I'm so inconsistant about updating. Oh well.

Aaaanyway.

It's late, and I'm up with insomnia. I finally figure out specifically what caused it, I think, but first to backtrack.

Work's boring, nothing especially out of the ordinary, so that's good.

On Saturday I went Geocaching with Bernard and Julie, which was great fun.

Now.

I'm struggling to deal with a fundamental disconnect in interpeting something with someone else. That sounded rather vague.... Essentially, someone who I want very much to consider a friend and I differ on ... well ... many points. The reason I say 'want to consider a friend' instead of 'actually consider a friend' is that the gap in interpetation is so vast that I have to either doubt the subject matter, myself, or ... the other person. I've tried both of the former, but too many people assure me it's neither.

So what it all boils down to (irregardless of right or wrong, which don't actually apply in this instance, since it's a matter of opinion) is the realization that I considered someone a friend, but now realize I was wrong to do so. Not because we disagree, but because I don't understand this person as well as I thought I did.

This has been eating away at me for months. I thought there was something wrong with me, and it turns out it's my subconscious telling me, "Don't call someone that you don't actually know a friend," and I realized ... if this kind of fundamental disconnect can occur, then this person is someone I should know better before casually applying labels like that.

By setting aside past impressions and realizing that the image of this person I'd built up was not the truth, I can safely cast aside everything I had considered and try approaching the situation anew. Make fresh observations and ... I guess ... don't think I can know someone as easily as I thought I did.

Hah! An epiphany! I can sleep again!

Now. Circumstances dictate that I will want to wait before bothering to establish this hopeful actual genuine frienship, due to an ongoing project. But knowing where I stand allows me to stop doubting myself and this friend potentate.

Ah. Once again I approach inner harmony. Not feeling that I should be obligated to respect someone who I can't (yet; I don't know this person well enough yet) makes this much easier. And now I can start over and.... Well, no. But probably very soon. Within months, I'm sure.

Excellent.

And no, it has nothing to do with Bernard and the Geocaching; that was actually a pleasant distraction. :)