Disclaimer: The series begun with the light novel 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi'/'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended with the creation of this work.
I had managed to get some rest after that strange dream, but was still feeling sluggish and drained when I trudged into the classroom. It would be the weekend soon, and I was greatly looking forward to our now regular get-together. Nagato hosted us, typically, and by Haruhi's decree, it was a pot-luck style affair.
This meant bringing one or two ingredients and handing them over to Haruhi, who was the unquestioned queen of the kitchen. Koizumi and I would stay safely out of her way and idle in the living room, while Haruhi explained the basics of cooking to Asahina-san, who took every instruction as a fascinating new insight. Lately, the upperclassman had gained the courage to try her hand at a few side-dishes, leaving her positively glowing with satisfaction when we praised her.
In fairness, Asahina-san was at least my mother's equal.
Nagato sat with Koizumi and myself, playing games or just reading a book, depending on her mood. When asked why she didn't join Haruhi in the kitchen, she dodged additional work with the explanation that, "Suzumiya Haruhi is a superior cook."
Haruhi managed to keep from blushing too darkly at the praise, but didn't pressure Nagato after that.
Cleanup afterward fell to Koizumi and I, but the distribution of labor seemed fair by my reckoning.
Such thoughts were not foremost on my mind, admittedly, as I was still contemplating that dream. I tried to focus on the weekend more, but couldn't banish the output of my slumbering mind so easily.
When I stepped into the classroom, I saw that Haruhi had beaten me there, looking even more tired than I felt; she'd done her hair up in the best ponytail she could manage with her hair at it's current length.
I took my seat before asking, "Rough night?"
"Strange dream," she answered, blowing out a sigh and rubbing at her cheeks. "It woke me up in the middle of the night and I couldn't get back to sleep...."
What an interesting coincidence. "Was it a nightmare?"
"Worse," she answered, sighing. "When you have a nightmare, you wake up and it's over; you can be relieved that it's gone. When you have a truly wonderful dream, you wake up and have lost everything. I'd rather have nightmares every night than a dream of something fantastic that I can see when I'm asleep, but not in the real world."
"I guess that makes sense," I said thoughtfully. "In fact, I once had a dream...." She turned to look at me directly, eyebrows rising in interest.
"It was some time ago," I amended. "In middle school-- But I dreamed that classes were canceled for a day. Somehow, I knew it was a dream, and instead of enjoying that time off, I was just upset that I would wake up and not have it."
"In that case, maybe it's better to not know it was a dream, so you can at least enjoy it a little before you lose it," she said thoughtfully, relaxing as her gaze went to the nearby windows.
That could be true as well, I supposed. "What did you dream about?" I wondered.
"E...eh, I'll tell you ... later," she mumbled, shaking her head. "Never mind that for now." She paused to toy with some loose hair that had escaped her ponytail, frowning at nothing in particular while avoiding meeting my gaze. "Do you think I should grow my hair out?"
I wasn't sure what brought that question on, so I settled back into my chair. "Well, it's up to you," I said slowly. "You might attract a great crowd of admirers, though, as I heard you did through middle school!"
"Eh...." Was her wordless reply, releasing the hair she was curling about one finger to stare at the board. "Maybe at some point later, then," she mused quietly. "This is easier to manage."
"Then, doesn't that suit you?"
She made a sound in reply, but her gaze was distant, her thoughts elsewhere.
Despite being tired, I managed to focus on my lessons after that. Though Haruhi typically sat next to me and discussed plans for the club, or even just groused about work during lunch, today she was distracted. Nozomu pounced almost as soon as the bell rang. "Haruhi-chan!" she called, grinning. "Um, hmm, I want to ask you for some advice!"
Haruhi raised her eyebrows and shrugged. "Looking for part-time work?" she wondered.
"Uhm...." Nozomu's cheeks were a faint pink as she shook her head lightly. "It's a secret," she said with a significant glance at me.
"Should I give you some space?" I wondered, despite being curious as to the topic of conversation.
"Well, maybe you could help, too," Nozomu said thoughtfully, glancing at the class rep, where he was chatting with some other boys in our classroom. "See...." Her voice dropped to a whisper as she leaned a bit closer to Haruhi and explained, "It's about--"
"Ah-- W-we should discuss that elsewhere!" Haruhi said quickly, her eyes widening as the exhaustion marking her face abruptly vanished. She hopped to her feet with her normal energy and shook her head furiously. "Um, come on, Nozomu-chan!"
The other girl was hauled behind Haruhi at a speed the track club would have hung their heads and wept in envy over. It was another two years until the next Olympics, but the 8th Asian Games would be in Thailand in the coming December. I was absolutely certain that she would be able to train herself to compete in that time, if she had wanted to!
Of course, that wasn't what she actually spent her energy on; when I'd offhandedly mentioned her capability once, she'd dismissed it as 'boring' and insisted she had better things to do with her time.
In the meantime, I did wonder what prompted her haste. She was out of my view, but looking into the hall I could see Asahina-san standing outside the doorway, looking after Haruhi and offering a charming smile at the girl who was her roommate and friend. Turning to look into the classroom, Asahina-san's eyes widened as they met mine, and she jumped slightly, before raising a hand in a nervous wave.
Shrugging, I climbed to my feet and moved to the hall, since I hadn't unwrapped my bento yet. "Hello, Asahina-san," I greeted her. "What brings you to this class?"
I was carefully oblivious to the envious stares of the other boys in the classroom. Touching her pointer fingers together and shooting one last glance at the corridor Haruhi had vanished down, she giggled, for some reason. Unable to meet my eyes when I drew close, she asked, "Um ... could I speak to you for a few minutes, Kyon-kun?"
I couldn't say 'no' to that, could I?
I shrugged and stepped through the doorway in answer. She beckoned me to follow, still smiling.
