if my family didn't support me, I'd be lost -- so for that, you do an amazing job. Even if you do have to rely on your friends," I continued. "I can't see that as a thing to be ashamed of. If you wanted...." I hesitated. I didn't want to say it, but I had to make myself voice the possibility:
"You know, Haruhi, setting everything else aside, you could go back to your parents and make up with them -- until you are ready."
"Not even an option," she declared without hesitation, shooting me a sharp glare. "I chose you over them, and I stand by that -- no matter what."
It was quiet for a brief period, as we both stared at the school building again.
"I still miss them, though," she sighed quietly. "Your father is friendly, and your cute little sister ... and your mom is funny, even if she is a bit dull in the kitchen. But isn't it human nature to be greedy and want more than you have?"
I couldn't help but recall thinking similar things -- just before Haruhi re-entered my life and I got what I wished for. I wasn't about to judge her for wanting to have her cake and eat it, too -- not about that subject.
"I don't know how to fix that," I admitted, frowning. "I can only hope that social attitudes are like a sandy beach -- the waves of progress eventually change their shapes, and given enough time...."
Haruhi heaved a gloomy sigh at that. "I'll make enough over summer break to get a real uniform," she said after a moment. "And at least then, I won't have to wear this anymore," she added, pointing at her skirt.
"If it really bothers you, your friends are more than willing to help you out," I suggested. "And even if it took you a while to pay it back, we wouldn't mind." I already knew what answer she would have, and could only shrug when she began shaking her head before I finished.
She pushed herself away from the wall she was leaning on, smoothing the disliked skirt out. "Behind that wall," she declared very quietly, pointing past the gate.
I followed her instructions without hesitation, mirroring her own position; though we were inside, we were placed like gate guards at an ancient daimyo's castle, weren't we? As I stood at the ready, I heard footsteps slapping against the pavement outside, a shadow crossing the gate as a small figure froze on the walkway outside of the school.
A figure that I realized must be Haruhi's younger self stepped through, her long hair whipping about behind her as she stared between myself and her older self in confusion. This smaller figure's eyes widened in alarm, and then narrowed in a scowl as she glared at us. "What are you doing here?" she demanded in a voice that was slightly higher pitched, and much haughtier.
Knowing who she grew into, I couldn't help but find her younger self adorable, despite that attitude.
"Celebrating Tanabata, of course!" Haruhi answered without hesitation, putting her hands on her hips. "Now, are you going to tell us what you are doing here, or should we find if there's a teacher at the front gatehouse?"
The smaller Haruhi's glare sharpened. "Fine," she snapped tersely. "But since you're here, you're going to help me do it," she declared, sniffing and gesturing us to follow her.
Haruhi nodding, falling into step. "Of course, of course," she agreed, smirking at her younger self. I followed, but thinking of the nature of things, didn't bother closing the gate afterward.
Nodding decisively, the younger Haruhi sped off to a storage shed ahead of us as Haruhi and I strolled forward sedately. "What do you remember me doing here, anyway?" I wondered.
"More manual labor," the girl in the Kitago uniform answered, smiling sweetly. "Maybe you can think of perpetrating this crime for my younger self as a way to repay your 'debt' to me? In either case, I get to work with you."
"I'll probably always feel like I owe you, but I'd like that," I admitted, even if I was puzzled by our undertaking. By the time we caught up with her, the somewhat breathless smaller Haruhi had managed to successfully break into the equipment storage shed, and laboriously hauled out the line-marker.
The Haruhi at my side worked with me to haul bags of chalk out and fill the thing -- before the smaller version of herself could bark out the order to do so. I could tell that she was put out, annoyed that she had lost the opportunity. "How do you know what to do?" she asked me with a suspicious glare.
"A good leader inspires others to follow," I answered with a shrug. She had a good question, but in reality, the older Haruhi should have remembered what happened, so I just needed to follow her example.
"Well!" the smaller Haruhi declared, crossing her arms over her chest. "In that case, make the marks as I tell you!"
"And why's that?" the amused older Haruhi asked her younger self.
"So we can contact ... aliens, espers -- something amazing!" was the snapped back response. "Why do you think?"
"If Hikoboshi and Orihime are lonely, shouldn't we send them a message to feel less alone?" Haruhi offered.
The younger girl huffed, "Being alone has to be better than being surrounded by boring people!"
At my side, the older girl stiffened slightly -- her younger self seemed to miss it, staring at me.
"Don't you think so?" Haruhi's younger self demanded.
"There have been times I'd be happier left alone and ignored than the alternative," I answered honestly. "But finding people you like to be around is very, very important, too."
