Right. So as of today I'm going to try to make a point of updating every day. Also, I really need to put more work into the site Drac gave me ... a redesign may be in order. I don't like the layout I originally went with....

Anyway. I'm really tired of the sleeping situation around here, but there's not much I can do. Except drop out of school and go to work full-time, which is what I will actually end up doing. If I can't sleep here, then I need enough money to get my own place; it's just not feasible to go on like this.

Bleah!

More cheerful thoughts: I should be able to get credit for the Unix class. I'm really only dropping one, and that's keyboarding (I can live without it). My Comm class is at night, and it's one night a week, so I should be able to keep that. And I already finished my HTML/XTML class (with an A!), so that's good.

But damn. I miss sleeping regularly. It takes an insomniac to really value sleep, but I've gone a step further, thanks to the miracle of sleep- deprivation. Positive thinking, right?

The world's what you make of it, they say.....

It's six AM. I'm still awake.

Life has discovered a new low: Not being able to sleep because the people who run the place you're staying would rather play softcore porn.

I hate my life. I want to go home!

I hate being made to stay up late. I hate not being able to use my own computer because someone else's can't run Neverwinter Nights as well.

But after waiting for four goddamned hours to use it, having someone else give access to my system to someone I did NOT say could use it?

I'm pissed. Now it's 1:00 AM, someone who I never said it was okay to touch my system is using it to play a game on my system ... yeah. Glad I've got my laptop, but it can't handle my homework, and none of my files are on it.

Attention world: I am an asshole.

So, when I was sixteen years old, I remember being kicked out.

But this did not apparently happen. My mom says I made a choice to be kicked out. I honestly don't recall this, but it's most likely this the truth. I do know there was a deal going on after I dropped out of highschool where I had to either work, or go to school. Trouble is, I remember having a job and going to school.

I'm not sure. I honestly just can't trust my memory anymore. I thought things happened that didn't, and apparently ... I was just a miserable failure as a kid. I can accept that, even if I can't remember it.

Fuck it. I can OWN it. I can rise above it and overcome it.

My mother may never speak to me again, but that's just another reason to try and become a better person anyway.

But man.

This kinda hurts.

Goddamn.

Again.

I have class in HOURS. I am still not allowed to go to sleep. I comment at 1:00 AM, "So, Peter, are you worried about your classes at all? What time are you going in in the morning? My first class is at 9:00, so I want to be up at 7:00."

But....

Peter and Friend do not stop playing their game.

I tried being a bit more overt, and at around 2:00 AM it was agreed that Ryan and Peter would wind down their gaming. It's now 3:30 AM.

I am still waiting. Because they LEFT. And then came BACK. To EAT.

I think murder may be justified if this keeps up.