"You're quite cheerful today," I had to remark. Not that I could complain; like Haruhi, Asahina-san is a person I thought should always have reasons to be happy. And shame on the person who gave her a reason to feel otherwise!
"Ah, I--" She cut off and looked evasive, reminding me again of my younger sister. In almost a mumble, she said, "Suzumiya-san just told me about a strange dream she had last night -- um, but nevermind that!"
Well, I supposed it wasn't any of my business, even if I was curious. If Haruhi wanted me to know, she'd tell me in her own time. "I see...."
Not much of an answer, but that seemed to be my pathetic default.
I was mildly surprised to find that Asahina-san lead us to the clubroom -- on occasion we'd eat lunch together there during work days. After setting my bento on the table I nodding to Nagato, who was already deep in a new title. My faltering English picked out, 'Ringworld,' before turning my attention back to Asahina-san.
Her cheer had faded to a look of consternation as she closed the door and hesitated. "Um ... how to say it..." she hedged. "Ah, well ... Kyon-kun, have you noticed that Suzumiya-san seems to not like her uniform?"
Well, as a matter of fact, I had. I nodded at that as I took a seat. Fidgeting for a moment, Asahina-san brightened as she turned her attention to the tea set that Haruhi had taken with her before leaving Kitago, and began preparing a batch of tea.
While waiting for the water to boil, Asahina-san hedged, "Um ... somehow ... I want to help Suzumiya-san, but I think she wouldn't be happy if I were too direct about it?"
Nagato looked up and nodded her agreement, pausing to adjust her glasses and watching us curiously instead of going back to the pages.
"That's certainly true," I agreed, shrugging.
"So ... what do you think I should do that she wouldn't mind?" Asahina-san posed.
My expression must have twisted to a grimace; this was a difficult question indeed, wasn't it? I couldn't meet either her gaze or Nagato's, and my eyes wandered as I wracked my brain. Why couldn't I be sharper about things like this? Haruhi would have found a way to handle it, I was sure....
My roving attention settled on the stewardess costume that Haruhi frequently wore, and then moved on to the potted bamboo that Nagato had brought into the room. Still trying to pick out something that would give me a clue or an idea, my eyes flicked from tanzaku to tanzaku before I jumped to my feet in realization. My chair scooted back loudly and Asahina-san squeaked in alarm, almost spilling the tea she was just pouring.
"Ah-- Was it-- Do you know something?" she asked hopefully.
"Yes -- I think so," I said slowly. "Though, in truth, it was you and Nagato-san who provided the clues-- Asahina-san, you want to improve your sewing skills, don't you?"
"Yes!" she exclaimed. Tilting her head to one side, she said, "But ... I don't think I could make a uniform? The handbook says that uniforms must be professionally made, too...."
I waved a hand. "That's true, but it wouldn't stop Haruhi," I countered. "And I think she'd be good enough it would be very hard for anyone to tell, anyway. But that's not the point. What is important is the fact that while Haruhi wouldn't be happy about a gift she felt she couldn't pay back, it's just a question of how you present it. Haruhi's great at sewing, isn't she?"
"Yes," Asahina-san said slowly, pausing to shoot an admiring glance at the stewardess costume before she served out tea for the three of us. "But I don't understand?"
"She mentioned her parents had a sewing machine.... Learning how to use one of those might be difficult, but she already knows how -- so if you were to get one for yourself, and let her use it to teach you how to sew...."
Asahina-san's eyes lit up in understanding as Nagato nodded slowly, remarking, "Efficient."
"Ah!" Asahina-san exclaimed cheerfully, seizing me in a hug that briefly blanked my mind of the ability to think straight. This was the second time I'd been hugged in that room, and while it wasn't as significant as the other, I would be lying if I said it were unpleasant. "That's brilliant, Kyon-kun!"
Of course -- this was the moment when the door opened again, and Haruhi stepped in, Koizumi just behind her.
Haruhi stared for a long minute, as Asahina-san squeaked and paled, releasing me and jumping away as though burned. "Um-- Um-- Er--"
"What's this all about?" Haruhi asked dourly, her expression sullen.
"Uh," I stammered, any 'brilliance' I had wasted and spent on the idea that had cheered Asahina-san so.
"E...eeh," Asahina-san whimpered.
"Asahina Mikuru asked for advice on learning how to sew," Nagato supplied quietly, raising her teacup. "It was suggested that you might be able to teach her."
"Well, I could," Haruhi drawled, frowning as she and Koizumi entered, setting their bento boxes on the table. "What brought this up?"
"The-- Competition!" Asahina-san yelped quickly, smiling. "Um, I want to try my hardest, like you said, so should learn sewing better!"
"Ah," Haruhi sighed, cocking her head to one side. "At this rate, I just might lose."
"No, no--" Asahina-san stuttered. "Um, Kyon-kun had good advice, and I was so happy -- um, he's like a very clever little brother!"
Curiously, such a remark didn't sting me the way I thought it should. I remembered a day in a different clubroom when Asahina-san cried over something Haruhi had done -- before she'd come to regard the girl as such a close friend. Thinking of that, I couldn't help but mutter, softly enough that Haruhi could hear, and Asahina-san couldn't, "While that's similar to my own feelings, I somehow feel more like she's the younger one...."
Haruhi snorted at that, her grim expression finally washing away. "Well, I don't mind teaching you, Mikuru-chan -- you had only to ask, after all! Hmm, it's easier with a sewing machine, but that's fine. We'll need some thread and needles, and I think a good practice project for you would be to make a stuffed animal. It does take patience, however!"
"Ah, um, could you, maybe, help me pick out a machine?" Asahina-san asked hopefully. "Maybe.... I could meet you after work?"
Haruhi's eyes narrowed in suspicion.