The smaller Haruhi rolled her eyes. "Let's get to work before it gets dark!" she ordered. "Okay, Gakuran," she said, nicknaming me after my uniform. "Move the line-marker to the corner over there." She pointed imperiously, even while turning her face to her older self. "And you ... Ribbons," she decided, her pointing finger sweeping out to follow her gaze, "stay halfway between us to pass messages to Gakuran."
"We'll switch out every so often, but fine," Haruhi agreed, as her younger self climbed the steps that overlooked the field and turned around.
Haruhi relayed her younger counterpart's messages, though there was no real need. Her younger self had a loud enough voice that I could hear it just fine, though it was amusing the way that Haruhi dropped the imperious tones and was more polite about it. Thanks to her running interference, my impression of the younger Haruhi being cute wasn't dimmed by her attitude in the slightest.
When my arms began to tire after a few minutes because one of the line marker's wheels didn't turn well, Haruhi ignored her younger self's demands that we get back to work and switched out with me. I pacified the younger Haruhi, "If neither of us gets too tired, we'll get the work done faster."
Somehow, that did calm her. As odd and amusing as the entire task was, I was still quite tired by the time we were finished. Even with her seemingly boundless energy, the older Haruhi was all too eager to join me on the steps as we surveyed our handiwork. The symbols were largely nonsense to me -- random squiggles that could mean anything, really. They made no sense to my mind, but I was satisfied with the job we'd done anyway.
Come to think of it, even if it were an entire school ago, hadn't I been told by someone that Haruhi had drawn symbols like that on the lawn? How strange to think I was actually hearing about my own exploits! Of course, Haruhi had me entirely outdone, since two of her were involved in doing it!
The older Haruhi smiled, nearly glowing despite her own evident exertion, appreciating the end result.
"Hey, Gakuran," the smaller girl suddenly piped up, breaking off from her own study of the field as the sun set.
I turned to regard her with one raised eyebrow.
Thrusting her chin toward me, she haughtily demanded to know, "Do you think there are aliens?"
"Out there somewhere," I agreed, thinking of Haruhi's interest in them.
"Espers?" she prompted, frowning.
I tapped my chin. "Probably," I mused.
"Ribbons," she announced, frowning at her older self. "What about you? Think there are time travelers?"
"Must be," Haruhi answered without hesitation, still gazing at the field. "It'd be strange if it were just the two of us who ever got to go back, wouldn't it?"
The younger Haruhi in her casual clothes stared, eyes bulging before they narrowed.
"Of course, memories are traveling back in time, and anyone can do that," Haruhi added. "We all move forward through time, too -- but more than that? Jumping forward and backward in time?"
"Yes, stupid," the younger girl snapped.
Haruhi only laughed, though I had to frown slightly. Would Haruhi judge herself so harshly?
"Not sure if they're ready for us to know about them yet," the older one decided after a thoughtful pause. "They would have to be very careful about what they did, possibly even only visiting their own pasts! But anyway, you don't just find those amazing beings first."
"Well, you find them and play with them, of course!" the younger agreed, placing her hands on her hips. "What's the point in just finding them?"
"I mean, before you find amazing beings, you have to find amazing people," Haruhi gently corrected her younger self.
"Somewhere," the younger girl said doubtfully. "And where do you find them, anyway?"
"Well, speaking personally, I found the most amazing person I know at the school this uniform is from," Haruhi explained, gesturing at her Kitago outfit.
I hoped the flush on my face would be attributed to the heat. "Well, I know I met the most amazing person I know there, too," I managed to offer.
"What's your name, anyway?" the younger Haruhi asked me suspiciously.
"He's John Smith," Haruhi supplied, smirking. "I'm Sarah Jane."
The smaller girl's expression turned flat and unimpressed at that answer, even when I shrugged helplessly beneath her gaze, as if to say, "There you have it!"
"Then what are you?" the younger girl prompted. "Brother and sister?" Grimacing with distaste, she added, "Boyfriend and girlfriend?"
Haruhi's lyrical laugh and shake of her head were the first response, followed by the older girl's, "Some day, you'll find out for certain!"
Snorting, the younger girl pointedly turned her face away with an exaggerated toss of her hair, and stared at the symbol on the lawn for a long moment. With surprising suddenness, she abruptly announced, "I'm going now!" and jogged down the steps.
Haruhi sighed as she watched the younger version of her vanish through the gate. "I wonder now," she said slowly. "Why did we get to come back here? And what happens next, anyway?"
"Are you happy with what we've done so far?" I wondered. "We had grand plans, even if we haven't finished them. But maybe we still have time? Lottery numbers, changing things at Kitago...."
