I got my computer working. However, last night, while installing HL2, my primary (boot) disk crashed, and lost all data.

Then my system wouldn't power up before. A fault had been suspected, so I dissasembled the entire system, and then reassembled.

On a side note, my new case was bought because it was aluminum, but came with some features it did not need. Like super-bright LEDs on the front of the case.

This turned out to come in handy. As I was reconnecting the power to the CD- RW, the case LEDs lost power (and the CD-RW wouldn't get it). This specific power plug had one of those funny 2-inch extensions/splitters that also powers the fan on my video card. The pin that the video card's cooling fan drew from had gotten so loose, it was pushed out the back of the plastic housing.

I realized that this had previously been the cord providing power to the boot drive originally.

Damnit.

Anyway. After a few hours of installing various crap, it's up and running again.

I hope. Tonight will tell us for certain.

I'm at work right now.

Work's going good.

The only real problem is the fact that I can't connect from home.

Because my ISP is doing less than stellar at the moment. They charged me to move my account over from my old apartment to my new one, but they didn't ACTUALLY move it. And they signed me up for a one-year-lease, which I didn't ask for.

Damnit.

Will try and straighten them out today.

Movaging!

I have a new place. I move in on Thursday. Ironically, it's quite likely that my first update to my blog there will be entry number 100.

I've never had a place of my own before. Setting up utilities are annoying, but it's good to have things done. So I've got phone, and electricity. Gas is taking a bit longer, since PG&E has a wait time of something like an hour and twenty minutes (Jebus!). But now ... I must undertake the most unfortunate of projects.

Having my DSL service taken down so I can transfer it. Which means I'll be without a net connection. And can focus on filling my room with easily transportable boxes. Mmm. Boxes.

Well, I'm looking forward to the new place, so ... happy day! And all of you need to tell Wally how cool he is, because without him loaning me some cash (for ... one ... day ... damn you, need for cashier's checks!) I wouldn't be able to get the place. :D

It came back again tonight.

The old rage, and urge to rush to violence. As per usual (with only rare exception), I didn't want to hurt people, outside of myself.

I don't really know where this destructive desire comes from.

But I know that letting myself get upset doesn't help it. Now my knuckles hurt, and nothing's changed. I should consider myself lucky I didn't cause any damage.

Why do I post about crappy things? Why do I go on about bad things in my life?

It just makes everyone thing my life is way suckier than it actually is. And when I look back at the website, I just think, "Man. My life used to be really lame."

And that's not the case.

I need to remember the positives more.

So:

Starfarers is not yet dead.

I've got the idea for my next SR game already halfway finished.

I've got one or two sessions left in my Apocylpse!!! campaign.

I was approved for the new apartment (I move in on Thursday).

My friends are really awesome.

I like to think that I'm relatively smart.

I don't know if this is true, but I like to think it.

I have a pretty good understanding of what motivates people to do things, I can usually look at things I'd never really want to do and understand why someone else might.

But for the life of me, I will never understand what makes people think that tactical/strategy games are fun.

I liked Starcraft, but then, that game was beatable. It's like every developer looked at Starcraft, and then said, "Well, we'll do that. Only, we'll make it harder."

Warcraft III was just insane on some of the missions, and they made if complicated enough that the casual gamer isn't intimidated -- he's catatonic.

I tried playing C&C;: Generals. I got to mission seven before finding out that I could, in fact, fold a double-CD case (with both CDs in it!) in half, twice. I guess that means folded in quarters.

But I cannot fathom how someone can look at the mission I was on, and think, in any sense, that it would be fun to play. You have about seven units, and have to build a base. This is well and good, except your force is too weak to take out the enemy. And when you build a base, about the time you're ready to start building new units, you run out of money, and need to wait to make more.

The main problem with this mission is that the enemy is able to drop a rain of missiles that will destroy structures and vehicles, and then cause a toxic cloud to linger. All normal troops die instantly, and vehicles and buildings take damage over time. Now, the AI can do this every five minutes, and there's no defense against it. The game makes mention of a commando that only units with detection (I only have access to one, and it's unarmed) can spot. However, I never saw this commando, only an endless rain of missiles that destroyed every fortification I spent five minutes building, followed by a stream of about forty suicide troopers, tanks, biological weapon tractors, and so on.

I put up with it for a while, but trying to figure out what to do while constantly failing -- how is that rewarding to a player? I cannot believe that more than three or four people ever managed to beat that mission on their first try. I imagine that a significant number of people got through it on their third or fourth try.

Is this 'content'? "We'll make it so hard you continually have to start over. That's replay value!"?

I don't exactly want victory handed to me without effort -- where's a game without challenge, after all? But I also don't want the game to basically destroy me without giving me any idea what I'm doing wrong. If their clue is that I'm supposed to build a troop transport to detect the commando, well, someone failed here. Maybe it was me, for not knowing where to find this command to and kill it (I'm reasonably sure that the AI could build a new one anyway; the hero units the player gets aren't unique).

But realistically, as a consumer, this game was made for my entertainment. It failed to entertain me. So I'd like to say the failing is on the part of the developer.

And yet ... other people apparently enjoy this masochistic cycle.

I could understand if it were a game were cautious and careful planning yeilded a victory. I could see it if it were about learning optimizating and knowing exactly how quickly and efficiently to set up buildings and advance up the tech tree.

But it's not about those things.

It's about memorizing where the enemy stealth commando is and killing it -- at least, I assume so, anyway. I was never able to find it the first time, and so, could never assemble a strike force to try and take out the enemy. It may just be about sending out some kind of decoy to be killed by the missile rain of doom. But if it is, then that's not a satisfying gameplay mechanic to me ("You can't actually win. But you can lose less!"), and I can't see how it is to other people.

So, how DO people enjoy these games? The only thing I can think of is that the players of these games enjoy being stuck, and attaining their eventual victory after however few or many attempts it takes them to master it. But I get enough of THAT struggle in my real life -- why would I want to simulate it on my free time?

Is that all it is?

I guess I just don't have the patience for tactical games.