Did she see through our little plot already? "Well.... The department store does offer an employee discount," she said slowly. "Alright -- I'll help you save a little bit of money and teach you how to use a sewing machine."
"Um, and it's only fair that if you want, you can use it, too," Asahina-san added, smiling brightly.
Sighing softly, unable to hide a smile, Haruhi groused, "I see.... Well, I suppose that's true. I might as well pick out some cloth myself. I can afford that, at least." She gave me an appraising glance, frowning in realization. "Oh ... but that means I won't be able to go visit Kyon's charming little sister...."
"It's for something important," I countered. "She'll understand."
Asahina-san set tea cups before her and Koizumi before claiming her own seat, still pleased with herself. I couldn't fault her in the slightest!
"What did Nozomu want to talk to you about anyway, Haruhi?" I wondered, sampling my mother's cooking.
"Ah, it-- Nothing important," Haruhi coughed, looking away, her cheeks red for some reason.
Well, I'd just take her word for that. I was sure if it was important, it would come up later, wouldn't it?
It was fortunate that Saturdays were only half-days at Hikami Gakuen. Even though work shifts were slightly longer on Saturdays, thanks to the shortened school hours, they ended earlier, and homework could be put off until the next day -- Sunday.
We technically had a small window between class and work that was longer than it took to ride the train to work; Koizumi told us to go ahead and that he'd take a later train, as he needed to discuss something with one of his teachers. Haruhi and I decided to loiter and stroll through the park nearer the train station to wait for him, and let the initial rush of departing students clear out before we braved boarding.
She heaved a sigh, looking up at a tree's branches as we walked beneath it. "Kyon?" she asked abruptly, looking at me sidelong.
"Hmm?"
"Ha...have you ever confessed to someone?" she asked. At my blank stare, she hurriedly glanced around to see no one was in earshot before hastily adding, "That-- That's what Nozomu-chan was asking me for advice about, you see...."
"Oh," I said in belated understanding. For a moment, I'd thought she'd somehow divined my dream, and meant to question me about the unfortunately imaginary confession there. She seemed anxious about it, but if there was one person I felt I could trust with this, it would be Haruhi.
"Yeah," I admitted, thinking back. "There was ... one person."
"Ah? Who?" she demanded, eyes sparking with some light I couldn't quite place.
I rubbed the back of my neck with one hand and had to look away, sorting my thoughts out. "Well.... In middle school, I offered my feelings to a girl I studied with, and ... it didn't work out." When I glanced back, I saw that Haruhi had gone pale, looking torn between anger and utter confusion.
"That is-- I should start from the beginning," I realized with a sigh. "Um.... We shared a class in middle school, but didn't become particularly close until near the end of our third year. We ended up both needing extra study sessions, but unable to afford a tutor or cram school; thanks to that, we spent a lot of time at the library.
"At first we were only study partners, but after only a few sessions we became friends. I thought she was remarkably perceptive, and she was able to help me get my miserable test scores high enough to hope for...." I trailed off there with a gesture, not particularly wanting to discuss Kitago at the moment.
"I-- I see!" Haruhi exclaimed, pursing her lips. "But why didn't she go with you...." The girl at my side trailed off curiously.
"I don't consider myself particularly brave, though," I allowed after a thoughtful pause. "When it was confirmed that we would both graduate, before we started testing for our new school, I offered to walk home with her afterwards. She didn't particularly seem to mind, so I became a bit hopeful. As we approached her house, I tried to subtly explain the history of my family. I couldn't ... imagine not being open about that, since it's still so problematic for some people."
"By 'some people' you clearly mean 'idiots'," Haruhi opined firmly, scowling. "And because of that--"
"No, no, not at all," I corrected hastily. "Ah ... when I explained it, her reaction was to remark that such history had no bearing on her, and she considered us good friends anyway."
"...oh," Haruhi mused softly. Shaking her head, she asked, "But why tell her, then?"
"If she couldn't accept that about me, would I want to be involved with such a person?" I asked.
Haruhi's eyebrows rose, and she uncrossed her arms; I hadn't even noticed her crossing them. "That makes sense," she allowed.
"When she seemed so positive about things, I ... managed the courage to confess my feelings to her," I mumbled, shifting my shoulders and looking away. "She was actually quite surprised. It took her a moment to compose herself, but she explained it to me that she hadn't been looking to be involved with anyone for some time. She was flattered, but she was planning on becoming a successful career woman. Even if my family history wasn't relevant to her, she wondered if we could handle the combined difficulties she expected her life would invite to interfere with mine."
"O...oh," Haruhi said after a quiet pause.
"And likewise, thinking about it ... it would be difficult enough for a woman to prove herself able to succeed in this world. How much harder would it be with ... my issues joined to hers? I stood to make things even more problematic than what she intended to face. I felt that if I pushed the issue, she would relent; she admitted that she did care for me, and if I insisted....
"But I am not particularly couragous. Certainly, I couldn't stand the idea of me ruining her chance at a more positive life, could I?"
I shrugged again, heaving one last great sigh. "In the end, we simply remained close friends. Thinking about things further, I decided I would follow her example and focus to the best of my abilities; I would put off pursuing, um, romance until after I completed college. Then, if I wanted to try and move to avoid the past, it would be much simpler...."
Though it was the same word, Haruhi's final, "Oh," was even more subdued. She followed it with a line I had regretted using myself: "I see...."
"Why don't we sit?" I asked, gesturing to an empty bench with a view of the train station. "If you're tired, you can rest or nap for a bit, and I'll wake you when Koizumi comes around."
"Yeah, okay," she agreed in a subdued voice. She looked exhausted, so slumped to the park bench when I stopped there. Her eyes closed as she leaned back, and I mulled over those thoughts. "Thanks," she added quietly.
