I hate my life.

I'm supposed to start school on Monday, but I know I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail because I'm staying up until between 4 and 8 AM every damned day.

Why do I do it?

Because I'm sleeping in a friend's living room. And he likes to play video games on his computer all the time.

I realize that this is charity, and I shouldn't be upset -- being homeless otherwise.

But I need certain things to live, and since I don't have my own room, I'm going to have to get some goddamned way to get the fucking privelage to sleep at reasonable hours, or for at least more than three or four a single goddamned fucking day. I HATE THIS!

Why does Peter tell me I can say when I want to go to sleep if he continually ignores my reminders about some of us having school and trying to get reasonable schedules? Why does he invite people over SPECIFICALLY TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES AFTER ONE AM?

Oh, fuck it.

Who am I kidding? I'm overstepping my welcome here and he's just trying to be subtle.

So ... I'm going to guess that I'm pretty much going to vanish off the internet for a good long while again. I'm looking into homeless shelters and programs for no-income students -- that kind of thing. Fuck.

I miss sleep!

Kristen died in October. She ODed on Methadone.

I just found out today. Janna, Kristen's mother, only just recently managed to tell my mother. Kristen is survived by her daughter Brenna, who is 7 months old now.

Kristen was a childhood friend.

Damnit.

I'm back.

But first, to explain where I went? I guess I kind of began to shut down variously on different levels when Sterling passed away. It was a difficult point in my life, and one which was quickly followed by many others, not that it hadn't also been preceeded by a handful of difficulties.

So. In the interrum, I have lost my job with Sony (I don't regret it, though -- the commute was atrocious). I have yet to get my first unemployment check (which will also be my confirmation that I was approved -- no paperwork letting me know otherwise has arrived yet). My old apartment complex has decided that I owe them for a month I didn't stay there, and for about 500$ in repairs aside.

Bitches.

I've got no money and a lot of angry collectors at me ... I'm couchsurfing right now, and am registered for college (Mission -- Santa Clara. Decent community college, nothing spectacular, but I like it and it's close), and have chosen a major. English, tending towards investigative journalism, and maybe (it's a few more credits) mythology. My electives will all be classes on networking and probably any *nix courses they offer.

So I've finally got a plan, and am willing to stick it through. I just hope I didn't wait too long.

Anyway. Anyone who's e-mailed me since March of '05? I'm sorry -- I'm starting to catch up. I want a clean inbox by Sunday, and then I'll try and put together a few more pieces of my life.

At least my muse is still strong. New year, new hope!

King of Portable devices.

I have an iPod, a Gameboy Advanced SP, my laptop, and a cell-phone. All of them get plugged in at night and join me on my commute. It's what keeps me sane:

Upon leaving the house, the outside world is denied with the power of the iPod. Once I finish my walk to the train station, I battle vampires, aliens, ghosts, or generic monsters on the GBA(SP), with or without iPod and adjoining background music depending on mood. On the train, I may or may not still retain the iPod (usually I do), and fire up ye olde laptop, either to reply to C&C; I've saved off the Refuge, or to generate more trash which will in turn generate more C&C. Once I get to the other train station I can either use the laptop (which will run out of battery before the shuttle arrives), or go back to the GBA, still using the iPod. On the shuttle, I typically read for 10-20 minutes before reaching Metro Tower. Ariving between 30 and 20 minutes early (my only alternative to arriving 5 minutes late), I go to the Slaveway and use the Sammich Scam to get my lunch.

The Sammich Scam is this nice trick you can pull with Slaveways, and they seem not to mind. First, you need a club card (preferably your own; you can get such things largely anonymously, and I have. The address/phone info on the card is optional, not required, and the card is free). Then, you go to the deli and order a sammich. Every seven sammiches nets you a free sammich. Mmm. Sammich. Anyway, the scam is this ... when you get the reciept that says, "x/7 for your nth free sammich", and it says "7/7"? That means the next time you order, you order a large sammich. It's only a sammich, but it's twice the size, and therefore, twice the price.

Except, this is your free sammich, so now you've gotten two free sammiches instead of just the one. Save one till the next day, lather, rinse, repeat~!

At lunch, I'll whip out ye olde laptop and sit on the 20th floor observation lounge listening to ESPN (which one of the other guys is always watching) and either whip out 1d3 pages of fic, or 1d3+2 pages of reply to C&C.;

Work ends, but the shuttle has stopped running when that happens so I walk back the 2.5-3 miles to the station (I gets me good exercise!) with ye olde iPod. Then I will (if the mood strikes me, and I want to run out of battery on the train) use the laptop or GBA(SP), since it's too dark to read (backlit, yo!). On the train, I use the lappy until I get back to Sunnyvale, unless I run out of battery again, in which case I read or GBA(SP).

Then, me an iPod walk home.

Mostly, I try to ignore the phone unless I need to know what time it is.

But that's a lot of portable devicery. Am I chained down by all my toys? I should bust my Visor out some day....

My commute is killer, but I've managed to conquer it by dividing it into phases (usually waiting or public transit blocks). These phases are filled with: a.) Books, b.) Laptop (I can write on the go! YAY!), c.) GBA (sometimes I don't want to think). So I have been writing more regularly, but, I think, not as much. Today, for the first time since losing my old place, I wrote nothing on the train at all.

Had the opportunity to, just didn't feel like it. I skimmed through chapter 12 of ALtMHF and considered how to revise as per KP's C&C;, but just felt too tired to actually impliment it beyond a few notes on what to do once I got around to it. Gonna be a bit tricky, since I'm too lazy to want to rewrite the scene, but I do need to make those changes.

And then update chapter 13 to bring it in line with the revisions.

I'm GMing on Sunday, but my mom wants me to go to a career fair ... bleah. Hopefully I can make it without blowing off my players. :/

Tired ... so thankful it's Friday. -_-

Ah, got billed for moving out of my apartment. Bastards want 1.5k. Well, they'll get what I have, which is (Oh so surprisingly!) substantially less.

Bleah. At least things seem to be improving. Gotta get back into the writing groove, either tonight or tomorrow morning. Talked to Bob too long last night....