I got a new phone. A while ago. Just forgot to mention it.

It's okay. It plays techno when I get a call. That's kinda cool.

I went to a concert on Friday. It was loud.

I don't expect I'll go to another concert again, unless it's outdoors, and even then, I have doubts. All of the sound just melded into a wall of solid sound I couldn't decipher.

Original Joes is pricey. But they let you walk in wearing pretty much street clothes, so it's not all bad.

My bed is, I think, too small for two people.

And perhaps, my life is, too.

Hmm.

This is not a happy thought.

I feel tension.

Relief.

I'm adrift on a sea of emotion.

It feels, as tired as I am, that I am approaching ... SOMETHING. I don't know what it is yet.

But I know I've been looking for it for a while. I draw closer and closer to what I'm seeking.

I think, perhaps, just maybe, that I've learned faith.

And I think I'm ready for what may happen next.

My phone died last night.

Frustrating.

Now I have two half-phones, and there's not enough cable between them for me to craft phone-chucks.

I'll buy a new one tonight.

Grrr.

Obsession of the Moment: Not Chrno Cross.

Chrno Cross is Zenki. With guns.

And it's so freaking DARK you can hardly ever tell what's going on.

Lord Buffington showed me Gunbound.

It makes an EXCELENT replacement for Outwar.

I'm experiencing nearly constant anxiety attacks.

Fasting (and only that) seems to abate the anxiety.

This is ultimately beneficial to me, I guess, but at the same time, strange.

And I'm waiting for my current rush of anxiety to fade.

I just don't have that much to be stressed about. But my heart is beating unsteadily, skipping beats, and I have a constant sensation like I just totally and irrevokably screwed something up.

Obsession of the Moment: Full Metal Alchemist.

Originally, I was thinking that FMA lacked a certain something. It was a little too slapstick, or 'silly'.

I've realized since that the presentation really carries it despite all that. And, after watching more closely, I've come to appreciate it for what it is. Pretty darned good.

Still not Scrapped Princess (all you 'SutePri' purists can stuff it, unless you can prove to me that you're a naitive Japanese speaker OR only ever watched the series raw -- that kind of mindless fanboyism is ... for another rant. But you can still stuff it.) quality, but quite fine non-the-less.

Ranting.

Why am I so judgmental of other people, anyway?

I've come to the determination that my ranting about the shortcomings of other people is redirecting anger at myself for my own shortcomings.

Or just people being total idiots.

I'm not certain.

Even if someone is an idiot, don't they still have a right to live? To be happy? Who am I try and decry otherwise?

Again, I find a flaw in myself that needs to be corrected.

Without adressing any of the others.

Still, I suppose it's progress. I know what I need to do, and knowing ... is half of the battle. Right?

I'll keep that thought still for a while, and use it to beat back the seething tide of resentment within me (I don't think I REALLY hate myself that much ... what is all this anger at, I wonder?), and turn to more constructive purposes.

I have Sizable Savings Towards the Laptop Fund.

Hmm.

There were other Happy Thoughts (tm), but they've faded into a general mailaise of contentment.

This is actually a good thing.

Er. You knew that.

The annoying part about blogging that just occured to me is that it's a journal for me, AND for you ... whoever you people happen to be. Strange, strange people who want to read my journal.

...why do you, anyway? O_o?

Ah. Sleep is required.

Oh, yes. Now I remember.

My Forbidden Words list. If you e-mail me with anything even remotely SIMILAR to spam, it gets auto-dropped from the server, and bounc'd.

If you wish (for some reason) to e-mail me, include, in the subject line of your e-mail: '[4chan]'.

Yeah.

I'm clinging to my e-mail address. ;_;