How was my good friend? We hadn't spoken in too long. I hoped she was well ... that she somehow found someone as reliable and supportive as I had to help her out. Unlike Haruhi, I couldn't nap in the face of those memories, though. Instead, while we waited for Koizumi, I mulled them over.
Was that dream, maybe, my own mind telling me I should be more willing to move forward, and that I shouldn't need to wait until college? Especially after how far Haruhi had gone?
Haruhi ultimately did fall asleep, groggily waking and stumbling after me to board the train; since we had chosen a later one, she did get a chance to sleep again on the train. When she woke from the second part of her nap, and we walked toward our work, she rubbed at her eyes sleepily.
"You seem excitable," I remarked to Koizumi as we crossed the street. Contrasted to Haruhi, the observation was impossible to ignore.
"Despite having trouble sleeping last night, I found myself curiously refreshed this morning," he mused, spreading his arms in a shrug, the weight of his bag in one hand not unbalancing or slowing him. "But I also am looking forward to tomorrow!"
"Really?" I wondered. "Did we have something special planned I forgot about?"
"Nope," Haruhi said authoritatively, muffling a yawn. "Homework and hanging out, just like normal ... though I might also walk Mikuru-chan through some basic sewing instructions. I'm a bit excited about that, actually! It's been a while since I was able to use a machine -- I can start making fun costumes again! It's really just the cost of materials, and they're cheap, if you're willing to do the work!"
"Oh?" Koizumi wondered, one hand going to his chin thoughtfully. "Should Kyon-kun and I be gathering materials so that you can make costumes for us?"
"Eh-- No, I--" She paused, frowning as we crossed the street toward the building we worked in, the crowds moving around us. "Hmm, maybe," she allowed. "What costumes would you want?"
"That's a good question!" Koizumi replied, chuckling. "Kyon-kun and I will have to think about it while we work!"
Costumes, huh? "All I can think of right now is something to wear to festivals, but that would be for everyone," I offered, shrugging. I knew my mother, at least, would love to get a proper yukata for my sister.
"That's a good start, actually," Haruhi agreed, nodding. Shortly after that, we were through the door to the break room. After Koizumi and I clocked in and donned our gloves, Haruhi finished tying her smock into place. "Work hard!" she encouraged us.
Koizumi and I echoed the customary encouragement back to her, and we went through our separate doors. Haruhi to the store's main floor, and us to the warehouse and loading docks.
Boss Teuchi glanced over at the pair of us from the roll-up door to the loading dock, wearing his own worn tank-top and work-gloves. "Alright," he said, nodding in greeting. "Saturday, so not many trucks. Me and Kaiza will handle the unloading; I want you two to rotate the boxes in storage shelf one and two -- anything that's been there more than three weeks gets pulled off and put into the return pile."
"Got it, Boss," I replied, saluting tiredly, as Koizumi echoed me, already moving to the flat-bed cart.
Moving stock was my least favorite part of working, as it was less interesting and had fewer opportunities to idle and recover. Well, work was work; Haruhi would be even busier than us, thanks to it being the weekend!
"Did you have any interesting dreams last night?" I wondered as we reached the edge of the stack of boxes we had to move, more to spark conversation than from real curiosity.
He paused momentarily, putting on a thoughtful expression before grabbing the first of the boxes we had to move. "I don't remember anything specific," he said with a shrug. "I've read that we almost always dream, even if we don't remember it. I suppose I must have dreamed something."
"Can you be really sure?" I asked, alternating with him to load up the cart.
"Well," he said thoughtfully, "it may be an assumption -- but we make assumptions about many things in our life.
"Really, Chuang Tse asks if he might be a butterfly dreaming he is a man. The same could be true for us. Are we really here? Are we us?" He paused to shift some boxes, and I made no reply. He had sometimes nonsensical threads of thought, and absolutely seemed to adore philosophy. I wasn't the biggest fan, but didn't honestly mind listening.
"We assume we're real," he continued, "most of the time. We could be figments of someone else's dreams, for all we can tell. What if I -- for example -- were just a shadow in someone else's mind, and they'd had a good dream? I might have a positive feeling from them, thanks to that, despite not having memory of it!"
"But you remember other dreams from your life," I countered. "Don't you?"
"I think I do!" he said with a shrug, smiling.
I had to resist rolling my eyes at him good-naturedly. Grunting slightly at a heavier box, I shifted it over and added, "I get what you're saying about the assumptions, though."
"You're the historian," he prompted. "What do you think?"
"I think we need to be aware of our immediate surroundings, and deal with them accordingly," I answered. "If reality is a dream, we're not waking up from it -- and that means we need to move these boxes or we don't get a paycheck."
Koizumi chuckled at that as he moved to push the loaded cart over to where we would pull the boxes off and arrange for them to be returned. "That's a historical answer?" he asked.
"More a cultural thing," I said with a shrug, helping guide the cart while he pushed, so it didn't veer to one side. "I mean, philosophy is an aspect of culture that wasn't able to emerge until after man had evolved to the point where they were no longer living hand-to-mouth, and had progressed beyond the hunter-gatherer stage."
When we reached the sorting area, Boss Teuchi gave us a blank look, then glanced over his shoulder to where Kaiza was maneuvering another cart into position, mouthing the words, "Butterfly dreams?"
Kaiza shook his head and shrugged, as if to say, "What can you do?"
So Koizumi and I were an oddball pair that talked about probably nonsensical things. I didn't mind, though; the pair of them judged us part-timers on our ability to do our jobs, not our interests -- and at the end of the day, that was a net positive.
"Of course," Koizumi mused, "we are making the assumption again that such a thing happened."
"I'm okay with-- Oof--" I paused until Koizumi could help me with a particularly heavy box. Once it was in place, I restarted, "I'm okay with that, though; we may never really be able to answer the questions that Descartes or Socrates pose, but if we can some day unravel the questions asked by Darwin, that will satisfy me."