She shook her head. "It's unique enough getting to meet your past self," she mused slowly. "And I think ... thanks to both of us getting this one-of-a-kind opportunity, we've gotten a chance to say things we might not have figured out how to otherwise, haven't we?"
I couldn't deny that. "True enough," I agreed, spreading my hands in a shrug.
"It's probably shameless to say, but that smaller and younger me was kind of cute," Haruhi sighed.
"In a way," I had to agree. "You know, long hair really suited you."
She looked at me curiously, her expression falling slightly. "You liked that more?" she wondered.
There was no point in lying; wasn't the point that we were being honest with one-another? "Well, you look fine the way you are, too," I said with a shrug. "Hair is just an accessory, isn't it? You can change your hat, or your clothes.... And even if you can't, I admire the person behind it more than I appreciate just the surface values. You don't judge me for the unwanted accessory of my past, after all. Don't I owe you the same?"
"Ah...." She smiled and shook her head, seeming to steel herself. "What-- What I'm really saying is that I really ... really like you," Haruhi managed, her face red. "But I think that even if you play dumb, you already know that."
"Guilty as charged," I admitted after a hesitant pause, smiling weakly. The mood was getting heavy, though. She was right, but wasn't this moving too quickly? Regarding the fruit of our labor, I tried to change the subject. "What is the symbol, anyway?" I asked. "It doesn't look like any language I know."
"It.... It was a message. When I was the smaller me, I thought it was to Hikoboshi and Orihime, but now that I'm the one who drew it, I think it's different," Haruhi explained, hopping to her feet and stretching her arms over her head. "I wanted to tell them that I wasn't satisfied and wanted to join them.
"Now, though, I know that the message wasn't just for them. I wanted someone to recognize me -- to see to the real me, and not just look at me as 'another boring human.' The message was, 'I am here!'"
She took a deep breath and turned to face me. "But stop trying to avoid the subject -- the one I'm really happiest to send that message to is the one right beside me. That smaller me may not remember this clearly, but that doesn't matter as much, since I understand why it happens -- and that it's because it's something we both want," she concluded, her smile radiant. I was drawn to my feet by her expression, hopeful, happy, and the faintest shade melancholy.
I don't know that I'd ever received such a compliment -- or that anyone had, in reality. In all honesty, I felt that eclipsed even the mysterious circumstances of our time travel -- and I suspected that she felt the same way, since she was still regarding me, and not trying to puzzle out how we'd gotten there.
Haruhi laughed again and stepped closer, clasping my hands in hers, and holding them between us. She hesitated a moment, and I wondered what she had in mind. Even if I couldn't -- if I didn't have the courage in the real world, just like she said -- here.... So, everything that happened before 'had' to for some reason? I wasn't sure I understood that, but I did like the idea of having more freedom. Aside from that, I felt I owed her ... but I could understand if she honestly said she didn't care. Debt aside, she'd been right on the mark; I did feel that way about her, didn't I?
It was a bit scary, really, both moving so fast and somehow moving through time -- but Haruhi was right, in the end. I wanted it too much to try and fight now, myself; despite my anxiety, well ... for her, and I suppose because of her, I succumbed.
Her eyes drifted shut as my face neared hers. Her face tilted back, and very gently as my own eyes closed, our lips touched. Her hands released mine as she gently hugged me, and my own arms went about her.... Was this okay? Were we rushing carelessly ahead?
Perhaps, I was simply overthinking things? I couldn't really keep all those thoughts in my head, though-- I mostly could only think of her. The contact was sweet and lingering, Haruhi in my arms as she had been before once, when we reunited at Hikami Gakuen, but the instant we parted....
As if in response to my anxiety, well ... everything went dark.
The next moment, I was cursing as I crashed to the floor, tangled in my blankets and disoriented. I spent a minute to realize where I was before cursing even more; I wasn't frequently given to the habit, but it felt more than warranted!
Something that absurdly strange and self-indulgent couldn't really have happened, could it? I grumbled for long minutes in a collapsed heap on my floor, too irate to even clamber back into my bed. Time traveling? Just for the sake of Haruhi confessing to me?
Yeah, right!
As if either of us could just dismiss what I owed her so casually!
If my subconscious had a physical form, I might get into a fight with it over such a thing!
As realistic as it was, such a fantasy had clearly been a dream. After a few minutes, I sighed and climbed back into my bed to eke out what sleep I could, emotionally exhausted enough that I felt I had actually done an evening of work instead of idling.
While I seldom recalled my dreams, I had a sense that one would stick with me for a long time -- possibly even forever!