"Some mysteries may be easier to solve than others!" Koizumi agreed.
Sighing, Teuchi chuckled, "Once you two start taking college classes, I think my head will simply explode trying to follow your conversations."
"Sorry!" Koizumi chuckled, while I ducked my head.
Kaiza snorted and rolled his eyes. "Nah, you guys got a good future ahead of you; nothing to apologize for, as long as you keep up the good work," he supplied. "Though, maybe some day, I can talk you into tutoring my kid?"
"What subject?" I wondered, as the cart was emptied and we prepared for the next load.
"History," Kaiza said, grinning. "That's your specialty, right?"
"Probably the only thing I might be remotely qualified to help out with," I agreed wryly. "Anything else, I'm sure Koizumi-kun's got me beat on."
"Ah, I'm nothing compared to Suzumiya-san," Koizumi demurred cheerfully.
"Well, if you're up for it, we should talk about it some time next week -- kid's going to get summer school for sure, and if you could help him keep up, I'd really appreciate it!"
"That sounds fine to me," I allowed.
When Teuchi stepped out onto the dock, Kaiza winked and added, in a quieter voice, "We look out for one-another, right?"
"Eh?" I wondered, while Koizumi studiously examined the label of the next box.
Kaiza clarified, though quietly, "I went to school with your father, I think. Tadamichi Yuuto?"
I could only nod in surprise at that, but Kaiza only relaxed at the confirmation, grinning more widely. "Well -- if you can help, I'd be grateful. Can't afford a lot, but...."
"I'd be happy to help," I said honestly. "Everyone deserves a chance, right?"
"I'll need some help with this box right now!" Koizumi interjected apologetically, just before boss Teuchi stepped back in.
Well, that -- more than anything -- was a reminder that even if my job weren't glamorous, it was one I didn't mind. Some day, if I managed to finish college, I would want to reach higher, but for the time being....
After a grueling day of work, Koizumi, Haruhi, and myself stepped out, Haruhi looking especially tired, but pleased with herself. "Alright," she said, putting her hands on her hips and nodding decisively. "Mikuru-chan should meet me out front, and then ... well, apologize to your mother and sister for me, Kyon!"
"They'll understand, Haruhi," I assured her, smirking. "I hope you have fun."
"Will you need help carrying anything?" Koizumi wondered.
"Ah, I'm fine," Haruhi insisted, waving a hand. "You've worked hard enough already! Anyway, I'll see you both tomorrow -- don't forget, or it's a penalty!"
Of course.... "Take care then, Haruhi," I called, as she nodded at us and strode around the building.
"Well," Koizumi remarked, looking at his watch thoughtfully, "I think I'll pick something up and surprise my family on the way home-- You take care as well, Kyon-kun."
"You, too," I replied, before stretching my arms over my head. Ah, I'd gotten spoiled with Haruhi's company on the way home after work, hadn't I? Too bad! I'd see her tomorrow anyway, and....
I sighed to myself. I had to admit, especially after that dream, that I liked Haruhi. I was still just at a complete loss as to what I should do about it. I wandered slowly toward the train station, not really paying attention to my surroundings as I thought about the possibilities. What could I do? What would Haruhi accept?
I couldn't put too much stock in a dream, no matter how real it felt; much of that, as Koizumi had unintentionally suggested, was based on assumptions, not truths. I knew Haruhi had to have some feelings for me, but was it worth the risk of ruining our friendship? Was there anything wrong with just biding my time?
Or was I being a coward?
Before I reached the station, or reached anything approaching a satisfying answer to that question, a voice roused me-- "Hey-- Hey! Are you-- Are you called 'Kyon'?"
I nearly walked into a light-post in surprise-- A salary-man in a nice looking sedan was leaning toward me from his seat in the car. I couldn't really say he looked familiar, so could only stare in bafflement. He was heavyset, and looked as tired as I felt, and ... somehow, both defeated and determined.
"I-- I am," I admitted, stopping in my tracks and frowning. He didn't look like a detective ... or at least not my image of one. Aside from which, even if he was, set out to expose my not-very-secret ancestry, the people I most cared about already knew and didn't care. "What's this about?"
Taking a breath, he glanced around; a few people had noticed him and were giving the pair of us curious looks. "I'd like to speak with you," he explained. "Uh ... I'll give you a ride home in exchange for some of your time?"
...well, I wasn't afraid of being kidnapped, exactly. There were witnesses around anyway, and as tired as my feet were.... It occurred to me he might be a lawyer, possibly even from the Burakumin Liberation League. Even though my uncle warned me not to deal with them if I could help it, he had also taught me how to guard my tongue, and I could use a ride home.
"Sure," I agreed. I wasn't about to mention the League when other people passing by could hear it; even if I was fine with some people knowing, there was no reason to advertise it. He sighed in relief as I climbed in, closing the door behind me. I gave directions to get us headed toward the district where I lived, and he nodded, pulling into traffic and smoothly moving along.
He said nothing for most of the drive, just looking intent, and as though he were trying to muster his determination.
What was that about?
Even if I did appreciate the ride ... just in case, I directed him to a park near my home, instead of giving him my address. He seemed to not mind at all, and pulled into the parking lot, sighing and turning the car's engine off. Since I could leave at any time, I wasn't worried, though I was a bit confused.
"You-- You know Haruhi-chan?" he posed, turning to regard me, his face cast slightly orange in the setting sun.
"Yeah," I admitted, frowning, surprised by his familiarity with her. "What's this about, anyway?"
He took an unsteady breath, and couldn't meet my eyes when he blurted out, "Aki-- Aki-chan means well, but she's just got ... some pride issues, you know? I love her dearly, but I care about Haruhi-chan too!"
I blinked in astonishment. Who was this? How did he know Haruhi?
"What kind of man would I be if I didn't want the best for my family?" he continued, forcibly unclenching his hands from the steering wheel and reaching beneath his coat. His grip was shaking as he pulled an envelope out. "I want ... to do the best for them, so -- please, take this. I know ... if you care about Haruhi-chan, you'll do the right thing."
It wasn't until I accepted the envelope in confusion and opened it up that I realized what it was -- who this person was. The amount of money inside the envelope was more than I made in a week -- possibly more than my father made in a week! I was staggered. I worked hard for the money I made, but this....
And then it clicked that this was Haruhi's father. I turned to stare at his nervous expression.
I was not a person who got angry easily, or very often. If it might be prideful to say, I consider myself fairly calm. But in this instance, even though I did get angry, I was grateful, too, because my feelings told me how I truly thought about Haruhi in a single heartbeat. That dream was enough to understand, but I supposed I was the type of person who could benefit from additional reminders, wasn't I?
I wanted to be with Haruhi -- I wanted to be worthy of Haruhi. After what she'd done and sacrificed, even if she did miss her parents ... to throw away what she'd worked so hard for, what she'd risked ... and accept a bribe to step out of her life? I wrenched the door open and practically leaped out of the car.
My teeth were gritted together, and I didn't shout, by my voice certainly rose as I said, "Listen, you!" very rudely. "If you think I'm going to try and cheapen Haruhi's choice, you're dead wrong! So you can take this money and burn it for all I care!" With that, I flung the envelope at him.
Of course, it was an envelope, and it tumbled harmlessly into the empty seat at his side-- Instead of looking angry, or like a thwarted villain, that man -- Haruhi's father -- looked crushed, on the verge of tears.
"No!" he cried anxiously. "Wait-- I didn't-- I didn't mean that!"
I froze before turning about in an angry huff and storming home. As angry as the idea made me ... he was Haruhi's father. And she was someone I cared enough about to listen to him on her behalf. "What did you mean, then?" I asked cautiously.
"We-- Let's start over," he said anxiously, grabbing the envelope and getting out of the car. "I'll--" He broke off as he spotted a vending machine and nodded at it. "I'll buy you a drink, and we can discuss this reasonably!"
Even if my feelings had suddenly crystallized, I felt I had to give him the benefit of the doubt, so I nodded grudgingly as he closed the car doors and went to the vending machine, hands trembling. "I'm an idiot," he said softly, managing to put enough coins into the machine to get two cans of Karupisu Soda. He handed one to me and motioned encouragingly for me to drink.
Grudgingly, I took the cue and carefully pulled the tab off, sipping the unfamiliar beverage. I would have preferred a glass of milk, but that didn't come in vending machines, and this was a treat for me in any case.
"I didn't say that right," he sighed, rubbing his forehead. "I didn't ... want to bribe you to leave my daughter alone."
"What did you want to just -- to just give me money for, then?" I asked cautiously.
He barked a short, bitter laugh out. "Haruhi-chan is like her mother," he explained hesitantly. "You-- Well, you have to know Haruhi-chan by now! Neither of them would be willing to back down.... I'm glad ... that you care strongly enough to say what you did, though. If you ... were to accept a bribe like that, my daughter would not be willing to crawl back and beg for her mother's forgiveness anyway. Such a thing would only ... make her life more difficult."
"I'm sorry," I said contritely, my anger giving way completely to guilt.
"I'm not," he said, his nervousness fading as he offered a weak grin. "Like.... Like I said! You're willing to stand next to her, and defend her choices. I'm ... glad for her that it's the case. I didn't ... mean to test your loyalty to her, though I am happy to see it!" He sighed and raked a hand through his thinning hair.
"My daughter, like her mother, is strong-willed. Those two ... have clashed in the past," he said slowly. "Um, I want what's best for both of them, even if I can't ... oppose Aki-chan directly. I can't change Haruhi-chan's mind, either. But I care about both -- you understand, don't you?"
I nodded at his sidelong glance, sipping from the drink he'd given me again.
"So.... Some day, Aki-chan will come around. She ... is a bit old fashioned," he added with a wince. "I think if she were to meet you.... Well, it's her pride, and Haruhi-chan's, that's the real issue. But ... I think if she's given enough time, and Haruhi-chan can make it on her own, Aki-chan will have to realize that she must respect our daughter's choices."
I thought about the indirect way that Asahina-san had to arrange for Haruhi to get a sewing machine. I could understand what he meant about pride! It was a bit humbling that it was really my fault that such an issue had come up; no matter how I might want to deny it, it was Haruhi's pride in accepting ... me that caused this divide.
On the other hand.... "But your wife would still have issues with me?" I asked hesitantly.
Haruhi's father sighed glumly. "That ... she'll come around on, too," he mumbled. "Honestly, it's admitting that Haruhi-chan can make her own choices that's the bigger problem."
We were silent for a long minute at that, as Haruhi's father sighed, finishing his drink. At that moment ... I could only feel sympathy for him. At least ... he didn't seem to judge me, and I couldn't even find it in me to resent Haruhi's mother.
Placing the empty can carefully in a rubbish bin, he continued, "A...anyway.... I know how Haruhi is, and I've ... spent a little time trying to track you down -- but you're always with her, so I could hardly approach you without being obvious about it and letting her know."
"Why not?" I wondered. "I think ... Haruhi would be happy to talk to you, wouldn't she?"
He winced. "But she wouldn't be happy that I couldn't stand up to Aki-chan," he said quietly. "Maybe ... no, there's no question about it. I'm just weak. But ... I can work with you -- you can support Haruhi-chan, and I can ... slowly encourage Aki-chan ... and some day, they can reconcile. I have to believe that!"
I wanted to believe that, too, even if I wanted it to be sooner than later. "When, do you think?" I asked cautiously.
He hesitated, eyes going to the empty sky as he considered. "Before you two graduate college, at least," he said carefully. "But ... hopefully sooner than that."
"I can't promise to hide ... well ... anything from Haruhi," I warned him. "I trust her, and I think it's true that she trusts me, too -- so I don't want to lie to her."
"I'm glad for her for that," he admitted. "But even so ... some time to let both of them calm down first.... Well." He shook his head. "I do want to help her, though -- but since I don't think I can, I'll settle for helping you help her. That's ... what the money was for. It ... must be hard...." He trailed off and shrugged.
"I appreciate the sentiment, but even that would be tricky," I warned him.
"If she spends time with you and your family, I'm certain you'll find a way," he said insistently. "But if it can help make sure my daughter's healthy and happy, then I'd be happy to give what I can." He produced the envelope again, offering it toward me.
"I don't know if I can accept that," I said slowly.
"You can," he insisted anxiously. "I have to help her in some way. Just ... use it to pay for a date, maybe offer to buy her something nice -- you work, and if you care for her, I know you'd be willing to do that for her if you had the means, right?"
"I.... If she really digs and asks where the money came from, I won't lie to her," I warned him.
He faltered briefly, but then nodded his understanding. "I may be too weak to face her myself, but maybe if you can let her know that I -- and Aki-chan, even if she won't admit it yet -- do still care, then maybe that's for the best," he agreed.
And even though I wasn't convinced, I accepted the envelope -- a bit surprised when the man grabbed my hand firmly, giving it a strong, Western-style shake. "I'm trusting you to take care of my daughter, because I can't," he warned, smiling wanly.
I nodded, and he released my hand, looking even more exhausted -- but at least faintly relieved.
"Maybe," I started hesitantly, when he took a few steps away. Clearing my throat, I told him, "Maybe you should give me your phone number. Once in a while ... maybe I can call you to let you know how she's doing."
He fumbled through his pockets and produced a business card eagerly. "Yes-- Absolutely," he agreed. "And ... while it might be a lot to hope for, maybe if she's willing to talk to her mother some day...." He trailed off and nodded. Coughing, he gave me one last smile, adding, "Though ... being entirely honest, Aki-chan would be furious if she became a grandmother before she could reconcile with her daughter."
"I-- Uh.... Thank you, Suzumiya-san," I managed, a bit shakily.
He paused, staring up at the night sky momentarily, then offered me a warm smile. "You can call me Akira, Son," he insisted. "If my daughter doesn't mind you calling her by name, then neither do I."
Leaving me with that thought -- as stunned as if I'd been struck upside the head with a brick -- the full weight of what, 'Take care of my daughter,' meant settled in.
I stared at the envelope dumbly as I mulled it over. A date? That was what I wanted, but wasn't certain about. An offhand comment like that....
...but I was being stupid, wasn't I? Haruhi had already made great sacrifices to be with me, and was standing by her choice. I'd support her, for certain. Hey! Even if her father hadn't told me that, shouldn't I have been stepping up to that challenge? What was the point in whining that I owed her and then doing nothing?
He may have been right that Haruhi does have a certain amount of pride, but she wasn't stupid by any means -- and she understood more than probably I ever would.
After her father left, I found myself wandering about town aimlessly, still trying to sort things out. He had saved me some time, but I wasn't quite ready to go home and explain why Haruhi was too busy to my family. I had a lot to mull over, and it was after the time that a train would have taken me home when I stopped, realizing I had walked all the way to the downtown district nearest home.
A long line of people waited to get into a nearby movie theater. I had only ever been to a theater once, and that long ago ... but Haruhi's family had gone often. Did she miss it? Wasn't it something she had enjoyed?
I craned my neck to look at the board displaying the name of the movie everyone seemed so eager to see; the characters there hadn't been updated since more than a week prior, announcing the release of a movie that had opened on the thirtieth of the last month.
Well ... there was an idea, wasn't there?
I was both nervous and excited for the next day, as Koizumi and I met at the train station on the way to Nagato's place. I had anticipated my sister's tantrum over not getting to see her, "Haru-nee," due to the sewing machine project, and so she was tagging along with me, excited to be visiting my friends.
If Koizumi was surprised that I brought my sister along, he didn't show it. Since we were going to be doing homework, she had brought hers, as well -- and even though I doubted Haruhi would complain, she brought her own contribution to the pot-luck. My mother had declared that the minor expense of a package of anpan from the market on the way to the train station was a worthwhile expense, especially when I'd outlined my plan for the later evening.
I wanted my sister to be surrounded by friends who would accept her -- like I had been lucky enough to find myself. While things were still going well for her at school, I didn't think it would hurt at all if she were to get along with the friends I was proud of making, would it?
Naturally, despite -- or perhaps because of -- her clumsy and tactless questions about Nagato and Asahina-san being wealthy heiresses, they both accepted her as easily as Haruhi, brushing aside my ... not entirely sincere apologies for bringing her along.
The anpan may have helped with that.
But in a sense, my sister was a distraction ploy -- and while she engaged her new 'nee-chans,' I managed to corner Haruhi in the kitchen. Her ability to handle multiple dishes at once was impressive, but she only glanced at me and listed things she needed handed to her once she realized I was in the room.
"Haruhi," I posed, handing the bottle of soy sauce over to her. "Are you busy tonight?"
She started, almost spilling too much in and gave me a curious, uncertain look. "What did you have in mind?" she asked cautiously.
"Eh -- even though my little sister's here right now, would you like to have dinner with my family? That is.... My mother missed you last night as well, and ... you know how Imouto is when she doesn't get to see you," I offered.
"Oh, is that all?" she asked with a smirk, handing the bottle back to me. "Um, mirin and ginger -- cabinet to the left of the stove."
I retrieved the requested ingredients and waited until she was done pouring before adding, "There's also something I'd like to show you tonight ... if you're willing."
"What's that?" she asked, frowning. "Why are you being so evasive, anyway?"
"Ah, well, it would be just us -- and my sister," I explained. "It's ... not much, but I remember your wish to see something amazing?"
"You've found something?" she asked, staring at me in surprise.
"Eh, maybe it's nothing, really, but I believe it's something my sister would love, and I thought...." I trailed off there.
Haruhi relaxed, smiling brightly. "Well, okay -- she's really adorable, so I don't have any problems with it ... but your parents won't mind?"
I rolled my eyes, grabbing the cabbage when she asked for it. "Haruhi, if she thought she'd get away with it, and Asahina-san and Nagato didn't need you, my mom would move you into Imouto's room as it is," I chided her gently.
She snorted at me, even as her face flushed. "Set-- Set the table," she instructed, turning away. "It'll be ready in a minute!"
I nodded, thinking more about the later plans than the fun we were already having.
Of course, my sister didn't actually know about the plan either, though that was how I wanted it. When we finished dinner with my family I led the pair of them for a walk.
"What are we going to do?" my sister asked.
"It's a surprise," I announced.
Haruhi pursed her lips, staring at me suspiciously. "You think you're so clever," she groused, though she couldn't help but smile anyway. "I don't know what he has planned, either, Imouto, but if he's got a smile like that, it must be something good!"
"Are we going to the zoo?" my sister asked excitedly. "Oh-- Or Miyokichi's?"
"You'll see," I told them.
My sister's legs got tired, especially after all the walking to Nagato's place, so I had her climb on my back -- her weight was nothing compared to the boxes at work, after all. When we rounded a corner and reached the end of the line waiting to get into the theater, Haruhi started, almost walking past me when I stopped. "What are we doing here?" she asked, frowning, her hands on her hips.
"We're taking my sister to see a movie," I answered, unable to keep from grinning. "I picked up the tickets last night-- I'd been saving up for a while, after all!" And that part was entirely true, even if Haruhi's ticket was paid for by her father -- technically.
Haruhi's mouth fell open a short distance and she turned to stare at the same board I had previously. "What-- I-- Oh!"
"Ah?" my sister asked in surprise. "I can't read that title!" Pointing at the board she declared, "That's 'Star', but what's the rest?"
"'Star Wars'?" Haruhi asked, eyes wide. "I've-- I've read about this in magazines! It was huge in America! Kyon-- How did-- You--"
She cut off, as my sister wriggled, and I crouched to let her stand on her own -- hopping in excitement. "We're going to see a movie!?" she practically exploded, the eagerness on her face a mirror for Haruhi's. "Wow!"
"Well ... it's not quite the same as getting to time travel, befriend an esper, or actually go to an alien world ... but unless Asahina-san's already learned everything you have to teach her, you just might win that contest, Haruhi," I said, shrugging.
Haruhi playfully punched my shoulder, though there wasn't any force in it. "You tricked me into agreeing to see this!" she protested, eyes shining.
"Yeah, I guess I'm a terrible person," I agreed. "Good thing you're here to protect my sister from my horrible influence."
"A...anyway," Haruhi added in a subdued voice, her cheeks red. "I think Yuki is going to be the real winner...."
She might have been right, but I thought that if Nagato won, we all did -- so that would be fine, too, wouldn't it?
Seeing a movie was more of an experience than I had recalled, but I think the company was what made it memorable more than anything else. I could have tried to make it a proper date, but there was no reason to rush ... and even though she could sometimes be annoying, I really didn't mind my sister getting a treat like that, too.
Since there wasn't any rush, I wanted to do my best to do things right, after all!
And ... maybe, just a little bit, my little sister made a convenient excuse to help keep me from worrying that Haruhi only liked me as a friend. Dreams aside, if there was one person I didn't want to face rejection from....
Imouto fell asleep during the ending credits, so I ended up carrying her home. Once we got there, my mother whisked her to bed, and my father and I gave Haruhi the usual ride home.
Well ... Haruhi had been busy for the last few days, and fell asleep in the car, despite her excitement. She'd pushed herself to try and help Asahina-san, hadn't she? Knowing her, she would do that....
If she had friends to look out for her, that seemed fine, though, so I managed to pick her up without waking her-- Asahina-san must have heard the car pull up, because she opened the door as I got there, gasping quietly, eyes twinkling as she saw us.
Touching a fingertips to her lips with a wink, she gestured me inside. I followed dutifully, seeing that Nagato and Asahina-san had been watching the television; I only caught a title reading, 'Uchu kara no Messeji: Ginga Taisen'.
Too bad Haruhi was asleep! It sounded like the sort of thing she'd be interested in. Asahina-san and Nagato both ignored the show; the older girl led the way after I kicked my shoes off, and Nagato efficiently set up Haruhi's futon and bedding.
After I managed to set her down, still without waking her, I couldn't help but notice a small, cheap picture frame sitting next to Haruhi's alarm clock.
It held a picture from an instant camera, and my mouth dropped open slightly in shock, mirroring the expression of the person there. I did remember fumbling with her parents' camera and once accidentally taking a picture of myself, but I hadn't realized she'd kept it, and....
...well, maybe I was stupid for worrying so much about certain things.
Asahina-san's eyes widened as she saw where my gaze went, and she waved her hands frantically, shooing me out of the room as her face turned red. I managed not to chuckle as Nagato removed Haruhi's shoes and pulled her blanket into place.
Yeah, as long as we remained friends, I couldn't help but think that things were going to turn out alright after all.
Author's notes: I think this may be ... a bit wordy, to say the least, and it's all largely pointless WAFF -- but I hope it's enjoyable anyway. Thanks go to Sarsaparilla for her commentary on the initial draft, and the Soulriders crew for their comments on later drafts. In the meantime -- happy Tanabata!